Is my Husband Seeing Prostitutes?


307
Ed ShullNovember 19th, 2008


My post on married men and prostitutes has brought in a significant amount of traffic and feedback.  One of the more interesting things that came from the post is hearing stories from women who have caught their husbands cheating on them with prostitutes.  So I thought I would write a quick post with tips to see if your husband is seeing a prostitute.

To best catch your husband, it will help to understand how prostitutes work.  First off, there are different types of prostitutes.  There are your street walkers, your escort agency hookers, the brothel prostitute, and your high-end escorts/companions.

Let’s start with the street walkers.  A typical street walker is going to charge between $20 – $100 (typically $30 – $40), and usually perform the act while in a car.  Since even scumbag husbands have some level of self-preservation, there is likely to be condoms involved.  And that is your first clue.  Condom wrappers in the car is an obvious sign that something is up.  Also, odd charges on a bank card at a drug store of gas station could be condoms.  If you see a charge for gas, and then a separate charge for inside the gas station, you may want to check if they carry condoms, and how much they cost, so that you can compare that to the purchase.  Then ask your husband what he bought.  If what he says doesn’t match the charge, and the price of a pack of Trojans does, he’s busted.

Moving on to escort agencies, these places take credit cards.  Look for any charges for things like “Airport Services”, “Mobile Assistants”, “Hotel Services” or “Massage Service”  .  And if in doubt, call your credit card company and ask them what type of company made these charges.  Believe it or not, the credit card company will sometimes be able to tell if the company is an escort agency.

Also keep in mind the typical charge for an escort agency via credit card is about $300 – $700.  If you see a suspicious charge from the same company twice in the same day, that could be an escort agency.  Escort agencies charge for having the girl show up to the room.  Once there, it’s up to the girl and the client what happens and the cost.  They will sometimes hit the card when the girl gets there, and then hit is again for the girls “tip”.

Phone records are also a good indication.  If your husband has half a brain, he’s not going to call the agency from his mobile phone, knowing you could see the call.  So check with the hotel if any local calls were made from the room.

Brothels are highly unusual, and not likely unless your husband has gone to Nevada, or out of the country.  Still, know these places take credit cards as well, and are not as stealthy as the escort agency at hiding the charges.  Look for charges of about $500 – $1000.

The independent escort is the more common approach these days.  Most advertise on the Web, allowing men to check out the goods through pictures first.  These escorts do not usually take credit cards, although some do use Paypal.  Usually these are cash transactions.  There is a common thought that anyone taking out hundreds of dollars from an ATM after midnight is up to no good.  Keep in mind that these girls typically charge around $300, because that’s what men can take out of an ATM at any time.  So look for late night withdrawals.

And because these girls are often contacted through the Web, you can often find good evidence through your husbands computer.  Check his browser history, and his cache.  Search the machine for pictures.  Sites like eros-guide.com, or Craigslist.org are the most often paces where guys go shopping for hookers.  If your husband is traveling to a different state, check out the local Craigslist for that state on his computer.  You should be able to tell if he has clicked the links for the “erotic services” section.

Keep in mind that when confronted, he will of course lie.  And when shown 100% proof, he will claim that it was his first and only time.  This will be a lie.

I'm the editor of Filthy Lucre, and the CEO of USWeb. I write about things I find interesting in the financial and business space, and often gadgets. I'm an unapologetic Apple fanboy I spend most of my waking day near an iMac, iPhone or iPad. I split my time between my beach condo in Baja, and my home in Las Vegas.
 

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  • Ann

    Who needs a private investigator when you've got a husband as stupid as mine … who left the slip of paper with the three whores he'd looked up on Craigslist (Phoenix). Heck, he even wrote their names, phone numbers and fees on a nice little slip of paper and tucked it in his wallet for me to find when I went in there to leave a romantic little love note as a surprise for his upcoming trip to China. The surprise was on me when tucking that love note into his wallet, I found his list of fuck buddies. Of course he did his deny and deflect dance when I showed him what I'd found. Then he tore it up. Did I mention I'd already photo copied his little note? Who needs a p.i when I've got myself.

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/filthylucre filthylucre

    Ann – Sorry to hear about your husband making plans to get a hooker. But let's be honest, were you really going to put a "romantic little love note" into his wallet? :) You caught him, so feel free to admit you were going through his stuff.

    And tell your husband just to get a smart phone to keep his numbers.

  • Destroyed

    I just found a secret email account my husband had since 2006 with hundreds of contacts with escorts. They speak of screenings, referrals, appt times, donations, phone numbers, hotel address'. I confronted him, and he keeps insisting that he was only playing a game to see how far he could get, but never actually met anyone. Explain referrals right? Says that he just chatted with them for a while, then later went back to ask for it. Please tell me there is NO WAY this could be true, and that he's just lying. I have proof, but these manupulations and excuses put 1% of doubt, and I just have to know!

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/filthylucre filthylucre

    I would say your instincts are probably right. I can understand wanting to give him the benefit of the doubt, but I think it's safe to say that it's highly unlikely that he didn't go through with his plans. And you can certainly cling to the fact that he has used incredibly poor judgement either way. But the fact that he is giving escorts referrals from other escorts… that means he has been with other escorts successfully. He actually would be what is referred to as a "hobbyist".

    You may want to check his history for sites like theeroticreview.com, or bigdog.net. Try to see if he visits these sites, or even has a password. Also, look for transaction on ATM machines at around the times you think he would have done this. You're looking for $300 withdrawals. But if you can't find these things, don't let him off the hook. They would just be ore evidence, but I think you know the truth already.

    Add to that the fact that he is going to keep up the lie. He knows that you don't believe it, but he wants you to just accept it and move on, thereby giving him permission to do what he wants. The very fact that he is still fighting this, regardless of the overwhelming proof that he has cheated with hookers, just shows what little remorse he has.

    In my opinion you should give him one last chance to come clean. Maybe tell him you called one of the "referrals", or even actually do that. If he isn't willing to come clean, I would say there isn't much more to discuss.

    And for what it's worth, I'm sorry you were treated with such disrespect. It's hard to find that someone you thought loved and cared about you is so willing to put you at risk for their own selfish wants.

    Let me know how things shake out. How many escorts was he communicating with? How long ago? And how did you find his secret email account?

  • Clara

    Well I am up at 3am because I am packing and moving into an apartment from my boyfriends house. I was snooping in his email and found a strange email from a woman about meeting up with him. He wrote that he was looking forward to meeting her. So I googled her funny sounding name. I thought it was a salon or something. It was a prostitute.

    I confronted him before he left town and he said he was just fooling around on the net. After I researched the site I told him I know that those girls don't make appointments unless you pay and they verify your identity or do that reference thing and he still said it was BS and they responded to him right away. Then he said he just wanted a massage. So I asked why from a whore escort from the net? He still blew it off as nothing.

    So he left town for along weekend and I called the whore. She actually talked to me! She at first said she never met with him and that he had cancelled but knew I was calling around–the word was out among the girls! She knew exactly who I was calling about. He must have called them because he knows I won't give up till I get an answer. So she busted him for me. She said its just fantasy stuff and nothing bad and I told her I didn't believe her. I hung up on her.

    Here is where I believe God helped me. She called me back!!!!!!!! She felt sorry for me and had been cheated on as well before(imaging that huh?) and she did some calling around to her other whore friends and said he HAS been seeing other girls and I should dump him and he is not worth it. I asked if he was having sex with them and she confirmed it.
    I am so upset right now. Throwing up crying packing and moving in about 6 hours.
    The only thing that is helping are these posts I am finding.
    We were together for over 3 years. You really never know anyone.

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/filthylucre filthylucre

    Clara, I'm sorry that you're going through this, but I'm happy the posts helped. You're not alone, and you're certainly not at fault for your boyfriend choosing to be an ass. As tough as this is, the hardest part is behind you. Now it's time to go and find someone who really deserves you.

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/filthylucre filthylucre

    I don’t know much about you, but I think I can say with a fair degree of certainty, you can do better than this guy. If you’re really talking about over 100 indiscretions, you’re dealing with someone who has very little respect for you or his marriage.

    And if he is emailing prostitutes love letters declaring his love, he is simply pathetic. You deserve better.

    I’m sure this is painful, but you do not have the perfect husband. You have someone using you for all the benefits of having a wife, while he screws around with other women, disregarding your feelings and putting you at risk.

    And I have to say that I find this guy to be especially bad. It’s one thing for a guy to get a hooker and believe that it has nothing to do with your wife. It’s a rare thing and you have no feelings for the hooker. But to do it and then send love letter expressing your everlasting love… The guy is pathetic. He clearly fantasizes about leaving your for women he feels are more attractive, and he is bound to do so eventually. Do yourself a favor and collect whatever pride you have left and walk out the door. And make sure to take his hooker money in the divorce.

  • BetrayedSpouse

    Dear Filthylucre,

    Thanks for responding to me (BetrayedSpouse). You can call me Sarah if you like from now on. What makes a man to do the things that my husband did? It never crossed my mind that he would do such a thing. From the very beginning I told him that it is possible that some day he may stop loving me and love somebody else. As long as he is honest with me even though I would not like it it would be much easier to accept. But sleeping with all these women all this time and kept such a secretive and deceitful life on the side. My husband clearly look for something on the side. He acknowledged that. Why? I am very supportive of him. With his work and everything else in his life. He tells me all of his problems and asks for guidance from me all the time. I always thought that we were very close since he always asked my help on everything and did not do much of anything without checking with me. When we tried to have sex most of the time he was not able to. I was even understanding of that. Gradually we stop having sex or had so little of it and it is because I thought he could not do it. Now he says that his lifestyle caused this problem. I am a very attractive woman. He says that and I know that but when I am around him I don't particularly pay attention to how I look. At nights I did not know how to look sexy and did not wear the kind of outfit that he likes to see on the hookers. Because of this he says even though he loved me he did not feel attraction to me and this affected him. He is now telling me all this. I did not know. I know I should have known. He is not blaming me for all this; he is taking full responsibility and he says he wants to change. We started going to AAA type of meetings together. He says he feels remorse and shame. He says he will acknowledge all this to his parents who are religious people and to his friends and siblings. We also started going to church. Next week we have a doctor appointment to see together for his sex addiction which he calls it. What do I do? I have so much invested in this life. Is it ever possible that he can change? What do I need to do to help him. I guess I am thinking if I provided to him the type of sex he looks outside of the home may be this would not happen. I know this is not my fault. Aside from this he is a very good man. He does everything I ask from him. He always has been very caring and loving toward me. He says that he wrote those love letters to this woman because of the fight they had and she was not calling him back and he needed her back to continue having sex. He did not mean any of it, he said. Should I believe that?

  • BetrayedSpouse

    Dear Filthylucre,

    Thanks for responding to me (BetrayedSpouse). You can call me Sarah if you like from now on. What makes a man to do the things that my husband did? It never crossed my mind that he would do such a thing. From the very beginning I told him that it is possible that some day he may stop loving me and love somebody else. As long as he is honest with me even though I would not like it it would be much easier to accept. But sleeping with all these women all this time and kept such a secretive and deceitful life on the side. My husband clearly look for something on the side. He acknowledged that. Why? I am very supportive of him. With his work and everything else in his life. He tells me all of his problems and asks for guidance from me all the time. I always thought that we were very close since he always asked my help on everything and did not do much of anything without checking with me. When we tried to have sex most of the time he was not able to. I was even understanding of that. Gradually we stop having sex or had so little of it and it is because I thought he could not do it. Now he says that his lifestyle caused this problem. I am a very attractive woman. He says that and I know that but when I am around him I don't particularly pay attention to how I look. At nights I did not know how to look sexy and did not wear the kind of outfit that he likes to see on the hookers. Because of this he says even though he loved me he did not feel attraction to me and this affected him. He is now telling me all this. I did not know. I know I should have known. He is not blaming me for all this; he is taking full responsibility and he says he wants to change. We started going to AAA type of meetings together. He says he feels remorse and shame. He says he will acknowledge all this to his parents who are religious people and to his friends and siblings. We also started going to church. Next week we have a doctor appointment to see together for his sex addiction which he calls it. What do I do? I have so much invested in this life. Is it ever possible that he can change? What do I need to do to help him. I guess I am thinking if I provided to him the type of sex he looks outside of the home may be this would not happen. I know this is not my fault. Aside from this he is a very good man. He does everything I ask from him. He always has been very caring and loving toward me. He says that he wrote those love letters to this woman because of the fight they had and she was not calling him back and he needed her back to continue having sex. He did not mean any of it, he said. Should I believe that?

  • BetrayedSpouse

    Dear Filthylucre,

    Thanks for responding to me (BetrayedSpouse). You can call me Sarah if you like from now on. What makes a man to do the things that my husband did? It never crossed my mind that he would do such a thing. From the very beginning I told him that it is possible that some day he may stop loving me and love somebody else. As long as he is honest with me even though I would not like it it would be much easier to accept. But sleeping with all these women all this time and kept such a secretive and deceitful life on the side. My husband clearly look for something on the side. He acknowledged that. Why? I am very supportive of him. With his work and everything else in his life. He tells me all of his problems and asks for guidance from me all the time. I always thought that we were very close since he always asked my help on everything and did not do much of anything without checking with me. When we tried to have sex most of the time he was not able to. I was even understanding of that. Gradually we stop having sex or had so little of it and it is because I thought he could not do it. Now he says that his lifestyle caused this problem. I am a very attractive woman. He says that and I know that but when I am around him I don't particularly pay attention to how I look. At nights I did not know how to look sexy and did not wear the kind of outfit that he likes to see on the hookers. Because of this he says even though he loved me he did not feel attraction to me and this affected him. He is now telling me all this. I did not know. I know I should have known. He is not blaming me for all this; he is taking full responsibility and he says he wants to change. We started going to AAA type of meetings together. He says he feels remorse and shame. He says he will acknowledge all this to his parents who are religious people and to his friends and siblings. We also started going to church. Next week we have a doctor appointment to see together for his sex addiction which he calls it. What do I do? I have so much invested in this life. Is it ever possible that he can change? What do I need to do to help him. I guess I am thinking if I provided to him the type of sex he looks outside of the home may be this would not happen. I know this is not my fault. Aside from this he is a very good man. He does everything I ask from him. He always has been very caring and loving toward me. He says that he wrote those love letters to this woman because of the fight they had and she was not calling him back and he needed her back to continue having sex. He did not mean any of it, he said. Should I believe that?

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/filthylucre filthylucre

    Sarah,

    I think at this point your husband will say whatever it takes, and I know that you will believe him. The decision to accept what he says and give your marriage another chance is obviously 100% up to you. But in my opinion, he will do this again.

    And I can’t believe that you are taking any part of the blame for this. Even though you say you know it’s not your fault, you’re actually concerned about what you didn’t wear to turn him on. One thing you have to realize is that there is nothing you could have worn, nothing you could have done, and nothing you could have said to stop him from screwing around. Him saying you don’t dress sleazy enough is a joke. He is just trying to give you a reason that he thinks you’ll grab on to. The truth of the matter is, he doesn’t have a good excuse for what he has been doing. He wanted to screw other hot women, and then was too spent or distracted to sleep with you. Trust me, it has nothing to do with the way you dress.

    As for why he wrote love letters, his excuse is insane. If you want a hooker to call you back, you simply offer money. No prostitute is interested in having a romantic relationship with a client, especially one they don’t bother to return calls to.

    I know you want to believe your husband, and you would like nothing more than this nightmare to be behind you. If that’s what you want, feel free to believe him and be ready for some serious denial in the future. You won’t be the first woman to look the other way on this stuff. But realize that eventually one of these women might just move forward with some sort of long-term relationship, and you may end up in the cold.

    Do you have kids? How old are you both?

  • BetrayedSpouse

    No we don't have kids. In the past several years we both wanted to have kids. I am 43 yrs old. He is 49 yrs old. Because of my age we had to have sex a lot for me to get pregnant he just could not do it. He now says he feels remorse that his lifestyle caused us not to have the ability to have sex and have a family. Until several weeks ago he was trying to convince me to go to doctor so we can have a child through artificial insemination. But we don't have any problems; our problem was we were not having sex period. When last week he went to the doctor to get checked for HIV and STD he talked to the doctor about having a kid and doctor told him that it is still possible. I can't believe he is still thinking about a child from me.

  • BetrayedSpouse

    No we don't have kids. In the past several years we both wanted to have kids. I am 43 yrs old. He is 49 yrs old. Because of my age we had to have sex a lot for me to get pregnant he just could not do it. He now says he feels remorse that his lifestyle caused us not to have the ability to have sex and have a family. Until several weeks ago he was trying to convince me to go to doctor so we can have a child through artificial insemination. But we don't have any problems; our problem was we were not having sex period. When last week he went to the doctor to get checked for HIV and STD he talked to the doctor about having a kid and doctor told him that it is still possible. I can't believe he is still thinking about a child from me.

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/filthylucre filthylucre

    Very strange indeed, but I think he is just saying things that will make you believe in your relationship.

    Did you see pictures of any of the women he was with? Did they look alike, or look like you at all? Any idea how much money he was spending on prostitutes?

  • BetrayedSpouse

    Yes. I have been the websites where he picks the women and I even saw the picture of the woman he confessed his love to. Strangely this woman looks a lot like me except that according to both him and the reviews this woman has droopy breasts. I estimated that approx. he spent about $35,000 in those years. Could be more? He keeps telling me now that he is glad this burden is lifted of his heart and wants start all over and he says he believes that our relationship can be even stronger. Is it possible?

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/filthylucre filthylucre

    I know you want to believe him, but I don't think it's likely that he will stop for long. I'm sure he'll chill out for a short period, but in the end this seems to behavior that he enjoys.

    I would like to ask you a question that is more private, email me if you feel comfortable. I may have a suggestion to see if he's on the up and up about this. ed.shull@gmail.com

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/filthylucre filthylucre

    I know you want to believe him, but I don't think it's likely that he will stop for long. I'm sure he'll chill out for a short period, but in the end this seems to behavior that he enjoys.

    I would like to ask you a question that is more private, email me if you feel comfortable. I may have a suggestion to see if he's on the up and up about this. ed.shull@gmail.com

  • BetrayedSpouse

    I sent you an email. Can you please respond?

  • Robin

    Clara,while it's disturbung and annoying your husband has used a hooker STOP CALLING THE WHORES. They owe you nothing and don't give a crap.Their disturbed screwed up women and there lives couldn't be anyworse if there selling there bodies,remember she's a lost screwed up soul off her path and your husband is the one who went seeking out and called her.She seems to have been allot more empathetic to your feelings than The man who had the loyalty to you was (WOW,IMAGINE THAT,HUH?) The men who have the commitments are the ONLY ones you should be confronting! Plus if anybody was a whore ,your husband was the biggest whore of all for cheating on you AND that was quit rare that she called you back out of this so called compassion for you.

    Move on please,he probably has a sex addiction

  • Robin

    Betrayed spouse, First of all I'm so sorry for your latest discovery. I cheer you on in saying diveorce and leave him,it will take along recovery for him with prostitutes and also to cure his dilusion that any woman using sex as a transaction will NEVER love him or is in it for love! If she's making him believe that than she's a hell of an actress with $$ signs in her eyes!The more he falls for it the wider his pocket book opens and that affects you and the family aswell!
    You would really need some time away to get intouch with what your intution and higher power wants you to do,seriously it would be a long hard journey and think of him dipping into your finaces,shared bank accounts to with draw money for his addiction of escorts,think of it as being with a gambler or anyone with a addiction,my prayers go out to you,and I hope your able to leave you deserve the best and someone exclusively yours!!

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/GAMIESTE GAMIESTE

    I did something even worse! I forgot the condom on my dick, so my wife saw me taking it out in the bathroom! Another time she smelled my dick, and it was smelling of plastic due to the earlier use of condom. But this convinced her that i needed more sexual freedom, so i took her with me on the sex games. I went to a parking lot, and while i was fucking her, a guy approached and he finished masturbating on her ass cheeks! Slowly slowly i made her to like sex orgies so now we visit swinger clubs in Holland to have fun! There is nothing better than to do the sex perversions together as a couple and not behind each other's back. You women have to understand, that Monogamy serves only the women's interests, not men's. Even if we were married to super-models, we would get bored fucking the same person after 50-100 times. We need to change women, but only rich people can have these lives. When u are lower or middle-class, then u cannot afford to change women, it is too much money. So try it with your husband and invite a guy over to the house or some hotel, and make a 3-some. trust me he will love u seeing like this: both wife and hooker in one package! :) ))))

  • Rebecca

    That is exactly what happened in my situation, I saw this yahoo email address in the cache on my husbands office computer (his office was moving so he brought his laptop home) so I went to yahoo and put it in the address and said forgot password, well there were two test questions, one was the name of your older cousin and the other one was your favorite football team, well I knew both answers after being married for 10 years to my husband and bingo I was in his secret email, and boy did I get a surprise, all these ads my husband put on craigslist offering to be a sugardaddy and offering to pay attractive girl to watch him masturbate. etc etc. He had also answered several (there were 463 emails sent) ads from backstage.com (you can look up prostitutes in any city on this site with profiles and pics) , and I even saw one where he was thanking this girl for a hot time the day before. He's also on sugardaddy.com .

  • Rebecca

    Continued:
    In saw all his correspondences with these girls claiming in almost alll messages that he has a big dick and asked them how big they were used to. He was so busy during work hours that I can see why I am the only one married to a broke lawyer. Your husband is full of it, mine did the same thing I just caught, for the first 5 yrs of marriage straight, I didnt find out until we were married, he used his cell phone for everything at that time so I had so many calls to prostitutes and single chat lines, I thought he had changed.

  • Rebecca

    Continued:
    When I confronted him he said that it was just fantasy and he never actually went through with actually meeting them, and then I showed him the one email he sent the girl saying what a hot time they had together, and he said thats the only one, and then I found two more, where he is asking if she had a good time the last time they were together, he said, they just wantched me jack off at my office (he's a lawyer). I have been married 9 yrs nov. and I just read that you can't get spousel support unless you have been married 10 years so I have to figure out how to get to the 10 yr mark.

  • Rebecca

    WOW your husband will not change, he will only hide it better, sex addiction is not curable and you have to be extremely commmitted to stoppping. My husband got prostitutes for the last 10 years and we started going to sex addict anon classes together and separate and he would walk around with his desire chip in his pocket all along cheating, it was just manipulation. What you have to understand is if he has gotten away with it for this long, he is very skilled at being deceitful, and when he is making these promises to you it is hard not believe what he is saying but trust me, he is lying. He will keep his double life.

  • annette

    I caught my husband with 2 prostitute this week. He passed out on zanax and alcohol and had to be hospitalized. I thought he was working late called his cell phone and one of the girls answered and said he was unresponsive, she was scared and had not called 911. By the time I got to his office, there were 5 police cars, a firetruck and a ambulance. He almost died. He is now out of the hospital. He said that he found one of the girls on a web site 2 weeks ago. That she came to his office but that he didn't want to pay. He called her again that night. I forgot to mention that his pants were down when medics arrived. I've told him to fess up but he keeps lying. Do you think this has been going on for years? We've been married 23 years and have sex once a year.jt

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/filthylucre filthylucre

    Just to be clear; your husband was found with passed out, with two hookers, with his pants down, and he admit to meeting at least one of them off the web before, but he says he's innocent of having sex with hookers?

    Not only is he lying, he doesn't think much your intelligence either. They very fact that you're contemplating wether he's telling the truth speaks to how far you're willing to look the other way, and he knows it.

    So yes, he is lying, and cheating, and probably doing things much worse than he just got caught doing. I'm sorry for the way he's treating you, but it's time to look at this guy for what he is. If you want to stay with him and accept it, then that's your call. But you have to at least acknowledge to yourself that he is doing these things.

  • jan b

    ive been married 33 years, have discovered my husband has been betraying me with hookers for 20 years!!! Im traumatized, This is horrific! I'm hearing all the usual , he had a dark side, an addiction, it wasnt about sex( playing tiddlywinks, were they??) he wants to change, be the husband i deserv,e etc etc. Hes doing all the right things, getting treatment, being attentative, but I cant help feeling hes only stopped because he was exposed. He never stopped for me in 2 decades!!!
    I'm shattered, I'm 61, What kind of life can I look forward to? My marriage and memories are bogus. . I feel as if I've stepped into someone elses life – and i want mine back!!! But my life never was, didnt exist, was an allusion. My pain and anger is intense, I cant bear living with this knowledge.
    This is the horror he has inflicted with his whoring! He never felt shame or guilt. He justified his foul behaviour by kidding himself that it was "seperate" and nothing to do with me !!!!!

  • annette

    Thanks for confirming what I already knew but did not want to admit. He has rented a truck and is moving his things out today. I just feel so stupid, hurt etc. I'm 51 years old, very attractive and a good person. I keep asking myself if only I'd kept my makeup on till he came home, wore sexing underware, etc… I feel that my whole world has ended. I go from Mad to sad to hurt.
    Thank you again for making me acknowledge what he really is.

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/filthylucre filthylucre

    Annette, you shouldn't feel that you did anything wrong. I know you know that, but you need to really believe it. It's not like he's been with a single woman for these years. He's been paying money for younger, attractive women to have sex with him. He didn't leave you for something real, he just paid money to get something he wanted sexually. It was pathetic. He screwed things up, but your life is still ahead of you.

    You should set something up with a therapist to get you through this rough patch. I promise, a year from now you'll be in a much healthier place.

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/filthylucre filthylucre

    First off, I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this. Obviously dealing with a 20 year long betrayal is beyond difficult.

    But I do have to say that he's not being totally dishonest when he tells you that it's separate from his life with you. If he was snorting coke for 20 years, you would believe that. To him, it's the same thing. It's not that he thinks it's a good thing, or fair to you. He just views it as something he's doing, not doing to you.

    This doesn't mean you have to forgive him, but you can certainly go on knowing that you have nothing to forgive yourself for. He did this for his own reasons, and they have nothing to do with you.

    And you memories are not bogus, you can look back on your marriage as real. You just didn't know him as well as you thought.

    Are you in counseling together?

  • jan b

    Thanks for your sensible and calm response ( I wanted outrage on my behalf!!!) but calm is good. calm is what I need, I want to live in the 'Land of calm"!
    My husband is being treated by a Doc that specialises in this kind of "behaviour" and he is having to face the real damage he has done, to us, to me & to himself.
    I know it "had nothing to do with me", But I wish the x rated movies would stop playing in my head.
    My head tells me I was in no way to blame etc, but my heart is shattered into millions of pieces – I loved him. I trusted him. I feel he took my love & our marriage and flushed away down the toilet over and over again. But your right. he didnt really think like that. What a shock it has been to acknowledge that I never really knew the man I have loved for 33 years.
    I'm in a "wait and see" state right now. I'm seeing this( usually unemotional ) man in tears, begging me to let him be the man he should've been for all those wasted years. He will do anything for me. So I think I'll go along for the ride, and see where it takes me.
    Oh, & yes we are in councelling. not sure if its doing any good…..but cant do any harm.
    Again thank you, I'm really touched that people can reach out to someone they dont know and take the time to make a difference. I feel better.
    .

  • evelyn

    hi i recently busted my boyfriend of four years was seeing escorts, i don't know for how long and when at all it may have started. I must admit that we did separate for sometime during these four years and reconciled about 6 months ago. I started to get a hunch regarding his behavior and certain things he would do which led to my alarm bells ringing. I then tried to let things play themselves out and hoped the truth will come out on its own. He never gave me any reason to doubt him and its not like the phone would ring at weird times or any other suspicious behavior just that i could tell by his actions…he always told me he loved me and always was affectionate.

    Prior to our separation he had a fetish for latex and always tried to get me into it but i always felt insecure as to why we couldn't just have sex without all that. I didn't understand at the time but have tried to in the last few months and recently we tried to have sex and he became impotent and couldn't keep it up..i questioned what was wrong what was going on with his head he said stressed and tiredness so i let it slide. Though with the hunch i had i went through his computer and found the password to am email account i have never seen before and saw he had written an email requesting the availability of two escorts in particular approximately 30 minutes after i left to go and visit my parents. When i confronted him i asked him to tell the truth and he made up a story about it being organised for a friends bucks party..mind you i had no knowledge of this friend being engaged… Anyways after this big reveal he seemed to have shown no remorse he only said sorry but it wasn't as though he wanted to work things out…he just told me that i deserved better than him and he was so sorry and that he felt so bad for the pain he caused me….please help this man is like my loser love -the one that seems to be able to do anything and you'll still love them- I know this is eating at me and i haven't actually seen him since i left we did all of this on the phone. I haven't slept for 3 nights now and have surely lost a dress size…i don't know what to do please someone tell me if i should continue..? personally i don't believe i should and he told me it was just for sex and that it started as a result of us breaking-up…..please help this is all so fresh and im so hurt and disgusted by the whole thing…

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/filthylucre filthylucre

    Jan, I'm so happy you're feeling better. It sounds like you're both doing what needs to be done. Can you do everyone a favor and let everyone know how things are going? I think other women would benefit from seeing how you work through this.

    It takes a lot of strength to move forward with this man. And I'm sure that it's not going to be much fun for a while. But hopefully the good will outweigh the bad. Good luck.

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/filthylucre filthylucre

    Evelyn,

    Sometimes people are just sexually incompatible. It sounds like this guy is into some things that you're not. There is nothing wrong with that. Hell, if this guy is into latex and three-ways with hookers, I would say you're comparably very healthy.

    I'm going to guess that you're an attractive woman in her mid-twenties. You're boyfriend is probably slightly older. If I'm right, then here is my advice…dump his ass. Most of the women posting here are women who have been betrayed by a trusted spouse. They would have loved to had the early warning you just got.

    I know it's painful, but don't focus on that. Focus on the excitement of new possibilities. Enjoy the fact that you have a world of opportunity to meet the right person. Someone who doesn't need to lie to you so that he can get his rocks off. You deserve better, and you damn well know you can get it. Dump the luggage, change your Facebook status and let the wave of attention (that you deserve) begin.

  • evelyn

    Thankyou so much…and yes your spot on in am a very attractive girl which is one of the reasons he fell for me, i have no problem meeting men at all just that i'm stupidly drawn to this one.. and yes he is roughly 10 years my senior…i know i deserve better it the letting go that's the hardest part especially after we just reconciled.. i feel so used by this man…i absolutely did everything for him all just to be betrayed..but much like you said i should look forward to the new possibilities with someone who will truly care for me and respect me as a person and as a partner…in all honesty much like all the assholes who do this he seemed to have been only concerned with me rapping out his name to his family and friends about his dark side incase it may ruin his career…i don't even think he was truly sorry only that he got caught…As much as i will try and move on the problem i have is that i still love him so much and have always done so its so hard to just say "OFF" and to make matters worse i really don't think i can trust another man again…i simply feel as though they all carry these deep set secrets and its only when their busted that any of their unsuspecting partners find out…thanks again i knew but i think i needed an outsider to look in to see if this was worth trying to salvage…and obviously not.

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/filthylucre filthylucre

    Evelyn,

    I'm glad you see this guy for what he is. And I love being right! I know moving on is easier said than done, but try this; mark your calendar for 2 weeks for now, and see how you feel then. I'm sure you'll be beyond this guy by then, or at least feeling much better.

    One thing I have to ask. Are you Australian or British? No one in the U.S. uses terms like "bucks party" or "rapping out his name".

  • evelyn

    heheheee…yes im australian…and im not sure what you guys call it but a backs party is like the male version of a hens night…i think what you said is a very good idea…i'd much rather do my head in as a single person with only myself to worry about than to carry someone else's flaws upon myself…thanks again for your help much appreciated..

  • maya

    Glad I found this site…the stories are certainly familiar. I've been married 11 years, and am now kicking myself for ignoring the danger signals back when we were dating. That's when I found the phone sex line charges on his bill. He talked his way out of that one…"I was just curious. I never followed up." About a year after we were married, I stumbled upon letters from several escorts. He was totally gone on one of the ladies, and she knew a cash cow when she saw one. He appeared to have stopped right before our official engagement, not that it made me feel any better. We went to counseling and eventually reconciled. Still, he was never quite happy with my body, my lingerie, my personal grooming (you know what I mean). Sex became mechanical, infrequent and then disappeared entirely. We seemed to be drifting apart, but not so far apart that we could do the deed. So yeah, he's at it again. I got into his email and he's been seeing pros (300-600/hr) since at least last year. I now realize it is his identity, and it's never really going to stop. I'm just steeling myself to go through the trauma of divorce. Believe it or not, I still love him. I think he loves me, but not enough to stop seeing escorts.

  • Sandy

    Hi, right now I am still in shock and numb from finding out my husband saw an escort at his hotel (he travels for the railroad) week gone, then a week home. I checked the phone records and it all fell into place. He lied and told me he loaned his phone to someone. I wanted to believe that so bad but i knew it was a lie. I called the number and the hooker actually told me about the encounter and said she supports her 5 kids this way but she didn't mean to be a homewrecker. She told me how nervous my husband was and what they did ( a little BJ and doggie style and it lasted about 5 minutes) and he asked to take a couple of pictures of her to "show his friends". He gave her two hundred dollars for her little visit she said. I even found her pictures on her web site. A mexican with tattoos all over her and you can even see the strech marks on her stomach. I'm sick about this.

  • Sandy

    I don't think I can ever accept this. I hate a divorce after 25 years but I just don't think I can live with this. After I confronted him he admitted the truth and begged for forgivness and and all the other crap that goes along with getting caught. He will be home tomorrow and I don't know what to say to him. I can't believe this has happened. I think I will puke if he tries to ever touch me again. I am a very attractive woman and this skank he saw was pure cheap looking trash. Do I have to go out and get laid to feel like I am getting revenge? her number on google is 713-259-5363. This was in Beaumont, Tx. but she goes all over North and east tx.

  • http://www.filthylucre.com Ed Shull

    Sandy, sorry to hear about your husband. Obviously he screwed up. Have you actually confronted him yet?

  • Broken

    (You said) "So check with the hotel if any local calls were made from the room. "

    Do you really think the staff at the hotel will tell you that, if you just call and ask them?

  • http://www.filthylucre.com Ed Shull

    You should should be able to get an itemized copy of the bill if you know the credit card it was booked under. Either tell the hotel that you’re with the company paying for the hotel, or have a man call and say he’s your husband and wants to review the bill for errors.

  • Broken

    thank you

  • Trudy Kay

    Look Sandy Your husband was the one who cheated. Post his number up here and direct your anger to the proper source! He went calling her.Prostitutes are sad women in sad situations and in many case already victims. She wasn't a homeworker nor did she ruin your marriage.He was the home wrecker.You're a bitch for putting her number up. The woman could have easily just told you to fuk yourself but gave you information to give you some ammunition on what to do next with him. Whats the point in trashing her? Then she opens up and shares details of her sad life with a viper like yourself who uses it against her? Her life couldn't be any worse. She gave you more information than your so called "loyal" husband did and she's the one getting punished? That's logical! Ironically enough in my career I have helped women sold into prostitution,many of them are slaves to that. Calling them trash and filth is a big mistake! You're being vindictive to the wrong person!

  • TrudyKay

    My story is five years ago find out My husband cheated with escorts too but I never directed my vengeance on them or even bothered calling them GROW up and GROW a brain! I now help women in these situations and will tell you your acting like a three year old. Then you trash her looks? Men who see escorts are only after one thing. You have the mentality that you need to even compare yourself to someone your husband contacted and used for sex? This has nothing to do with your looks or you at all! Wake up and get a grip and don't for one second ask me how I would like it. I was dealing with a sex addicted husband for years so I'm giving you pearls of wisdom,take them!

  • http://www.filthylucre.com Ed Shull

    Trudy, chill out. There is no reason to get on her case. Let the woman vent about her husband if she wants.

    Also, since the hooker lists her own number on websites, I doubt she’s that concerned about it being anywhere else online.

  • Sandy

    Listen TrudyKay, the FN whore's phone number is posted all over the internet. Just put it in Google and all her filthy ugly pictures comes up and she even calls herself a slut! So you can stick your "viper" up your ass. How dare you come down on me , I am sure not defending my husband, I have already kicked his ass out and I'm going to take him to the cleaners in the divorce. I almost want to thank the skank, she is the reason I'm getting rid of the jerk. My pride was hurt at first but now I'm just glad to be rid of him. So keep defending the poor pitiful abused sad whores. They could get their lazy asses a real job but hooking is all they have enough sense to do.

  • TrudyKay

    Listen here Sandra if there weren't FN whore husbands like ours who call them and seek them out they'd have to get real jobs now wouldn't they ?so you do the honors of sticking the viper up your ass since you'll need it now more than me. How dare I come down on you? I'm giving you pearls of wisdom and some clarity Tinkerbell from a sage who knows whats she's talking about so bend over and take it.You can thank me when you stop foaming at the mouth and work out all those anger issues! You don't need to thank the Skank for anything since your husband would have cheated with anyone and if a whore wasn't available he would have banged a free one at a bar you could have possibly thanked a million women so …in reality it has nothing to do with this particular Skank…you should just thank god for showing you your husbands cheating ways!

  • TrudyKay

    and understand this ….I've seen hundreds of women sold into the sex slave trade and not by choice and ignorant souls like yourself who make these judgments thinking it's just that simple to get a "real job" so enough with your puritanical bullshit and judgment AGAIN your husband is the biggest whore of all!! SO WAS MINE!!

  • Sandy

    You know what,,,You are just looking for someone to fight with and I have enough on my mind right now without your fanatical rantings. Please don't respond to this, I am NOT interested in anything you have to say. You are NUTS!!!

  • http://www.filthylucre.com Ed Shull

    Sandy – I agree with you. This may be horrible to say, but I think we see why TrudyKay’s husband was unhappy. Imagine living with this woman!

  • sad isn't it?

    I've got one for you. I have a three children ages 5 and younger. I have documentation that he has been seeing prostitutes since a month after the 2 yo was born. He was chatting with a woman in russian running up credit card bills since before the 5 yo was born. After maxing out one of our cards I confronted him and he stopped putting charges on the cards. He just started embezelling money out of his business, first sending us into personal bankruptcy then loosing his business on top of it all. He has no idea I know all this and he is in the Army now. He just competed basic training and I am so afraid he will quit when he figures out that I am not going to be his ideal wife. That I am going to divorce him. I have been a stay at home mom for the past 2 years and I am having a hard time finding a job to pay for health insurance for me and the kids if he does quit. Because the kids can stay on his insurance if he stays in the Army. Btw his father did this same thing to his mother.

  • http://www.filthylucre.com Ed Shull

    That really sucks. I’m glad to hear you’re standing up for yourself and not letting him get away with all this. It’s bad enough to cheat with hookers, but even worse to drive your family broke for it.

    When you say a woman in Russia, do you mean a Russian women here, or is he actually going to see prostitutes in Russia?

  • puddles

    OMG Rebecca…. I was just reading your comments and thought, "hey, I'll see if he has acct's at backstage or sugardaddy…" Well, nothing at backstage but he did have one at sugardaddy!!!! Guess what, he is a broke lawyer too. I would love to email with you if you are interested: puddles at live dot com.

  • Jenn

    When My bf was sleeping his cell phone rang, I picked it up and the person hung up. It's was a NYC number, he doesn't know anyone in NYC so I called the number back and it was a woman. I thought affrair and my heart sunk. Then I plowed through his cell phone and found dozens of unrecognizable phone numbers that I looked up on Zabasearch and found they were all cell numbers. So I googled the numbers and they led me to escort and transsexual prostitute ads. I confronted him and he went bezerk about me invading his "privacy" and told me it was none of my effing business and that he didn't do anything wrong. He is claiming he only called the numbers but didn't do anything, that he only talked to these freaks to get a cheap thrill and that I should be glad that's all he did. I don't buy it all. He's not using credit cards so I can't bust him on that and I don't have access to his bank records because I am not married to him so what recourse do I have? How can I get to the bottom of this? With no proof he actually went through with it he has the upper hand and keeps trying to make ME feel guilty for accusing him of wrong doing. If I had the financial resources I would leave him but I do not. I am disabled and dependent so I am in a very bad place. Quite frankly, the stress of this whole situation is pushing me to suicide. We have been together for 20 years and I leave I walk away with nothing but the clothes on my back and head directly into a life of homelessness. He knows this and I feel he will keep doing whatever he wants because he has no respect for me and knows I don't have other options.

  • jenn

    I called too but not to trash the person, I called to ask whether my man actually went through with it or whether he punked out like he claims. I have no anger at the prostitutes at all because they don't care about him at all and only want his money. What really angers me is the lying and psychological games. I suspect this has been going on for ten years because after I caught the prostitutes on the cell phone I began to think and remembered little things here and there that happened over the years that I blew off because he always had explanations. I remember once back about 9 years, I dropped change in his car and reached under the seat to get it only to pull out some hard core porn magazine I never heard of that featured trannys. He told me a friend at work gave it to him as a gag. I couldn't image him being into that at the time so I accepted that explanation. Another time I found latex condoms in the car that he claimed t were for ME. But I am allergic to latex and when I pointed that out he started a huge fight claiming I was selfish for being mad at him for buying the wrong kind. He actually had me apologising to him! My trust is so destroyed I feel sick to my stomach, I honestly don't think I can ever trust a man again. I will always be paranoid looking for signs and thinking he's up to no good every time he leaves the house. This is the damage that is done to me and I hate him for it. If he would fess up at least I could respect him for being honest, but no the lying parade continues.

  • Jenn

    If our men didn't act like suspicious weirdos we wouldn't have to go through his stuff. When your man disappears with odd explanations for his whereabouts and treats his cell phone like fort Knox, something is up. If there is nothing suspicious then he wouldn't care if you saw his phone numbers.

  • Jenn

    Yes, the lack of remorse if what bothers me. It seems to be a common theme to claim they just called and didn't do anything. I found cell calls where he was chatting via text message for 20 minutes with a prostitute even thought the pro's ad says she does not accept texts. So what does that mean? Is he a regular she makes an exception for? I also found several late night calls that trace to greek restaurants in Astoria. Greek is his favorite food so is he taking the whores out to dinner? He hasn't taken me out to dinner in 5 years because he claims he's broke. Any time I point out his inconsistencies and the fact that his excuses don't make any logical sense he becomes hostile and screams at me to just get over it. He told me 3 days ago the calls are over with and he is going to focus on his family from now on, then I checked his cell which he keeps oddly leaving in his car and guess what? Another call to a whore. I hate this man.

  • Jenn

    Betrayed I feel your pain. I spent 2 decades of my life with my man and for what? The last 14 of which were sexless because he claimed he was impotent. I lived like a nun all this time while he was picking up whores off craigslist, backpage and various escort sites. I logged into his email account and found acceptance email for XXX web cam this and that and escort sites and then I found cell records that showed hundreds of calls to prostitutes, strip clubs, peeps shows and restaurants I have never been to. One really strange thing is that his cell records show him calling his own number and staying on the phone for ten minutes. Why would he call himself? What's the scam here ladies? Also, have any of you gotten the whores to admit what he did? As long as my only proof is cell records he just keeps claiming all he did was make phone calls and I can't prove otherwise so as usual he has the upper hand. How can I get actual proof of sex so I can confront him and make him confess? I feel I am owed the truth, it's insulting to be lied to like I am stupid.

  • Jenn

    Annette, based on my own experience I would say it has been going on for a lot longer than you think. When I found his cell calls on his phone he told me it was recent, something he just started doing within the last month but when I logged onto his cell carrier's site and downloaded two year's worth of records it was clear this had been going on for years. Although I only have two years worth of records I am convinced it went on even longer because these cell records made me remember things I had forgotten about like when I would get up in the middle of the night and find the bedroom door locked with the computer light shining under the door. And how his cookies where always erased. And how one day he put on a suit to supposedly go to the IRS on his day off. Who does that? Not to mention finding "adultfriendfinder" cookies on the computer since 1997. He always told me that those cookies just showed up when he looked at porn and he never went to that site. Bullcrap. These men IMO have serious character flaws and that doesn't just show up overnight. He has probably been doing this since he has known you. I'm sorry if that is causing you pain dear, it's just the truth. He probably did this to every woman before you too. It's not you, it's HIM.

  • Jenn

    JanB can I email you? I am going through the same thing and I would love to chat. I am so lonely and hurt and have no one to turn to. I just found this out a week ago and I am an emotional wreck over it. I feel like a complete crazy person. One minute I block it out of my mind, next minute I feel like I want to hit him, next minute I am crying for no reason, drinking too much, thinking about suicide ect. I don't know how much more I can take.

  • jenn

    Hi evelyn, I am thinking about starting a message board for women like us so we can get more in depth about this and help each other through the trauma of it all. What do you think? Should I do it? Proboards are free and you can all create throw away email addresses to keep yourselves private. It will be sort of like a support group, do you guys have any interest?

  • jenn

    What's his family situation? That will tell you a lot. My partner's family is totally dysfunctional. His mother is a neurotic control freak and his father was a total narcissist with a gambling problem. I'm not a psychiatrist but from what I can gather it's some kind of impulse control problem that stems from childhood. I pity him because I think he is mentally ill. I don't know whether he is a narcissist, a sociopath or bipolar but something is definitely wrong with him. These men are the problem not YOU.

  • Maggie the Nurse

    This is crazy ladies

  • Maggie the nurse

    I just found out a month ago my husband has a regular whore for the past two years named Alex. I found her posts all over,now I know her real name. I want to kill her and rip her hair out. I called her and tracked her cell phone number down to her address,all I wanted was information about my husband and what he did with her. She won't gve me anything and has filed a restraning order on my. I went to her home and followed her to her school she is a UCLA student full time and moon lights as a trashy filthy slut whose face I would love to smash in with a tire iron. I can't believe she blew me off when all I wanted was answers. I had to see her face to face and that was a mistake because since then all I've done is obsesss about her and what she did with my husband. I'm 57 and about 40 lbs over weight. She's a 32 year old whore with a beautiful body and fake boobs with long red hair. My husband has always loves redheads.

  • Maggie the Nurse

    Vengenace has haunted me and I'm thinking of having someone slice her face and rape her.She's a whore so you can't rape a whore right? She's use to it I'm sure. Please give me some insight if this would be logical and okay to even the score. If she was some ugly crack whore skank I would feel sorry for her but she's not she is intelligent enough to keep her trashy legs closed to married men. Trudy FU. I will kill her and I don't care. I could spend hours torturing her and watching her suffer terrible pain

  • Maggir the Nurse

    Who here wants to start a support group to harrass whores/Prostitutes etc? Wives against Hookers who spread their filthy little legs to pleasure our husbands. Tell your revenge fantasy about thwe whore

  • Maggir the Nurse

    Jenn,read my post below lets torture the prsotitutes. WIVES AGAINST PROSTITUTES

  • Maggir the Nurse

    How else canI get back at her. I don't want to end up in jail but the fabtasies are off the charts!

  • http://www.filthylucre.com Ed Shull

    Maggie, first you have to chill out a bit. No one doubts that you’re upset, but I think your anger should be more at your husband. If it wasn’t this girl, it would have been someone else. Harming this woman will not make your husband less of a pig.

    Now if you wanted to hurt a prostitute, you should focus on their income. Many men, maybe even your husband, check reviews for prostitutes at websites like TheEroticReview.Net, or BigDoggie. If you look for “escort reviews” in Google, you’ll find a few places to check out. If you’re husband, or any other person, had a bad experience with an escort, then this would be the place to post that info. A few bad reviews can drive an escort out of business. Obviously you want to make sure these are not false reviews. Just encourage people who have had a bad experience with the woman to post their review on the websites.

  • Maggie

    Okay you're right Ed. My husband called her and is a pig! He's no longer living with me and I'm thinking of a divorce but what is her part in this? Isn't she just as guilty? Wjy should she have a normal life now after having my husbands dick in her? I followed her one day. She just goes about a normal life and takes classes at UCLA,goes and picks up dry cleaning,goes to a yoga class etc… do people n her life know she was "a part" of ruining a life? I will have someone write some reviews of her and how do you feel about me contacting her family and friwends and telling them she does this to make ends meet? I would do it like a concerned friend,after all isn't she puttig her life in jeapardy? Let me know what you think. Thank you for your honestly.

  • Maggie

    I hope I didn't appear crazy. I'm just so jealous and angry I'm having a hard time dealing with this. Perhaps she doesn't deserve all this back lash and I regret seeing her

  • http://www.filthylucre.com Ed Shull

    I don’t think contacting people in her life is really going to make you feel any better. Right now you have done nothing to be ashamed of; why not keep it that way? The high road is lonely, but it feels better in the end. Hopefully you can at least take your husband to the cleaners.

  • a betrayed wife

    Maggie, I’m so sorry your having a hard time with this. I think Ed has given Ed has said some profound things. Don’t do anything that can get you in trouble really she’s not worth it

  • Sharonsaysnomore

    Sandy,Maggie and Jen I feel your pain,boy do I feel it! and every bit of it!

    Maggie I agree with the advice here for you. I'm so sorry .my husband has been seeing hookers on and off for two years. I went through a phase the first time were I left two messages on her voice mail calling her everything but a woman of god. I was so hurt too and wanted so bad to keep the marriage going she was the easiest target but then it hit me like Ed said. She was a one of many and calling her every name or judging her life style c hoice wasn't going to make me feel better or my husband less of a sex addicted pig.

  • sharonsaysnomore

    I'm now going through the divorce after finding him in the sheets with a hooker in our bed. I'm not kidding. Over the past two years he also had a "regular" affair with a dentist so she was a educated whore.Really in my opinion being a woman whose husband has slept with many woman I'm not sure it makes much differance if she's a hooker or a secretary but if one in my opinion has to chose between the two less evils

  • sharonsaysnomore

    I found the hooker in the end to be less painful to deal with because she was a transation and the dentist had a deep love and emotional afair with him. This is just all my own realizations from my experience.
    Two months ago I walked in on the pig and the hooker flew out of bed. I screamed at him and I had a feeling she was a prostitute by this time I was SO DONE on every level with this and was emotinaly and spiritualy spent. I asked her if she was a prostitute,she said yes, I asked her if she got paid,she said yes and I said get your clothes on and get the fuck out of here now! and she was gone and twenty miuntes later so was my husband with a suitcase full of clothes! I will never let him or any other man put me through those changes and losing it ,don't let his crazy disfuntional behavior take yu there and make you less than the fabulous woman you are.

  • Jeff

    Comparing yourselves to men makes no sense. You say if the situation was reversed what would they do… but most women don't have the sexual urge/lust that men do, even if you cheat on your husband how many guys have you cheated on him with, 2 or 3 at most? While it's not uncommon to see guys cheat with 10-20 or more of different woman.

    Because when YOU do it you actually develop feelings for the guys you're cheating with, you don't just have sex with anyone that looks good, while for men the whores mean nothing, they just have sex with them because they look good. So it's not fair to compare woman cheating vs men cheating. A man SHOULD be more pissed off if you cheat on him because he knows you only screw people you actually like, while men will do anyone, even if they hate them, as long as they look good.

  • http://www.filthylucre.com Ed Shull

    Jeff, I’m not sure why you would post this. Regardless of the urges a man has, the impact to the spouse of someone cheating is the same. It leaves the other person feeling that they are unworthy in someway. And the lies that come with the cheating are not any less severe simply because guys get horny.

    I agree that guys cheat for different reasons. And I even agree with you that when women cheat it is much more about the relationship. When guys cheat, it’s often just because they have an urge to, or they have the opportunity. And hopefully sharing this with these women will help take away some of the sting. But to suggest men as less accountable for their actions is just wrong.

  • maya

    Thanks for your reply, jenn. His mother is a control freak, a woman who proudly tells people that she's been diagnosed as OCD with anxiety disorder. Things have to be done her way or she drains every bit of enjoyment out of them. No wonder my husband's father travels extensively for work, even though he could have a job that keeps him near home. I've found more evidence…a LOT more evidence, and am kicking myself for not having the courage to confront him.

  • p.o.'d wife

    My husband has been seeing prostitutes for at least 2 years. We were supposed to be working things out and blah blah blah, but I recently found out he has had one in OUR HOME the day after my birthday. We have a 5 year old daughter and he brought a, clearly not all there, woman into our house. I've even seen the emails and texts he sends claiming he doesn't like to use his credit card and asking these ladies if they do rim jobs and coming in the mouth (of course they do, they're whores)

    I want to get revenge and revenge I will have. He is an immigrant and looking to get citizenship. Good luck with that . Can I legally post his name and number on here? I would LOVE to.

  • sued by the hooker

    Reading these stories makes me laugh and cry. I was just put the dam ringer by my husband with these whores. I like Maggie knew of one he had seen. You can't believe the shit I unraveled.I live in North Carolina and can sue for alienation of affection so I tried to sue the prostitute. I'm telling you some of these women are so frikkin bizarre. This one had some kind of moral marriage code.

  • sued by the hooker

    I found out my husband had seen one here in our city off and on for six months. He saw her three times witin that period.He invited her into our home all three times in OUR bed also,after he admitted he had seen her. I hired a PI and he found out who she was. I was filing for divorce at this point also. My husband apologized and wanted to work it out.So I dropped that but still wanted blood fom the whore so I began to sue her for alienation of affection. She jumped right on this and her lawyer slammed my attorney with tons of emails sent from our computer and his email account that he wasn't married and his wife died of cancer three years ago…THAT SON OF A BITCH! She also supplied my attorney with printed out texts with him telling her "Don't worry this is my house and no other women live here anymore" The reason for these comments was in the emails above she had asked him "If you want me to see you at your house ,you can't be married or have a girlfriend. I feel like shit doing this to another woman so you have to be single" LMAO The hooker with a heart of gold? I wish to hell they all had this rule then that would save some marriages.

  • sued by the hooker

    She spent a grand total of $600 to get her defense case started before we dropped it because we ofcourse had no reason to sue her now so because she shelled out $600 she had the nerve to take me to small claims court and get it back. She won. I was shocked. The judge was female. She lectured her about the danger of that job abd to stop,she also had all the emails with her and said there was no reason she should be sued when she had asked him before hand. The judge agreed with her and I had to give her $600. She apparently is done doing it. I googled her real name and she is on all sorts ofactivities and a deans list at a university. Why the fuck do women do this? I can see uneducated crack whores but what about academicly smart ones and with some life going on? No common sense.

  • http://www.filthylucre.com Ed Shull

    Thanks for sharing that with us. At the risk of getting everyone pissed at me, I have to side with the hooker on this one. Why should she be out any legal fees when the husband was lying? I assume that since you worked it out with the husband, he helped pay the fees? I would say he’s lucky she didn’t sue for other damages since he directly lied to her. However lose the arrangement, it was an agreement between two people that involved money.

    How long ago was this?

  • TrudyKay

    At the risk of being hated even more than Ed I agree with Ed and as a wife who was cheated on with hookers I even agree with the hookers course of action. Alienation of affection against a prostitute? Give me a break! I can see the mistress who comes and literaly steals him out of your house,home,away from your kids and starts a life with him but a hooker? She didn’t ruin anyones home ,my husbands wandering weiner did and so did yours

  • TrudyKay

    In a buisness were those women are usually victims anyways I'm glad she had the courage to take a stand against a bully wife misdirecting her frustration.

  • TrudyKay

    get your head examined you psyco!!

  • jaded old bird

    Sued by the whore I feel your pain but prostitutes are not even close to home wreckers and should in no way even be considerded for an alienation of affection law suit if thats the case you'd have to track down about 30 your husband slept with for onenight because there's no "exclusive" one. A mistresss comes in and ruins the home by having an emotional affair with your husband ,getting him to leave and leaving you and the kids like this trudy said she actually starts a new life with him. Thats grounds for alienation of affection. I can't believe I'd say this but if I was her I would have gotten my money back also . He frikkin lied and despite her having some scruppples and boundardried on her job she asked him several times and he lied! HE AND ONLY HE is to blame!!

  • Espitzer

    Those are great suggestions. Here's how you counter that:

    1. Never see streetwalkers. That's asking for trouble in so many ways. Escorts are generally more discreet.
    2. Use cash only. When you buy groceries, use ATM, and withdrawal small amounts of cash and save it over time.
    3. Use pre-paid mobile phone (paid with cash, fake name, fake address). Always password lock it. If the phone is discovered, say you found it, throw it away in front of her. Go get new one at Target. Phone should be kept secured at office.
    4. Use web browser option to clean internet cache, history, passwords every time you log off.

  • meatmanlovehookers

    Great advice Espitzer and always find a whore way hotter than your fat ass wife!

  • southernbelle

    Interesting dialoge. I googled alienation of affection and this post came up. I'm a 54 year old woman who also lives in North Carolina. I sued my husbands mistress after 30 years of marriage she left hundreds of nasty phone messages emails and foung my two daughters on facebook and terrorozed them saying horrible stuff like "You're daddy loves me more than your mommy" This is the kind of human trash you sue for alienation of affection. Yes he made the choice and left with her in the end and she ended up leaving him. For a year she weraked havoc on outr family. I got a testarining order on her and sued her ass for $400,000. These are the kind of females you go after and they aren't any better than a hooker,as a matter of fact the husband pursues the prostitute relentlessly and she has NO emotinal attachment and is a transation. I wouldn't even think of sueing a prostitute for this,as a matter of fact I have more compassion for these women. These womens lives couldn't be any worse! I would have rather have had my husband bang a prostitiute one or twice than be with a "mistress" those women are the "REAL" homewreckers!

  • kate

    from now on i am going to charge my cheating partner $300 – $500 for sex, $200 / wk to clean the house, $250 to cook meals, $100 administration costs. From now on this is a business transaction, just how he likes it. I am going to bleed this ar$@hole dry… and save my money to leave him

  • Jess "confused"

    I feel so bad reading all of the posts and I am ready to get some advice on some of the issues I am having. I have been with my fiance for three years. I moved from Texas to be with him in Chicago. I recently found out that he has been seeing TRANSEXUAL hookers that use the website eros. This was a huge shock to me and yes, I am still with him. Because of the nature of my discovery I am so upset and confused. I am faced with the issues of trust, infidelity, and homosexuality. I have found a way to check his phone records and I have actually convinced some of these male transexual hookers to help me out. They have even given me info to find their profiles so I can see "what my man is attracted to besides me." This has become such a crazy experience and I am unsure what to do. I have also found web history that includes tranny porn. He tells me he has a strange fetish but would never be attracted to a man. The thing is sex with a tranny is gay sex and that is that. To all of you women out there, I have discovered that there is a way for men to hide their cell history by rerouting their incoming and outgoing calls by using a random number. When I called these numbers back they ring and then disconnect. There are so many ways out there for me to hide their secrets very well. Should I ever trust my man again? Your thoughts are greatly appreciated!

  • Jess "confused"

    Those are all very clever ways to hide behavior but someday and somehow everyone gets caught. If by some chance they don't get caught most men will often feel so much guilt inside that they are actually hurting themselves in the end. Everyone slips sometimes! Most cheaters act on impulse and that leaves very little time for slow "cash backs" while shopping. Also they have so many ways to catch a cheating spouse.
    1. Computer spy software "Viper"
    2. Voice recorders that record voice for 20 hours and even write
    3. Private investigators
    4. Hidden cameras

    If those don't get cheaters caught, their slip-ups will. There is always a lie or mistake made that gets cheaters caught. Plus if someone cheats and they aren't caught by their spouse for cheating the relationship is doomed anyways because your spouse will feel the lack of attention and sexual affection and wake up eventually!

  • Logan

    LOL Sounds like a good idea for all of us to start doint that

  • Concerned Citizen

    I am a man who feels horrible about what prostitution has done to the lives of many. The internet has opened up prostitution to the masses like nothing we have seen before. A man can now browse through hundreds if not thousands of solicitations from hookers right from the comfort of his home or office. He can also read reviews from other people who have visited specific whores to see what types of services she will provide for his donation. Within an hour or less he can be cheating on you with the hooker of his choice. It's so incredibly easy and empowering it's scary, and ultimately extremely addictive. Prostitution is spiraling out of control and more women than ever are now availing themselves as sex workers on sites like craigslist and backpage because even an uneducated high high school drop out can now make $1000+/day and pay no taxes on their earnings. Even doctors cannot make that kind of income.

    This is not about hookers wanting to take your husband from you, this is about women making a lot of fast money. For men it's about the ability to feed their need for instant sexual gratification with different women. Twenty years ago, men would simply fantasize about a women in their mind and it would typically end there. If a man was feeling really brave he could drive to a shady part of town and pick up a street walker. But the risks involved in that were usually high enough that it kept most men at bay. Now with a few click of a mouse, a cell phone, and ATM card they can act out their sexual fantasies on demand.

    I don't know where all this is headed, but any whore will tell you that she can easily see an average of five to ten married men everyday. Multiply that by the amount of whores advertising on internet sites (1000+ everyday per major city) and that's about 100,000 cheating men on average everyday. Probably closer to the millions every week. It's a huge problem that everyone is ignoring. All this is happening right under the noses of many many women who have no clue.

  • women for women

    I read all these posts and find them all sad,and interesting. I worked as an a escort for 12 years and now help women get out of that buisness. I started out stripping as a dancer at a club in Vegas and went to escorting. I've been out of that industry for 10 years.
    I can tell you to some of these women escorts DO NOT fall in love with their customers NOR are they trying to steal husbands away,like the poster above says it's ALL about the money.

  • women for women

    Never once in my line of work did I contact a guy and hold a gun to his head to make him see me. I was always contaced by them!! Escorts don't ruin marriages the men seak them out because there might be something lacking in their marriage OR simply put it's far from that and they just have sex addictions.
    In the program were we help women out of that work we also have a program for men who use them. People have this illusion in their heads it's as simple as them just not being lazy and finding a" real job".trust me it can be alot more complicated than that and as painful as it is to hear it's NOT personal on the wives if the men have addiction,they simply have an illness and the wife did nothing wrong. When you really come to this realization the liberation sets in and the anger ,blame and judgement for all parties goes away because you 'll know it's not about you!

  • Evelyn

    To all the women who have discovered your man's double life:
    First of all I am 24 years old, very attractive with a heart of gold and a brain… I would love to share my story with you. If you go back to the older posts under Evelyn it will say it all. Anyways even after Ed told me to leave this asshole, i stayed. He confessed told me he was sorry and that he was a "sex addict". I honestly should have left his ass at this point as i felt inside when he was explaining himself that he had just googled the term and regurgitated it to me. He gave me all his passwords, shut down his secret email accounts and gave me acces to his bank account and claimed he was going to get counselling…..yeah right. I also requested that until i felt less sick about being intimate with him, he had to pay me $500 a day if we were going to have sex and $300 if he was just spending time with me no sex. I know some may be thinking what the F**K…but I did this only to try and phase out the addictive behaviour (if it was true), recourse his focus from the whores and onto only me offcourse take advantage of my new found power.. Ladies he payed me once then started complaining about how much money it was, and all sorts of bullshit. I couldn't believe that it was too much money to spend on me but a whore was different. I finally realised there was no point and i got rid of him…This guy was just a jerk who wanted to fuck around on me, perhaps he got a thrill out of the whole thing, but i will never know. After some counselling i realised it NEVER has anything to do with us it is them and their sick fantasies and sick minds. It is about their search for control, their inability to give and complexities they have developed to cope from a young age that they havn't dealt with as an adult. With his confession he had told me this bahaviour had been going off and on since he was 22, he was now turning 35. I mean if this wasn't a red flag in itself then i dont know what is.

    Don't blame the whores, this guys had formed a habitual behaviour that he could now not deal with, in my case i knew he had some fetishes and i believe that what he had opened up with me was only a scratch on the surface, what he was really urging and doing was with the Whores and thats why he went there. this void that he felt he could only fill through sexual gratification was his problem and that is the first problem he needed to deal with before he coulf pass this phase in his life. The whores where only a quick fix that's why they don't have an affair or an emotional relationship. There is more to their problem than you think and the unfortunate thing is you can't help them unless you want to destroy yourself in the process. From monitoring his bank account and asking questions about suspicious activity i got alot of defensive and dismissive responses, and i knew that he was up to no good again. This killed me inside but i still stayed and listened to the lies. The guys was a compulsive liar…and that was definately the hardest thing to deal with.

  • Evelyn

    don't trust him, my asshole boyfriend of 4 years was seeking out tannies aswel, yet he said he wasn't gay and yeah he may not be. The only conlusion i found once i got into his underworld and checked out his porn, i realised he liked sodomy. I asked him time and time again your into anal more than norman and he would always say no..no not more than the real deal…sorry to be graphic, but i figured men who like trannies like them cus lets face it some are gorgeous, but where is he gonna stick his member….there you go. For a female escort to do this she would charge extra's ontop of his already high fee so seeing a decent looking tranny will cost him less. LEAVE AND LEAVE NOW…!!!! Your only engaged don't make it a divorce with kids.. I also found it hard after 4 years but the lies will only get worse. I have been through this and boy am i glad i got out…after the shock of discovering his slutty ways i think the love ripped right out of me…i only tried to keep loving him but i was also disillusioned.. You will never trust him again and this behaviour will only get worse because your letting him… I repeat LEAVE NOW…!!

  • bravo to Evelyn!

    Evelyn,

    Age had NOTHING to do with maturity. You're about the youngest one on here and the most logical rational one. You've gained wisdom without being bitter and directed your anger to the proper source. You'll excell in life and find someone who is exclusive to you with his heart soul and body!

  • melanie

    I just caught my husband and i feel the way you feel but I am confused I have been married for 12 years 3 children beautiful and i am not sooo ugly I dont know my life is not here anymore.
    EMail me

  • dolphinlover

    I have been in the same vote as everyone else here. My boyfriend is married and his divorce is finally going through. He has called escorts numerous times and I have conforted him every time. I don't know what to do anymore. Seems like its a road that is never gonna come to an end. He knows that it is wrong. But what I don't understand is why the hell is he calling in the first place? He says that he is happy with me. I am the love of his life. He wants to be with me for the rest of his life. But why put our relationship at jeopardy? I am not the one to chase someone and call them every minute to see what they are doing. But lately, I have. I am beside myself. :( (he chased me down for a full year to date him and when I finally gave in, I had no idea that I had to face this dark side of him).

  • a friend

    PLEASE DO NOT HURT YOURSELF. HE IS truely the messed up one-not you. If you have faith God will show you a way out. Seek a caring pastor or counselor and just take care of YOU. No man is worth suicide… I know I am being verbally and emotionally abused but fear homeslessness too. i now have learned to journal, to walk away from my partners lies. I know there is a loving God. Go and find a safe haven. Be good ato yourself. He does what my partner does. I have a two year old baby with a greedy man who refuses to marry me becuse of his extreme selfishness and greed. These men always get their own one day. I know I am not to blame for his crazyness and meanness. i just love my baby and am now seeking counseling because I too have let him make me feel real bad. My heart goes out to you. God Bless You. A friend

  • mother of two

    I'm glad you're out of that. My husband cheated with prostitutes for years and also had affairs . I know that nobody ever held a gun to his head but he was to weak to resist the temptation which ofcourse is his own fault.

  • Susie Smith

    After 41 years of marriage, I recently discovered that my husband has been picking up hookers off the street for blow jobs etc for years. The asshole is useless in bed and has been from the start. I have always suspected that he was cheating, but he always denied it. He even went as far as convincing me and my therapist that I was delusional about it. He is a 67 yr old retired teacher and possibly into little boys as well as big ones. However, one hooker whom he refused to pay let him have it right in the kisser! Good for you little girl! He told me he was mugged. I discovered the truth after reading a police report on line. I threw him out, with the help of police and my son. He is now living in a welfare apt and has been shuned by his son and daughter. I feel nothing but contempt for him – a man that I nursed thu cancer and heart disease. I am seperated from him and am having trouble dealing with the rage I feel towards him. I am 63 and wasted my life on a common animal who lives in Halifax,n.s.Canada. He thretened to jump off a bridge when I wouldn't take him back. Of course he was bluffing -he doesn't have the balls!

  • Another Woman

    I stumbled on this page not by accident. I am one of so called "Whores" .

    Everyday woman, without drug or alcohol problems, not pimped out, not set out on wrecking homes and definitely not pursuing married men.

    For 7 years I was married, 6 of them rather happily. Last year my ex husband developed ED issues which he was ashamed to tell me about and blamed lack of sex on me not being attractive.

    I took emotional abuse for a year , then packed up and left. I literally walked away from the business we built together. He confessed that he was taking medication that caused him impotence and begged me to return. I could not. Not after I was humiliated as a woman. Then he proceeded to bully me into coming back by suing for alimony.

    I helped him built 1.5 million dollar biz, but on paper he was working there part time and getting minimum wage. All stocks were secretly transferred into his friends/family names. I, on another hand, had white collar job and was "bread winner" of the family.

    Took me 3 years and a lot of harrassment from him to get my freedom.

    Once single, I started dating and several times I would go out with men, hear their stories on how they are looking for soulmate etc etc etc only to discover by accident that they were married!

    I was practically living with one when I discovered that he had a wife and 2 children in another country.

    So two years ago, when I had to take huge salary cut, I decided to try becoming an escort. Why? Because the only thing men look for these days is NSA, booty calls, Fuck buddies etc

    They don't want commitment and responsibility. And if they want their precious freedom, then they better pay for it!

    Since I have a job, I only see men in the evenings and on weekends. I also won't see anyone at my home. They have to be able to have company at theirs. As result, absolute majority of men I see I are single.

    Here is funny thing that I discovered. Once you make them jump trough the hoops and charge for it, they treat you like gold. When you support them in everything they do, they shit on you.

    Are there instances when a married guy "sneaks in"? Sure. That;s probably same guy who goes out to bars on Thursday nights and keeps his ring in his pocket. Same guy who while on business trips always claims that he is single. Same guy who goes to sites like Ashley Madison and tells everyone who will listen that his wife does not understand him I have no respect for these guys.

    STDs. I often talk to my single friends who are dating and stories they tell me are shocking! They feel they have to be "good girls" and having condom with them or asking man for one is sign that they are "whores".

    Well, if any man I see tries to go for unsafe sex, his ass is out and his name will be plastered on all discussion boards escorts use for safety. Same goes for any verbal or physical abuse.

    If a guy wants to see me, he has to give me his name, last name, address, work info. So should he even THINK of anything he knows I have all his information. And believe me, they are only brave when they think you don't know how to find them.

    How many men I see? Usually it is 3 or 4 guys a month. Some see me once a month, some see me once a week, some for a weekend. If I stop seeing one, I "accept" another.

    Now, am I the norm? No. There are girls who will see anything that walks into door and do 10 "dates" a day, 7 days a week. There are pimped girls, young and forced into prostitution, girls on drugs and thiefs. For them it is a life. For me, it is business. No matter how handsome,smart or funny guy thinks he is, he either has to make a commitment or pay for it.

    When they ask if we can see each other "off the clock" ie for free I always give them a choice. They can stop paying if they are willing to be faithful and committed to me. If they are ready to replace paid companion who is there to feed their ego with GF and potential mate who will demand respect and undivided attention. Funny how all of them prefer to pay.

    Will I ever get married again? If I meet someone who is not afraid to be a MAN.

    Just remember Ladies there are three sides to every story. His side, her side, and the truth.

  • justine

    Another woman you;re better than that ,as a woman myself stop selling your precious body! I don't judge and even had my husband use prostitutes for years,none of them ruined my marrigae he did!

    I'm so sorry about the misfortunes of your marriage,we all have them. There are so many other things you can do. Don't send me a nasty defensive post back. You know the truth of you being better. STOP THAT SHIT NOW! as a mother who does energy work and a yoga instructor I can tell you selling your precious body is SOUL DESTROYING and not worth any money! We can all justify it until we're blue in the face with lame examples of this or that but in the end you're kidding yourself! Get motivated to develop another skill or respark a passion you can make money at. No matter how safe you try to be doing that,it's as dangerous as hell!

  • Justine

    also! Rise above this shit! Don't let the misfortunes of your marriage and bad experiences with men make YOU lower yourself….Become better and work on yourself so you don't attract this so called guy you say is the only thing that exists,basically your letting those past experiences bring you to your lowest life condition.BE STRONGER and more optimistic. Life is 10% odf what happens and 90 % of how we handle it!

  • justine

    the guys you charge are treating you like gold for the hour or however long they buy your time,please don't tell yourself lies that men have more respect for you if you see them as a prostitute!

  • OMG,LMAO!!

    Another woman,

    I couldn't agree more with what Justine said,so every woman who's been burned by shitty men should just go out and throw their scrupples away and sell their bodies? You sould as jadded ashell and what a counter productive logic you have! Are you really saying men respect a hooker more? You're a twisted soul!

  • OMG,LMAO!!

    Oh yes Another woman you sound like such a classy hooker with boundaries,that just makes all the difference in the world! ! We all have so much respect for you now that you make sure your safe,use protection and don't let them do anything unpleasant. Reality check,that may not be in your control one day if you bump into a psycho sweetheart. How naive of you! Then it's be to late to ask yourself of it was worth self deprecating yourself while your lying in the morgue with a toe tag dangling from your foot.

    Honestly the world is dangerous enough,stop your diluted rationalizations!

    Seriously,you're not punishing the men who jaded and disappointed you or any men in general,your punishing yourself! You should stop that now!

  • WhoreofAmerica

    You people are horrible and deserve to be cheated on!

  • Jadedwife

    I think you have a lot of guts to write your experiences as an escort. It puts it into perspective for wives like me who have been jaded by mistresses or hookers. My husband was one of the ones who "snuck in" saying he was single. It took me a long time to realize it was him and not the other woman who I should be mad at. THank you for your insight into your world. God Bless.

  • Jadedwife

    You didnt really take the time to understand her point of view. I have been hurt just like all of you but I had the integrity to actually listen and understand her point of view. Being an escort probably isnt the safest job in the world but its not their fault their husbands decided to go out and cheat.

  • Jadedwife

    I too am dealing with a man I thought was wonderful who also has a "dark side". They only change if they realize they have a problem, and only IF they get help. I currently live with my husband still who has actually been nicer over the holidays but I am waiting for HYDE to come out. That will be fun. The only thing I can say is dont blame yourself and separate your feelings about yourself from his actions. He says it has to do with you, but its all about him. I hope this helps.

  • realitycheck

    some of you women have stories that hurt my heart,some of you are inpirations and make me proud to have you as a sister if womanhood however some of you sound totaly nuts and I can see why your husbands cheat!

  • pissed off wife

    I never thought anything until my husband left his phone on counter and went to work out.He always had a password on but this time i could see the phone wasnt locked,Lets just say it didnt take long to find text messages from multiple numbers that were extremely explicit.I decided to a search on the numbers,most of them came up anonamous but was able to find one that matched 954 899 5683 or ironically 954 899 love.I come to find out this hooker has been getting cash from my husband for a long time and playing him while he was playing me.I am glad i can vent on this site although i have been helping to make her life a living hell like mine.I found out her identity julia m rabolli a realtor by day i suppose and a hooker whenever some asshole pays her to suck or f…. or god only knows what.Anyways i find out shes a nova student and payed a p.i. to watch my asshole husband and her.lets just say her school,her work,her family and anyone i can find knows who she really is now and my husband has his coming also.Im gonna hit him where it really counts,his wallet.p.s. for any other wives out there the irs loves to know about these prostitutes and getting cash without reporting it.

  • Larry

    POW I'm so sorry about this,way to go with posting just HER name and number and while admitting you're angry and mad at him we really know who the real monster is right? The whore!
    You do know we men just laugh at you women when you do this and feel a sense of relief when your stupid enough to just post her name?LOL Thank you for being dumb enough to direct "MOST" of the anger to her! How dare she tempt your husband into calling her and she probably held a gun to his head while she sucked him off…even though your evolved enough to put SOME of the blame on him it mostly goes to her right?

  • Larry

    That's why we won;t post any info about him right? Just her. Honestly when are you women going to start directing your REAL anger to the proper source and don't come back on here trying to tell us you're blaming him just as much,other wise you wold have posted his information too.It's so safe to blame the whore that yo know nothing about and it's so easy to judge someone else's life when your husband initiated it,seriously ladies if you post her info POST HIS TOO!!
    Hope you get some therapy,vindictive behavior is only TEMPORARILY satisfying and leaves you depleted in the end

  • Larry

    POW I'm so sorry about this,way to go with posting just her name and number and while admitting you're angry and mad at him we really know who the real monster is right? The whore!

    You do know we men just laugh at you women when you do this and feel a sensew of relief when your stupid enough to jst post her name?LOL Thank you for being dmb enough to direct "MOST" of the anger to her!

    How dare she tempt your husband into calling her and she probably held a gun to his head while she sucked him off…even though your evolved enough to put SOME of the blame on him it mostly goes to her right?

  • Justine

    My husband did the same thing POW but becareful who you blame,most women that get into that are forced and human trafficking…it's pigs like your husband and mine to seek them out. I would leave her alone,becase your hubby is a pig your going to ruin her life even more,maybe she's trying hard as hell to get out of that and is working as a realestate agent,seriously telling her friends and family isn't going to make you feel that much better,they may already know and if they really love her they won't jdge her but see you as the nut job! .

  • Justine

    f No one doubts that you're upset, but I think your anger should be more at your husband. If it wasn't this girl, it would have been someone else. Harming this woman will not make your husband less of a pig

  • Justine

    you sound like a pig Larry!

  • BE PISSed AT HUBBY!

    I think alot of these women who are trashing the hookers and posting their numbers are ignorant trash themsevles,ALOT of those women are victims and forced into that, What a bunch of battle axes misdirecting your anger..BLAME YOUR HUSBANDS!!!! The I R S? thats the least of those ladies problems,alot of them end up in prison or dead. Seriously some of you have some misguided hatred for the wrong party!

  • leslie

    i can relate. my husband devastated me when I found out he cheated on me with an escort he found at http://secretsojourn.com

    i couldn’t believe he would do that to the family. wasting $200 for an hour with an escort he could have spent on the family.

  • Lajath

    I'm so sorry you went through this/ are going through this. I feel your rage. It is a really sad story. It truly sounds like your husband was/is mentally ill… not that this would negate anything he's done to you/ your family. It seems like an almost psychotic narcissism. Not even a "common animal" would behave this destructively. And at his age?? I'm wondering if he had any other issues coinciding with this behavior. Were there drugs or alcohol? Bi-polar signs? Even prescription medications interacting? It really seems so bizarre for a retired 67 year old teacher!

    Also, I'm wondering how you came to find the police report… did he or the hooker file charges against the other?

    By the way, I'm from the same city as you!

  • Lajath

    Your story is important to tell, and I feel compassion for you.

    However, I could argue that you are facilitating the exact behavior that hurt you. Even if these "men" are single (and they likely are not really single, just not living with the partner), you are an integral part of the sick game being played here. You are literally encouraging sex for money.

    It's not your fault that the men you "engage with" have come to prefer sex as business over sex as part of an intimate relationship.

    It's not your fault they might be cheating on their partners, BUT everytime you play that game you are saying -in no uncertain terms- that it's OK to be living this way, for him to be paying you for sex instead of trying to make a relationship work. For you to be a easy thing for his ego; rather than a real person with a mind and spirit worth getting to know and need (and be occasionally tired of, as is all of real life).

    And even worse perhaps, you are telling yourself these things too.

    It's bad energy created and put out there. People get paid, and get what they want in the moment… but that is not an ideal to strive for.

  • Lajath

    Hmmm, can I just point out that he was MARRIED when you got involved?? I understand your pain, and he absolutely sucks, but no person should expect fidelity (or basic good character) from a person who would pursue another women while married.

    You can and should move on, as even from way out here in cyberspace I can tell you he is not going to stop this narcissistic behavior. He will destroy your self esteem if he has not already. You can repair it if you get away. Please get away!

  • Lajath

    I read this and had to respond. I'm so sorry you've had to deal with this. All of your feelings are normal. I just wanted to say that you are not the one who lived a lie. All of your memories are real- because you were honest and your feelings were real. Your life had integrity (all parts integrated) and his did not. Take pride in this. Even your feelings of betrayal right now are real and have integrity. I wish you strength in this time and a healing journey from here.

  • Lajath

    Well said Evelyn!

  • Lajath

    You are very right in that the prostitutes are not "husband stealers". Of course they are selling something to a buyer. Problem is that this "something" for money is assisting a sick man into believing he's "just" a customer, not a cruel cheater. That something is another women- not a "thing".
    I think most women realize that it is indeed "all about the money." However, in some ways that is the problem. It's somewhat like the primal anger a person can feel toward the drug dealer who sells to a loved one "just" something… something which destroys that loved one more and more.

    The anger is not logical, or necessarily productive (unless it's used to better the lives of the "sellers" & getting them away from selling, as you are). But it's a normal anger. It's natural.

    "How dare you make my MY LIFE, MY FAMILY, MY LOVED ONE, a casualty of your business deals! My LIFE is bigger than money! " is the thought process. Of course, the ultimate reality is that a true addict (like a true cheater), will find another dealer.

    The sale of sex, the sale of hard drugs… they both paint a tragic landscape behind the money and seeming ease. A landscape littered with victims.

    I think it's important to remember that of all the victims in the dynamic, the betrayed wife/partner is the only one who can truly come out the hero. Wiser for it all. Integrity intact.

  • Lajath

    This is chilling to consider. I hope and pray that the pendulum will swing. At this rate… I don't want to even think of where we're going as a human culture.

  • Grow up POW

    Againt pissed off wife

    Interesting,hooker or not she still doesn't deserve to be harrassed by a nut case wife misplacing her anger and trying to make someones life as miserable as hers. I'm a laywer and perhaps I'll contact this woman to see if she needs a lawyer against your harrassment,becareful Pissed off wife you could end up in jail with a restraining order! Be an adult POW and own your own miserable life without blaming anyone else for it! Your husbands a whore and thats all

  • yup

    exactly don't lower your standards as a woman because of your bad experiences!

  • Luiw

    Yes and THE HUSBAND made the Choice and seeked out the seller to buy something right? To blame the seller is absolutely insane. The husband is an ADULT and is seeking something out and making the choice!

    "How dare you make my MY LIFE, MY FAMILY, MY LOVED ONE, a casualty of your business" The hooker didn't make your life anything THE HUSBAND MADE THE WIFES LIFE,FAMILY AND WHATEVER ELSE a casualty. In one breath your saying it isn't the fault of the worker and in the next your pretty much saying the jezabell made her poor innocent loved one a "casualty" Nobody forced the cheating pig to make any phone calls and to call him a casualty is making him a victim…GIVE ME A BREAK!!!

  • luiw

    if men kept their pricks in their pants that would be the solution.For hundreds of years women have wanted to be angrier at the woman because it's safer and gives them the opportunity to make it easier to stay with them. Women will continue to act like this. I call it the jerry springer mentality

  • Lajath

    @Luiw:
    I think you missed the intent of my post.

    I purposefully pointed out that everyone involved in the scenario is a victim. Even the John (albeit in less obvious ways), because I believe men loose more than they realize in these situations. But then I'm a believer in eventual Karma ;-) . That said, of course, a man who buys women for sex is flaccid in every aspect of his character. Simple as that. More pitiful than evil.

    I WAS trying to point out the quite natural thought process of a betrayed partner with what I placed in quotations. The post I was responding to stated that its all about money. To the betrayed partner though, "it's not about the money"… and really, to suggest it is just business degrades the profound grief, and human loss she is going though.

    Of course a cheating husband is not the prostitutes fault. Yes, sex-as-business is inherently wrong IMO (sex is too great, too awesome a thing to make a professional trade of), but the man is the one making the choice to put his wife/ family at risk.

  • Lajath

    "the jerry springer mentality "
    I've been known to refer to it this way too! Ha!

    Men who cheat just love this mentality. They use it. Not just with prostitutes but with all women.

    The idea of women getting together and talking, even wishing to protect one another, terrifies men who have something to hide. It works for cheating/lying men to alienate women from one another.

    Think about it:
    -The man seeks out another woman
    -He tells other woman that his wife/partner is crazy/ cold/ bitchy/ unstable, etc…
    -He might make other woman fearful of wife.
    -Wife finds out about other woman, husband lies, often accuses other woman of being crazy/ stalker, etc.
    - Wife tries to contact her to find out the truth
    -If cheating husband has done his prep work, other woman does not want to talk to crazy wife.

    At that, I give BIG kudos to all 'other women', escort or no, who have not fallen for this trickily imposed code of silence, and let the truth fly. Particularly if it might have meant loosing a source of money, or a hope for love.

  • kitty

    OMG Lajath you're so right on. What women don't realize is if they acutally spported eachother and took resposibilty for their part by NOT "having the affair OR turning the trick and trying to do something else that this would destry their chances of getting away with this. I jst wish women didn't have the Jerry Springer mentality with eachother,now I'm NOT refering to the young girls sold into traffiicing and selling their bodies from pimps but theres many out there who claim they enjoy it,like those women on HBO cat house.To me this is disturbing

  • stop it please

    don't be a bitch,for a prostitute to come here and explain the other side or give another perspective is good for the wives to hear..don't ruin it for the rest of us level headed women who want to have dialoge without name calling.

  • idcrisis

    My husband posted reviews of prostitues on TER and the Utopia guide. i stumbled upon them by googling an email id he thought i didnt know existed. I suspected something was off bec he never seemed interested in sex with me. He denies it of course, but out of a thousand million people, i recognise his writing, his choice of words, his phrases, his way of thinking and putting it down in words… and it kills me that he's doing this to me just two years after our wedding. After i confronted him he changed his style of writing for further reviews he posted, its soooo fucking transparent, the sudden change in style by the same poster. I had earlier been jealous of him interacting with his two ex-fiances…. and had thought at the time i'd be ok with him seeing prostitutes but not those two women. Boy, did it come and bite me right in the face. I don't know what to do.

  • idcrisis

    Maya, I'm going through pretty much the same stuff as you… your last sentence really resonates with me. I feel as sad for you as i do for the passing of my now-illusory life. I hope you're holding up fine.

    Its ironic… I'm a dreamer, and my ultra-practical husband's always hated that. and now the only way i can continue is by choosing to live in a dream world and pretend the other stuff hasn't/won't happen…… because he really does love me. And by listening to my brain (though its so so so hard) when it says sex is just like eating peanuts or something equally unimportant, for men. They dont equate it with sharing the most personal intimate part of themselves, showing they love someone with that act.

  • New start

    Hello,

    I recently broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years. I found out that he has a thing for escorts which began prior to meeting me. He claims that this was introduced to him while he was in the military and wishes he never had started. When I first met him I thought he was the perfect man. He was with through my military deployement and when I returned he moved with me to california from texas. I found out about this problem 2 months ago and decided to work through with him however I realize that no matter what you and what memories you hold on to its never going to be the same. My ex was so big on respect and would tell me that he would not cheat since he grew seeing his mom cheated on(she has been married 4 times, 3 out 4 cheated). I realized that somemthing was not right when he became less emotional and not initiating sex. I too am an attractive person and was dumbfounded and shocked to the core after googling the numbers he was calling and texting. These woman were so gross and nasty.

  • New start

    To top it off I was working as a police officer and never saw the signs. I had access to his phone and never did a call or text coming in from one of these escorts. I still can't believe that this happened to me, reading this blog has made me feelt that I am not alone with my feelings. I love him so much and know that he did alot for me, but I have to let him go in order to be happy. I will be 30 in June and I want to be happy, heres to a new begining…

  • Wife and Mother

    Prostitutes are trash. We have all been through difficult times in our life and it does not give us the right to be an accessory to destroy the lives of others. Do take your anger out on them and your husband. They should know what society and real women think of them. It is well deserved.

  • wisedup

    Don't believe it! I was married 20 years to a man about whom I always had terrible suspicions and ample episodes of suspicions or even some good proof that he'd explain away. I loved him, so I would do my best to believe him. If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, it's a duck!!!! Don't stay, pray you're not right. Trust your instincts. Look up "gaslighting." If he's giving you that many reasons to doubt him, YOU SHOULD. I stayed & had 2 kids with this guy, got herpes from him along with several other stds (which he'd always explain away or blame me for.) I passed the herpes on to both kids. He denied/s everything even when confronted w/proof. I used a gps unit and busted him having sex with major deviant freaks, not just ordinary hookers. He is older and definitely NOT the kind of person anyone would believe would do those things. I listened for years to family and friends blaming ME for my suspicions. It's not your imagination. Don't stick your head in the sand.

  • Reality check

    If prostitutes are trash so our are dam husbunds lady and so is the ivy league harvard grad who sleeps with married men! You're husband ruined your marriage. The only differance between a wife and a prostitute is a blessing,it's the same dam job! So the hell what if you would have mad different choices unserd differnet circumstances alot of young women are sold and forced into that then bimbo woemn like you want to direct your anger to the wrong source GROW A BRAIN LADY and just don't marry a cheater next time. Prostitutes are not the problem.that job will exist until the end of time and always will ……you married a sex addicted pig who SEEKED THEM out and so did I,and who are we to decide what "real women are" according to your little moral handbook right" ?

  • Guy

    Reading all of this makes me weep. I’m in a long term relationship. I love my girlfriend. Recently, however, I started to find it hard to finish while we’re having sex. She’s also finding it painful because I take too long. Now, I try less because I don’t want to hurt her. I’m ashamed and frustrated. It doesn’t seem to bother her though, she seems happy just not having sex and doesn’t seem to object in any way. She never mentions anything and never initiates. When I try to make a move, she’s constantly tired or busy. I know that she wants to get married and her friends are telling her that she should give me an ultimatum. Recently, I started looking at porn on the Internet – from what I can see, it’s not an issue with my equipment. I am beginning to see what happens to these guys. Eventually, they just get lazy – porn and other girls are the easy option compared to facing up to their own shortcomings and sexually unintrested wives/girlfriends. Add things like relgious piety and other delusions into the mix and you have a recipe for disaster.

  • Jaded

    he isnt worth it, but i know what you mean about wanting to slice and dice the slut. My husband has been frequenting escort, lesbian and other porn sites for goodness knows how long. I can't prove anything but i am pretty sure he has been there and done that. He has business phone and computer making it hard for me to find evidence. I saw cookies that curled my hair and one for ccbill – DUH wonder what that could be for. I want to punch him out. But, I try to restrain myself from that. It makes you feel pretty betrayed especially since being a mature woman, married 20 years and finding your spouse looks at barely legal sites—-cannot physically compete with that. What is wrong with men?????F–kin up their lives and family's lives?? Personally, when I get the evidence I need, I am getting away from him because he is such a source of pain for me.

  • Jaded

    Hey guys—she hasn't done anything (yet), she is venting because she has been deeply hurt. As long as she vents in writing, it helps her deal with the terrible situation which her whore husband has bestowed upon her. Maggie—-go out and do something nice for yourself—join a gym, work out and lose the 40 lbs. and get Botox—maybe you will feel better about yourself. As for your hubby and his friend, forget them. Seek therapy and move forward.

  • DAH HOOKERS

    Hookers…..get google voice nmbers so livid wives misdirecting their anger can't post numbers you use for other things

  • Disturbing!

    The point is Maggies isn't any better in gods eyes or any moraly better in the end if she wishes rape and torture on already disturbed suffering women!. I'm appauld at how sick some of the people on this board are. My husband went to strip clubs for years and saw one or two women at abrothel in Las Vegas but he's been long gone for awile,seriouslythis is just sick! Most of those women were probably already raped and tortured as little girls. Maggie muder is not less evil than prostitution!!! You should be taken off the streets just like street walkers. You even impose a more dangerosu threat!

  • Disturbing

    Lets start a support group for wackos like you…SICKO! You give grounded stable wives who are trying to deal with this in a healthy constrctive way a bad name!
    The most beneficial for all to deal with this is moving forward and finding a clear path out of a victim role!

  • disturbing

    yes you appeared like a serial killer you nut case!

  • Karen Smith

    I can definitely relate. I found out my husband was seeing prostitutes for atleast 6 years and we've been married for 15 years. We will have to file for Bankruptcy because he was spending hundreds of dollars on prostitutes. I just filed for divorce this week and we have a 13 year old and 6 year old. I have not worked full time in 13 years, so I am going to really have to struggle to make ends meet, so I can sympathize. I know it's hard right now, but in time, things will get easier. I don't think I could ever sleep with my husband again for cheating on me for so many years. Good luck to you.

  • Karen

    I can really relate to everyone. I discovered a secret yahoo e-mail acct. and found out my husband has extremely wierd fetishes with these prostitutes he's been seeing. He saved 100's of e-mails from the past 6 years describing what he wants to do with these hookers. I was disgusted, shocked, and horrified after finding this out since I never even had a clue. He denied everything, but I had proof from his e-mails when he talked about what time he'll meet them, and negotitating one prostitute from $300 to $150. I have now filed for divorce and I have two kids and he's living in a motel. I feel so bad for my kids, but I deserve someone that's honest and decent.

  • Sally

    My husband would not like it if I looked up male escorts, rang them, denied it, said it was just a fantasy, then password protected my computer and deleted phone history, always had loads of cash in wallet but always pays for things with a card…….stopped kissing him and having sex with him but still demanded oral sex from him, only hugged him at night when I needed someone to hold.
    If I got so angry when confronted that I shouted and hit him.

    in fact I'm certain he would asume I didn't love him anymore, that I was paying to have sex with prostitutes and that there was no point in staying – he would leave me pretty quickly.

    That's what we put up with though. It must be unrequited love. If you love someone you don't treat them like that. I wouldn't so there must be men out there that wouldn't.

    And I also wouldn't have sex with a stranger for any amount of money under any circumstances.

    Add to all this we are putting ourselves at risk for death of AIDs because its 6 months before you can be tested for HIV…..why are we still here girls?
    Is it because we secretly hope that the man you married will come back and start loving you again? Was he ever real since he is such a good liar?
    Or is it because we have been groomed into thinking that we can't cope without them.

    You know what? I can't feel any lower about myself and men ask me out all the time…but I'm married…ha ha ha! Funny how we still think we should be faithful.

    I feel low, I feel hurt, I feel physical pain, I feel scared of what I may be infected with, I feel raped….
    how can living without that be worse than this?

    Well when you are threatened with having the company car taken away from you, sacked from your job even though you are a director of his company (he found a legal way to do this) your card stopped
    and him moving out and not paying the mortgage anymore it doesn't seem that easy.

    Instead of lying on your backs and helping married men abuse women, why don't you prostitutes get together and form a company that helps married housewives with kids to leave their cheating husbands. These women don't want to go to a hostel, they want to stay where they are – kick the bloke out and carry on….but we just don't know how because we have been programmed to 'put up and shut up' – yet as you see on here we can't….

  • Sallys wisdom

    Sally,

    The only difference between a wife and a prostitute is a blessing,it's the same dam job!

  • Kathleen

    Sally OMG!!

    I'm so sorry and I feel your pain.I know how you feel I have stayed with Tim after finding out he was using escorts for three years. I lost my job and have two kids. If I left him my world would turn upside down.

    Why are we still here girls is the question. We stay because some of us have to. There's just no light at the end of the tunnell for me.I know he still see's them and I'm working on my uncle hiring me full time as a secretary. Pray for me ladies.

  • kathleen

    One of my daughters may need surgery and I'm not sure if out insurance wil lcover it all so I have to cont on his insurance.It's a mess to tsay the least. I'm really glad their is a site like this.

    I haven't had any encounters with the working girls he sleeps with and wouldn't waste my time calling or googling and posting their numbers like some women do here. I'm too good for that and would rather spend time with my daughters,for me I wouldn't expect anything from them if they had the drive and concern to start a company for us wives they more than likely wouldn't be doing what they're doing because they probably se that energy and man power to get their own lives together FIRST. It's funny how we get tnnell vision as wives ,we talk about them helping men abuse women . They're clearly abused themselves you can't expect to get water from a dry well!I'll keep y'all posted on my status

    I

  • Sally

    Good uck Kathleen, I think that's what I'll do, once we have a job that doesn't depend on our men we may grow our spines back…;)

    Quite frankly it seems as if the prostitutes like to believe the husbands story of how the wives don't have sex with them or perform their deviant ideas a little too much.
    They want to believe that having sex with a married man actually helps a marriage.
    Yet I haven't heard a woman that has been cheated on with a prostitute once say that she has let herself go, stopped having sex or refused to do certain things with her husband.
    Its no different to a cheating man that tells the bit on the side his wife is bad, they don't have sex etc…
    its all lies – the man goes home and probably the first thing he does is bang the wife and gets a kick out of having 2 women in one day.
    No I wouldn't ring these prostitutes because they won't speak to you, their head is firmly in the sand, just like any woman that sleeps with a married man they don't want to know the truth, that you exist, that you want to save your marriage and are a good person, it makes them feel guilty and that's not what they like to feel.
    They are in a fantasy land where they are doing a service to us…they don't care that it hurts other people. I don't care how you put it, these women are in it for the money and you can't blame their upbringing on that.
    That would suggest that only women brought up in poverty become prostitutes – well that doesn't explain why women from good backgrounds become escorts – but money does!
    I remember when my sister was having an affair, she didn't want to know the other wife existed, she hated her, called her names and woudn't even talk to me about her, for 9 years this went on until she saw how my husbands cheating and lying affected me, then she had to see how it affects the good wife, then she woke up and saw that the guy would never leave his wife, was lying about his wife being bad and was probably still having sex with his wife….helloooo…;)

    Yes, these women should be made aware of how they have hurt and affected women that thought they were in a relationship where they could have unprotected sex and make babies with a man they trusted….they should be told….but they should not be asked or begged for help….forget that….don't lower yourself to that level.
    Just make them face the truth often enough and maybe they will also get a backbone and get a job that doesn't make them as dependant on men as we are.

    Yes, we wives are like prostitutes…except we are cleaner and we don't lie to our men.
    We are what single men fantasise about, while they are banging a prostitute.
    The grass is always greener….and a wife is always cleaner boys!

  • Gloria

    This is great dialoge. My husband was addicted to porn for ten years,went to strip clubs,saw prosititutes and spent over $10,000 that I know of. I have been in counseling and still go.We were married for 12 years,and the divorce just went through. We never had children together thank god! I'm starting a new life.

    Ladies leave right away if you ever discover this,they won't change and it's not woth the pain.

  • Gloria

    I feel both ways about the other party,as for the strippers I and a friend went into a strip club he frequented to check it ot while I was still in the insanity phase of trying to save that hopeless marriage. The strippers were'nt any older that 25 and some looked 18. They were little lost girls to me and I couldn't hate them.

    I actually called a prostitute and not because I was being stupid or feel like it's a lesser choice of Kathleens and Sallys BUT because I was pissed and trying to save my marriage and it was just safer to direct my rage onto the stranger and keep my husband safe!

    I

  • Gloria

    I called and said exactly this: "How does it feel to ruin a 12 year marriage sweetheart?" to which she replied.'It's pretty pathetic you blame a stranger for your marriage problems" and hung up. I called back and demanded she talked to me,she said "Thats pointless because theres no right or wrong answer that will help you" and then she blocked my phone number. It was a very challenging time and I thank god I got some help and counseling. The straw that broke the camels back was when he was texting a prostitute the the time I was leaving the next day so she could come over.

  • Sammy

    GRRRRRRRRRR That would piss me off!!! Did you want to kil her? What an arrogant bitch for dsimissing your feelings!

  • mother of 4

    Um Or husbands are the ones who dismiss our feelings dear,as sad as it is hookers don't owe the wife any explanation nor do they have to open places for the abused wives,it's the abused wives responsibilty to get out of the marriage and take some ownership she married the pig. I did this and so should y'all Who's the one who goes trolling? Hookers can't even be honest with themselves so no they are not going to take any ownership here forget about it

  • Ivy

    Justine, with all due respect…. it's really none of your goddamn business what anyone does with their body. Maybe you should focus a little more on yourself than trying to hange others.

  • Ivy

    Word.

  • Justine

    Ivy,are you a prostitute you must be to be that defefensive. My comment is encouraging and positive. Theres about 20 women on here bashing prositutes I find it interesting you happen to pick my particular comment,and yes it is everyones business when the women are marketing some peoples husbands and fathers to sell it too. You have the power to get off your back Ivy and make money on your feet! You can do it girl come on come on….lift one knee in front of the other and soon you be standing on your feet! (crowd applauds in unison with a collective sign of relief)

  • Justine

    get off your back Ivy!

  • Reality Girl

    That sounds exactly like my partner. You seem to have the mold down pat.

  • Reality Girl

    You sound bitter.

    We should be thankful to get "Another Woman" to reveal her side of the story. Don't you want to know? You should not be on this site if you are into attacking other people who post.

    We should support each other no matter our life choices.

    "Another Woman" is only telling the truth as she sees it. I support her.

    What I do not support is the issues relating to betrayal in a supposedly committed relationship. That is the real issue here, not whether you like escorts or think they are wrong to live their lifestyles. Can we get back to the issue and save this for another discussion board?

  • Reality Girl

    I understand your views.

    In addition, we have to take responsibility for our own fiscal well-being. We trap ourselves if we depend on men for our house, food, and over-all happiness. Once our gender accepts personal responsibility for our own welfare, letting go of bad situations will not require blame.

    It is not the fault of the provider of "services". That is like saying Dunkin Donuts is the reason people are obese or have high cholesterol. No one HAS to go into the store. We need to discuss the demand issues, not the supply issues. Supply is provided AFTER there is a demand.

  • Reality Girl

    I may just take your advice.

  • finally

    Thank god theres another intelligent woman out there. I've been cheated on to but am sick of these women acting like a bunch of spineless wimps and letting men off the hook by blaming somone their pig of a husband seeked out.

  • MaryMary

    Does it really matter if the husband cheats with w paid whore or your best friend? Which would be worse? and how do you know your friend is always clean with STD's? Would it be better to have a husband have a one night stand with a nice little dentist and wear no protection or a whore that does? Does any of it matter with who it is? or does it?

    I worked as a stripper first and then fell into prostitution because of the easy fast money,no judgement to other women who do it ever,but I would never recommend it to women if you have a choice. My experience was it took awhile to get out because It made me lazy with the easy fast money plus for me in my experience it was "soul destroying" as I saw someone else use this word on here.It actually is on several levels. I had a hard time with intimacy later in life.
    I wasn't abused as a child but really went off track with no guidance in my twenties and one thing just led to another. I did other professions later like Esthetics and Interior design but because of "hard times" fell back into it. I've been clean AKA out for six years now.

    I

  • MaryMary

    Once a guy called me and the next day after HE invited me to his home off an internet ad.He told me his wife found out and he demanded I talked to her before I could hang up she started foaming at the mouth with all her moral outrage,that I was a whore and her husband was a "really nice guy",also that I (a total stranger) ruined a 30 year married.Then she went on and on about how he now had to go go to his mothers grave site and tell her what he did. REALLY WEIRD. Norman Bates in Psyco came to mind,from as crazy as she sounded I see why he cheats.

  • MaryMary

    Then through out the course of me doing this for a living I had one "friend" who worked as a nurse and fell on hard times so she decided to do it for awhile. She later stopped and must have had some kind of insane covert agression and anger for me about it because she wrote me an anonymous email posing as the wife of a client she said I saw and she was suing me because I gave him herpes then her. That was the weirdest and most bizare when i found out it was her who wrote it to me.

    Two different situations but very interesting. The first is what I like to call the as another party on here called it "Jerry Springer mentality" the husband goes to his computer turns it on like a big boy,looks up my ad,calls me,gives me directions to his house ,seeks me out and I'm required to talk to his wife and take responsiblity for ending his 30 years of marriage the next day,all the while I'm the evil doer who tempted him and he's now the "really nice guy" This is like blaming McDonalds for being fat,nobody makes you go in and buy a quarter pounder with cheese!

  • justawhorelol

    You want your husband’s to stay away from hookers? Here is some advice. Lose the baby weight, get your hair done and by some sexy lingerie. Stop nagging, get a babysitter and cook him a nice dinner. For desert put on your lingerie and give him a good f***. Wake him up with a bbbj every now and then. Initiate sex more often. If this doesn’t work file for divorce or get him in treatment for sex addiction. Oh and please stop stalking us “hookers”. We hate to have to change our names every six months because the crazy wives are obsessed with our every move. Oh and believe it or not most hookers pay taxes. Well at least the smart ones do.

  • http://www.optimizedwebsiteonline.com Cat402

    I have also been through the lies and cheating and kick myself in the ass for never cheating on my husband. I had the chance several times throughout our 25 years of being together.
    My huband always has excuses for his actions and continues to lie and cheat because he knows that I am still here and it adds to the intrigue and adventure!
    I am now planning my escape out of this hell hole and will no longer protect him and have already told my children (who are 24, 22 & 19) that their father and I can no longer be together because he has a problem with committment and does not respect our marraige. He's a good dad and always will be but I am not going to pretend like he is a good husband! (He's not!) So I am saving money and planning on moving into my own place in about 3-4 months!

  • http://www.optimizedwebsiteonline.com cat402

    continued…..He does not know my plan and I have no intentions of telling him! A lie for a lie for a lie but my lie won't give him a disease! It may make him question how long I have not loved him but he's done that to me for the past 20 years so it's about time that he feels the pain and hurt and stress of deceit!
    So I hope that you can all take something from my experience because it does not end! It delays until the coast is clear and they can begin again. The cheater may have a sex addiction or not feel fulfilled by their spouse/mate but the bottom line is that they chose to gamble away their relationship for a one night stand that not only cost them financially but also physically, emotionally and mentally! You cannot keep up that sort of life and lie when you love and respect your partner!
    Good luck and I hope you all get the courage to find your true love… A respectable, honest and real love!
    I know I plan on finding it! I haven't given up on love and I am excited about living pain free!~!

  • http://www.optimizedwebsiteonline.com cat402

    Espitzer your suggestions are typical of someone whose has experience in being deceitful but the person who replied to your comment is dead on! My husband has tried to cover his tracks using yours and other ways but intuition is your strongest tool and the cheater will get caught! They always do!!!!

  • Mark

    Hey all. I’m sorry about the pain and torture it sounds like you’re all going through. But I’d like to present another point of view… and potentially ask for help.

    I love my wife. I crave my wife. She is the most beautiful girl I’ve ever met. I’d do and will do anything for her. And she’d do almost anything for me. But she is unable to satisfy me sexually. I want her so bad. I go out of my way to please her when we do make love. I won’t stop until she’s reached her peak twice. And it’s beautiful.

    But she can’t do it often. Maybe once or twice every other week. Or less. It’s killing me. Do you know what it’s like to have everything you ve ever wanted in a woman staring you in the face everyday and you’re unable to do anything about it?? It’s torture. And it’s not her fault. She was abused. I just found this out. It’s hard for her to be intimate. But she pushes. Yet sometimes it’s too much for her. On TOP of that she has fibromyalgia and her health issues take even more away from our sex life. She won’t perform certain acts that I’m into. And sometimes she just can’t period. Without going any more graphic there’s some things that are even mild we can’t do together.

    I’ve talked to her about. She knows. She wants to. But can’t. So I developed a defense where I just shut myself off sexually. Just try to live as a unic. But then she gets upset because she misses my affections for her.

    So I’ve been looking at backpage. Seeing the women on there. Many men are just plain douche bags but I can tell you that most men wouldn’t even CONSIDER going to these women if they were getting what they wanted at home. The profession would almost dissapear. I just have these needs but I’m stuck. I’m stuck in a sexless but love filled marriage. And I’m on the verge of doing something stupid to fill these needs. Icant take this. Either i die inside for the rest of my life or i fulfill my needs but cheat on a wife i love thats been abused and pyschically ill.

    I googled men cheating on backpage.com with prostitutes to at least get something to make me see the consequences and this post came up. maybe none of you can help. Maybe I’m providing insight to what the men are going through and that’s all. But I’d really just like… Help.

    I’ve spoken to her about this.

  • Mark

    I’ve spoken to her about needing my needs met rather… not about looking at women / prostitutes on backpage. I haven’t acted on anything as of yet either.

  • Andrew & Claire

    Oh well, all you 'cheated' souls…maybe you should have given your partner more hot sex. Maybe be the whore in bed most men like to have (or vice-versa, be the hot wanting stud most women like). Romance is all fine but raw ecstatic sex is of same importance. One other little tip (and I can hear most of the complainers complain already): maybe find some fuck buddies where BOTH of you experience the thrill you all lost in your bigamistic and jealously guarded 'property' approach to keep tied together what has lost one of it's most archaic yet most important bonds: desire and sexual fulfillment.

  • Wow really Andrew?

    Your a fucking douche bag. Your assuming all the wives writing on this blog are cooker cutting, prude, black and white leave it to beavers walking around with aprons on. Trust me, I was none of the sort. When I was with my husband, I gave him the most nastiest, filthiest performance with enthusiasm I could muster. I still got cheated on. Our sex life dwindled from once a month, to almost a year. Her stopped coming home. He made excuses. He traded in being able to bust it all over my face on a whim for free, for a shiny new snatch he had to pay for. Your advice is so fucking transparent. If your mate is out getting it some place else, theres no amount of so called "hot sex" that is going to keep him around. Plus, you suggest solving the problem by finding a fuck buddy??? Were your drinking when you wrote that? How about getting a divorce, dumping the loser, and finding someone who will respect their mate? Giving in and having a "fuck buddy" is giving on yourself and settling. Your telling these hurt women to just give up. I really hope your not in the business of giving advice. If you are, please for the love of god…quit that job and find a nice burger flipping job thats more on your level. Never never waste good comment box space on a blog ever again.

  • Andrew sucks

    I'm guessing that is the life style you and "Claire" decided on. If being in an open relationship satisfies you being shackled to boring old Claire and her one vagina, then fuck it. Don't try to push that alternative life on other women here. They are writing to cope with their pain, trying to make sense of things, and heal. If they wanted cheap meaningless cock, they would stay with the pieces of shit that let them down. The last thing the women here need to read is some more bullshit and orders barked to them on how to keep their men happy by an unfaithful douche. These women don't want to be married to it, and they don't want shitty advice from one either.

  • Andrew & Claire

    Yep, was just waiting for dumb ad hominem replies like these. It is obvious that the blog owner replied twice.
    I, Claire, wrote the comment, and my husband shares the same opinion.
    Has it ever occurred that your attitude might be at fault? The hate you harbor is eating YOU and will make anyone with a kind heart and a rational mind run a mile from you.
    We feel sorry for you. You must have been hurt long before you even met the partner who left you. The advice you give me, namely hoping I'm not in the business of giving advice, is pure transference. You should heal yourself first before seeking to ease your pain by association to others.
    May peace be with you.

  • Jorian

    Andrew and Claire

    I'm a wife on here that has been hurt but I agree with some of what you say..look at how pissed hurt and angry they are and how they just spew..it's no wonder men run from them. Then theres the nut jobs on here talking about slashing the faces of prositutues and having them raped? Some of these women are beyond hurt,they're weird sick and demented! These are some fuked up folks on here. Seriously my heart breaks for some of these women but some are just weird!

  • Mr Anonymous

    I'm sorry, but if you've been married and only have sex once a year, I can guarantee that somebody in the marriage is not having sex only 1 time a year.
    Did you really expect your husband to have no sexual appetite?

  • Deception

    My Husband used the prostitutes from TER, The San Diego List, Craiglist, the Redbook, erotic newspapers, erotic websites and more. Not sure what else, since he lies….he saw them in hotels, in their own places, etc. Spent in our almost 15 years of marriage more than $30,000.00 until I found out a few months ago..also he has been doing this for more than 30 years and things have escalated, of course, he was recently diagnosed with an adiction, there are many husbands out there that are sex addicts, catching them is difficult but as always the truth will come to the surface sooner or later…my husband made one little mistake..we are not sure if we will stay together…or if he will recover, or if I will overcome this…it is painful and I have lots of anger inside me, affected my job and I am not the same anymore. There is love, but the pain and betrayal are there everyday..counseling is an option, but will never recover all the time he put into his addiction instead of putting that time with his wife and family, no moral values or care for me and the kids…hmmmm.

  • Please help

    Does anyone have any experience with suing the prostitute? I live in North Carolina.Does alienation of affection apply here? My husband used a whore in Chicago on his business trips there,took her to dinner,shopping ect… I even found the emails this piece of human trash sent him and emails talking about money. These skanks should be put on a Island chained to trees and buried alive. They ruin families.
    My husband gave her over $87,000 in a two year period. This was half my money and I want it back! He paid for her schooling.

    The disgusting thing is “it” looks like me. I looked “it” up on line and “it” is carey how much “it” looks like me. I called her to tell her I was suing her but “it” keep hanging up on me.

    I’m devastated and heart broken. I’m only 34 and he’s 37. He has been kicked out of the house and we’re seperated. I’m taking him to the cleaners but going afer her also! Can anyone give me some tips?

  • Puregolden

    I Hate to say it ladies… when a man hooks up with an ” Escort, Prostitute, Companion”… If he spends $20 bucks or $2000… Its not that he doesn’t Love his Wife or Girl Friend.. The bottom line Remember this its his ” Ticket to Remove ALL Emotional Obligation” to an woman… Money is the insulation ” The Bond” … Its Seduction, Power, Mental & Intellectual Stimulation its takes him back to when we had his first wet dream.. He wants to Have Sex with an ” Porn Star” .. ” That Fantasy” Sex is an Drug.. Like Crack at its worst… and Number one its all Psychology & and Good Business Plan.. If she has one.. I will say, I was one that was smart.. They were my victims..I was able to go about my daily life as if nothing was going to on from 10pm-4am…. You Tell me Where an profession gets paid $300-5000K for one hour.. Its Crazy but true… Sad.. I myself have other attributes besides this lifes I find it an ” Intellectual High’ …. I’ve done my homework and brainstormed many nights and came up with this. ” In an ideal world, all women would be as affectionate & accommodating as prostitutes are But this isn’t an Ideal world… when it comes to an “regular relationship” many say in my experience men feel as if they must give a great deal to their partner in order to get a little something back….. Selfish Very!!! Bastards.. As if I’m not a woman.. So Having your children and having an foundation is’nt important? Guess Not.. We are like psychologist is a mini skirt.. Cause really.. I’m at aahhh, myself.. Communication is the key to anything to make it successful , and still that work… Power is another attribute; welding Power and keeping someone under him in check… They serve as a ” Slave” to a mans needs. She is an actress although to the man , he does not care that what he is receiving for his money is a one-woman show and which is is the just nothing but an prop in it… Men seek Escorts when they wish to let go and selfishly indulge in his desires with out to give back anything.. The Lack of emotional obligation is one of the most appealing attributes of paying for sex…

  • Ally

    I am two days into discovering my partner has been seeing escorts, 2 – 3 days per week. I’m completely devastated of course. I can understand how women talk about revenge on these prostitues, I even had thoughts of going into the brothel armed and letting loose. Being cheated on is the worst feeling anyone could have, and sometimes people go too far and break the law, I was lucky I contained myself. I have been with this guy for 10 years and we have 4 very beautiful children together, we are a very close family, and might be the only thing that will save us. I have caught him out cheating a few times before, 1 night stands after clubbing, but he gave up that life (so he said) to make things better with us, but I think he just got smarter, paying for whores so I don’t get hurt. I am a very sexual person, I enjoy sex and giving him pleasure and get into all sorts of kinky situations, he is very hot, and I would say I’m not too bad either, don’t want to sound up myself, but I am, I know I am. I don’t feel too great about myself now though, first thing I did was go to my local club (by myself how pathetic) and got a few approaches by much younger, hot guys, but I couldn’t go through with it, didn’t matter how drunk I was, just kept thinking of my beautiful children. When I think of leaving him, I use the same reason I have many times before, all men are cheating assholes, if I left him I would probably find a guy who would just cheat on me too (just like every guy I know) – if I get a great guy, I need to trade down, someone who thinks I am too good for them basically, even they would probably cheat if approached, not many guys would turn down sex if the opportunity came up. I think he saw these whores simply because he could, he’s rich, very rich, and that’s spare change for him, so why not. We were having sex every day, giving him oral sex atleast once a week, and we had fun, I think a lot of blokes would do the same as him if they had the money too, men are all just perverted beings. Does anyone think I’m just making excuses? I love my family so much, I don’t want anyone else. I’m planning on going away to Thailand, all by myself, after 4 kids ( all breast fed ) my boobs aren’t the same as what they used to be, I’m taking $4,000 (compensation) for a boob job, bring my confidence back up then return home to see if there is any way we can heal. I believe many couples divorce too easily, without trying. I know he loves me a lot, he feels very depressed and seems genuinely very sorry, I know it will probably happen again, but I have to try. Any suggestions?

  • Vince

    First off, it sucks you are going through this. Second, I don’t think a new set up boobs from Thailand is going to fix the problem. I can understand wanting to look better, but I don’t think it woud make a difference what you look like, he cheated with a prostitute because he wanted someone new and different. It has nothing to do with your boobs.

    Have you tried talking to him yet?

  • Booger

    Your anger should be with the responsible party here the scumbag you married. Men are so irresponsible and women should be realizing it more everyday-don’t blame hard up women who are trying to get financially ok for the mens bad behavior.

  • Marlene

    UNREAL! Ally sweetie you sound young and have ALOT to learn,don’t be so shallow. You DON’T diserve this! Get some counseling and work on yourself.

  • Marlene

    I’m in the same situation but there’s one thing I don’t understand. The two years my husband has called escorts and saw them out of hotels and out of town I never thought of calling one of them, suing them or getting any kind of revenge. I’m a lawyer too,and this has NEVER crossed my mind.

    I have thought to myself “how could they do that, Those poor things, what a sad life”,but never malice or wanting revenge,however since I do believe in cause and effect I do think it’s their responsibility to heal and move forward out of that life at some point and I also believe they shouldn’t be shocked if they fall in love marry and they have a husband who likes to see escorts. I’m not some self righteous battles axe wishing to determine cause and effect for everyone but just giving an example of how we ALL need to look at our lives and every cause and effect we make.

    I know this may piss some women off but I think what determines ones wanting to get revenge on the wrong party,and suing them, as opposed to the ones who don’t scream victim , take fiscal responsibility for their well being and move the hell on, is just a basic maturity level. Do these pathetic desperate women even have a pot to piss in to sue them?

    I think we need to grow a brain and deal with the real issues which is our marriages and and our cheatingi husbands! When are women going to get this?

    The logic behind an intelligent woman blaming a sad pathetic desperate woman at her lowest for her marriage problems and cheating husband is like blaming McDonalds for being fat,some may argue “Well, yes but how dare they make me and my family a casualty,and AGAIN the same response can be given. How dare our husbands make our family a casualty. Nobody can blame McDonalds for your husband making the choice of buying a Quarter pounder with cheese everyday and as a result having a cardiac arrest from clogged arteries. We are all slaves to addictions and temptations,in the end WE control whether we give in. The temptations will always be there.It’ ONLY our husbands who need to get a grip on themselves for their families.

    I also notice women do this to keep their husband safe from some of their own anger so they blame the whore. I personally think this is a sad cowardly way of moving on with your life,healing and taking responsibility! It keeps you stuck in victim mode and that is the unhealthiest place to be,it leaves you powerless in your life.

    I divorced my husband after two years of this kept forgiving him but the kids 14 and 21 still love him and spend time with him. I never told the kids details of our divorce or why and NEVER trashed him to the kids,because despite his wandering wiener he’s been a great dad to them. It was hard when I was angry but in my situation our sex life had been dead for years. I’m 52 and now realize keeping up all aspects of the marriage are healthy. I’m not saying I deserved tro be cheated on but from my wisdom and life experience men are sexual creatures and think with their penises allot of the times(My therapist even agrees)

    They will get it some were else if they’re not getting something at home. This isn’t always the case though,each situation is different….this was my situation and what I took away from it. Thank god he left a amazing imprint as a father who’s children still adore him. I hope this inspires and helps some ladies. Thank you for allowing me to share.

  • Marlene

    I’m in the same situation but there’s one thing I don’t understand. The two years my husband has called escorts and saw them out of hotels and out of town I never thought of calling one of them, suing them or getting any kind of revenge. I’m a lawyer too,and this has NEVER crossed my mind.

    I have thought to myself “how could they do that, Those poor things, what a sad life”,but never malice or wanting revenge,however since I do believe in cause and effect I do think it’s their responsibility to heal and move forward out of that life at some point and I also believe they shouldn’t be shocked if they fall in love marry and they have a husband who likes to see escorts. I’m not some self righteous battles axe wishing to determine cause and effect for everyone but just giving an example of how we ALL need to look at our lives and every cause and effect we make.

    I know this may piss some women off but I think what determines ones wanting to get revenge on the wrong party,and suing them, as opposed to the ones who don’t scream victim , take fiscal responsibility for their well being and move the hell on, is just a basic maturity level. Do these pathetic desperate women even have a pot to piss in to sue them?

    I think we need to grow a brain and deal with the real issues which is our marriages and and our cheatingi husbands! When are women going to get this?

    The logic behind an intelligent woman blaming a sad pathetic desperate woman at her lowest for her marriage problems and cheating husband is like blaming McDonalds for being fat,some may argue “Well, yes but how dare they make me and my family a casualty,and AGAIN the same response can be given. How dare our husbands make our family a casualty. Nobody can blame McDonalds for your husband making the choice of buying a Quarter pounder with cheese everyday and as a result having a cardiac arrest from clogged arteries. We are all slaves to addictions and temptations,in the end WE control whether we give in. The temptations will always be there.It’ ONLY our husbands who need to get a grip on themselves for their families.

    I also notice women do this to keep their husband safe from some of their own anger so they blame the whore. I personally think this is a sad cowardly way of moving on with your life,healing and taking responsibility! It keeps you stuck in victim mode and that is the unhealthiest place to be,it leaves you powerless in your life.

    I divorced my husband after two years of this kept forgiving him but the kids 14 and 21 still love him and spend time with him. I never told the kids details of our divorce or why and NEVER trashed him to the kids,because despite his wandering wiener he’s been a great dad to them. It was hard when I was angry but in my situation our sex life had been dead for years. I’m 52 and now realize keeping up all aspects of the marriage are healthy. I’m not saying I deserved tro be cheated on but from my wisdom and life experience men are sexual creatures and think with their penises allot of the times(My therapist even agrees)

    They will get it some were else if they’re not getting something at home. This isn’t always the case though,each situation is different….this was my situation and what I took away from it. Thank god he left a amazing imprint as a father who’s children still adore him. I hope this inspires and helps some ladies. Thank you for allowing me to share.

  • http://www.filthylucre.com/married-men-and-prostitutes Married Men and Prostitutes | Filthy Lucre | For The Working Affluent

    [...] Update: You may also want to read the follow up post on how to tell if your husband is visiting prostitutes. [...]

  • http://www.filthylucre.com/scottsdale-escort Scottsdale Escort | Filthy Lucre | For The Working Affluent

    [...] sleep with prostitutes.  The article was getting so many comments that I did a follow up post on how to tell if your husband is seeing a prostitute.  In addition to the myriad of comments, I was also surprised at how many emails I received asking [...]

  • tanya

    my dad is cheating on my mom. it all started when i made a youtube account with my friend.i never knew there was such a think called “google account.” well, i made a youtube and i also (with out me knowing) got a google account too. i logged on my dads computar and mine for years. but one day i went on my youtube and noticed my google account. i went on it and explored it a little bit; to see what was it was about. i then saw the web history…then when i saw it. It showed something like this
    “11:00 XXX..EXCORTS/MASSAGE/CRAIGLIST…” something like that
    At first i didn’t think much about it. because i didn’t know what it meant.
    I asked my friends..and well i guess they knew.
    After that, i looked through everything and the history went back to 2009. It was like a bad car accident, it was so bad but i couldn’t look away.
    Before i had a amazing relationship with my dad. He bought me everything i wanted, eventhough he didn’t have much. He isn’t rich. Neither is my mom. But they do the best the can do. Im speakless. so shocked. because i have a super close family. we are all we have. and if my dad and mom work together. my dad works 2- 10/11/12/1/2/3 and my mom works 5 to 5. He isn’t rich, yet he can affort to do such a thing. its gross. i hate my dad now. he doesn’t know i know. and none of them know how much it affects me. im only 14 years old and im starting high school next year. im mom has no clue.
    i can’t tell her or my dad or anybody because then our family will be destroyed and they would blame me.
    i don’t know what to do.

  • Anonymous

    Tanya, that really sucks. It is possible you’re dad was just looking and didn’t do anything. Sometimes it’s just a thought or a fantasy. Guys do stupid things sometimes, regardless of how old they are or their family life.

    Don’t hate your father. Just accept that he’s not perfect. Try not to let this interfere with your relationship. You may even want to clear that history out so it doesn’t become a bigger issue.

  • Nschryer

    I AM SORRY KATHLEEN… BUT ….. WHAT?!?!?!?!? aljdfhuihoqerihfoirghoirhgiorgh???? huh

  • Allisa

    I’ve known for two years about my husband’s “hobby.” I even have a retainer in with an attorney. Why haven’t I left? I’m scared. I’m over 50, recently treated for breast cancer and afraid I may be having a relapse. Not looking for advice, just hoping to gain a little courage while reading this.

  • Alissa

    Holy cow–your story was tough to read. Thank god you have your wonderful and loyal children.

    One element seems to be a constant through many of these stories: husband isn’t interested or very enthusiastic about sex. Mine liked to tell me that I wasn’t encouraging enough, so that’s why he didn’t initiate. Turns out the real problem was that I wasn’t a 20-something hooker with 38D implants. All these years I could have been getting the sex and physical affection I needed, but was completely taken in by the bastard.

  • Michelle

    I am devastated……. Here is my situation. I called my husband, because I was going into labor- I was 41 weeks pregnant with our only son and he was drunk. He was supposed to be at work, but decided to go to happy hour with co workers. Well long story short, he partied it up went out on a weekend binge, ignored my calls while I was in the hospital in labor and the finale of the weekend, he called an esccot service and paid 300 dollars to this escort and had her come to our house and had sex with her.

    That was 3 months ago. I am still full of rage and am so upset at the betrayal and lies… not to mention the complete disrespect he showed by bringing her to our home. Now, we argue about it daily …. we are in counseling and he claims he wants to move forward, but how does someone move past something so fifthly ? Has anyone had any luck?

    I do truly believe after months of going over this situation that it has little to do with me, it was his own insecurities, and ability to just be a selfish person but how does someone live knowing that the man that they love is capable of something so gross? How does someone turn their back on someone they say they love and do this?

    I am suffering so much from this, and just want to let it go.

  • Fatcrotch

    PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE Divorce his ass,god there are some stupid women on here LEAVE HIM. He will cheat again

    Having a whore in your house when you were delivering a baby?LMAO OMFG Come on! do you have a shred of self respect?

    This is almost a comedy anyone would put up with that. You can do bad all by yourself. Twenty years of hell with a cheater and maybe a STD or a few uncomfortable adjusting years alone with piece of mind and your sweet baby?

  • James Steel

    I think your article is a rag and you are an idiot for writing it. If you don’t want your husband running around with hookers then do your job and satisfy him at home, because if you were taking care of him he wouldn’t be doing it. Hookers do what most wives don’t and they are great !

  • Surrytops

    You are a sick and selfish son of a bitch. Hookers fake liking it with you because you pay them. You moron!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Surrytops_is_an_idiot

    She is not supposed to like it you idiot!!!! she is getting paid for it. It’s a service! …. and yes you would be surprised of the # of guys that look for other women whether it’s a hooker or a friend with benefits just because his wife doesn’t take care of business at home.
    Women claim is a men’s job to do several things at home… and men gladly do them but then also women have certain responsibilities at home!! but noooo they have to make up BS excuses not to do their job!

  • Gummo

    Remember people, single guys who can’t get laid use hookers too, not every hooker transaction is ruining a marriage. Although, there are many reasons men go this route when they are married. Honestly, if a man is still sexually active and if his wife (who is healthy and able) never gets around to having sex with him, it’s bound to happen, and I can’t say I blame the man, it’s in his core nature to have sex, I’m sorry that’s biology, and men are not necessarily wired to have sex with the same person. That’s not an elegant excuse, but it’s scientifically true. While it’s not pretty, there are too many women who are willing to satisfy the wants of the basic man for a nominal fee.

    It’s not like you have to give him a daily blowjob. And yes if the man is putting no romantic effort in to it, then he’s not trying and probably does not love you anymore anyways if he’s not trying to spark you. It’s real simple, have a sexual session with your husband about every 6 to 7 days, taking periods off of course, and making at least every other one REAL hot, ya know, doing a little something extra that you know he likes… and you got a satisfied man who will need a really pathetic reason to cheat on you. Problem solved, if you’re not doing that, then his sexual mind is wandering, he’s looking at acquaintances and bar flies as possible hook ups and looking at the web for hookers, and basically searching for a way to light it up since you’re not satisfying that basic physical need.

    I’m not being mean or using hyperbole, and I know this argument is more complex, and some men are always unsatisfied and they are a lost cause and it’s obvious it will never work out with him anyways. But for the 90% of normal-minded married men who are not getting laid, that’s the skinny. It’s not too demanding, like a weekly chore. If you don’t like it, then you’ll need to work that out and maybe just treat it like an errand, but just know that if you don’t, someone eventually will, it’s just reality. IF you stay in his sexual memory and have sex with him more frequently, his mind won’t wander, and he’ll just be looking forward to the next time you guys get busy, which he knows will not be too far off.

  • Dawn

    Men who go to the Swedish Touch in Vancouver will have a charge on their credit card under Eclypse Enterprises.

  • Dawn

    Sorry, that was Synpase Enterprises – This is what appears on a credit card for charges to the Swedish Touch in Vancouver. Lots of men who go to conferences in Vancouver end up here. It is below Brandi’s.

  • Shoflygrl

    Thanks Dawn but the chance of anyone else’s husband going to this same place are 1 in a million.

  • Shoflygrl

    seriously ladies call men names all you want but if your married and haven’t given it up for years,you deserve to be cheated on. Sex is HUGE part of marriage,open your legs and act like a whore in the bedroom! stop being so fridgid uptight bitch,alot of men think they can punish men by not giving them any ,the reality is the jokes on them in the end!

  • Shoflygrl

    It’s not about women making the choice to lie on their backs! If they want to live that life let them.It’s about your choice in not staying with and marrying a cheater,stop blaming outside curcumstances.In the end and now you are and always will be responsible for your own fiscal well being no matter how much you want to blame anyone around you,GET OUT OF VICTIM MIND PATTERN!!

  • Shoflygrl

    It’s a shitty dialoge with a bunch of fridgid hags feeding into eachothers pitty party, staying stuck in victim and anger mode,some hating on husbands that have more good qualities than bad and blaming the whores ,nothing self empowering about this board.I’d run from most of you bitter battle axes. Instead of writing and venting on here get into therapy or go give your hubby some good head!

  • GW

    My hubby hasn’t had with me for years citing fatigue and stressed and what can a sweet wife do evern after sexy lingerie? Only masturbate, so pathetic. And indeed my husband has been fxxxg around and beg me not to tell our parents. So coward. I bit my tongue when I wanted to tell him he is a coward, if he dares to do it, dare to admit but it will destroy our marriage which something I don’t want to. Now he is experiencing withdrawal symptons.

  • GW

    Be romantic and sweet to your wives if you need to fulfill your desire. Your wives, whether with children or not need to be treated with respect, love, care. No romance no love no sex, simple as that. If men can be romantic during courtship, they have ability to continue so after marriage. It’s whether they want to put in effort or not.

  • GW

    He found a legal way to do this proves you still matter to him. Whether he wants face or still love you. If you are in so much pain and cannot trust him as he makes no serious effort, then don’t be threatened bu his threats. Just look for a job and have one before you tell him ok, go ahead and take the car, sack me (but don’t let him know which co you’re going to work for), take away the card, fight for divorce using adultery (pls consult lawyer first and collect evidence first). Or just take the shit from him as he knows you need material stuff. Men are afraid of confident and independent women/wives. If you are not afraid of his threats by doing the oppposite, he know you might find future bf/husband and if he is easily jealous type, will stop his misdeeds. God bless you. Be strong.

  • GW

    Men want excitement and challenges, new faces and bodies. They get bored when married long even though they know marriage is for life. They just cannot honour and love the women they once loved as LUST and temptation. Ask them whether they like their wives to be sleeping around. The answer will be no, cause wives belong to them. Why the irony? Wives willing to satisfy and fulfill needs but husbands think otherwise. Do you like you food fresh or old/stale but still edible? If fresh, you got the same answer as those shallow, selfish, irresponsible men. Good luck and GOD bless.

  • GW

    Happy for your new life and good luck in finding true happiness. I hope my husband really repent and want sincerely to save our marriage or I will be like you soon. God bless.

  • GW

    I disagree. Wives are not prostitutes cause we don’t get paid for being laid. Money received (allowance) goes to the family. We don’t fake pleasure when laid and we want our men enjoy lovemaking/itimacy as much as we do. Have more pride, dignity and confidence in yourself. Be independent too, doing things when he’s not around alone and allow him to be STAR if you think he needs compliment by asking him to do things you cannot but he can.

  • GW

    Finally, you are right when you said they think with their penises. Their heart rule over their heads as sexual creatures. I also agree if blame is only on the whore. It’s the cheater’s lying, selfish, irresponsible behaviour that led to affairs. And we, women deserve better treatment. To be loved, respected, cared for and have wonderful life. You have been strong. All the best to you! God bless.

  • GW

    can try but won’t work cause I sleep naked, been wearing sexy lingerie and he has been cheating. Said he is tired or stressed at work so no sex for me for 6 years and I’m only 39 this year. I felt like a widow. Only admitted when his lover called me and kept silent during the calls and carried tales to him that I called him. He believes her and accused me of harassing her and touching his phone. Denied blantantly he has a lover at first then told me not to tell our parents. If he cared, he wouldn’t be doing it, cheaing, lying, fxx around and showering gifts on her. What crap! Ladies, if he doesn’t want sex with you, just pack his luggage and asks for separation. Read and listen to your religion or support group to keep your sanity & love for your family and friends. The world is still a beautiful place. Do what you have not been doing for yourself since marriage. Live a life without him during separation and find a better man when divorce is finalised if marriage cannot be saved without his serious effort and commitment. Trust is difficult to earn but easily broken.

  • gw

    Sorry it causing you so much hurt and pain when you are willing to be a mum for your family’s sake. Pack his luggage and asks for separation. Discuss with im on terms of Agreement of Separation after consulting lawyer. When he knows he got plenty to lose, he can do his math, then he will stop his misdeeds. Ask for the max. Good luck.

  • GW

    It is not the boob job you need. It’s him who needs to find out what is missing in your marriage and take effort to fill that void. Or discuss together to find out. Don’t be hard on yourself. You had fulfill the duty of a wife, child bearing. He has to fulfil his duty as a husband and keeps his family. It takes 2 hands to clap. God bless.

  • GW

    Just drump him or go counselling with him, whichever helps you feel at peace with yourself.

  • Guest

    sure keep tellin yourself that

  • Born Blonde 2

    So, leave. Been there, done that.

    First husband got more and more addicted to internet porn and started seeing the women. We have kids, so of course we tried counseling first. Waited five years after divorce to start dating through a very high class dating service that checks out the members thoroughly. No married men, sex offenders, or parasites. Married again. A man who’s been through seminary, married for 20 years and his wife just left after the last kid went to college because she always wanted to live up north and he hates the cold.

    The “put out or shut up” argument is invalid. We had sex nightly for a year.

    He claimed to be, and for all purposes appeared to be deliriously happy. And satisfied. Actually worried he wasn’t enough for me. Wrong. His phone woke me up ringing at 2am. Odd time for a call, I checked it, his dad is really ill and I don’t know the numbers for all his family there. It was a “courtesan”. He had texted her first, a repeat customer it seems. My first thought, when does he have the time to see her? That’s how often we’re together.

    The silly little girl next door who believed in happily ever after is dead. I’m bleaching my hair blonde, getting a boob job, and living the reality. It’s a fucking banquet and you’re just an appetizer.

  • Born Blonde 2

    The “put out or shut up” argument is invalid. We had sex nightly for a year. All flavors.

    He claimed to be, and for all purposes appeared to be deliriously happy. And satisfied. Actually worried he wasn’t enough for me. Wrong. His phone woke me up ringing at 2am. Odd time for a call, I checked it, his dad is really ill and I don’t know the numbers for all his family there. It was a “courtesan”. He had texted her first, a repeat customer it seems. My first thought, when does he have the time to see her? That’s how often we’re together.

    The silly little girl next door who believed in happily ever after is dead. I’m bleaching my hair blonde, getting a boob job, and living the reality. It’s a fucking banquet and you’re just an appetizer.

  • Born Blonde 2

    The “put out or shut up” argument is invalid. We had sex nightly for a year. All flavors.

    He claimed to be, and for all purposes appeared to be deliriously happy. And satisfied. Actually worried he wasn’t enough for me. Wrong. His phone woke me up ringing at 2am. Odd time for a call, I checked it, his dad is really ill and I don’t know the numbers for all his family there. It was a “courtesan”. He had texted her first, a repeat customer it seems. My first thought, when does he have the time to see her? That’s how often we’re together.

    The silly little girl next door who believed in happily ever after is dead. I’m bleaching my hair blonde, getting a boob job, and living the reality. It’s a fucking banquet and you’re just an appetizer.

  • born blonde 2

    You are a beautiful person. Take some time, enjoy some days in the sun, minus that dead weight.

    I know, it’s demeaning to know your husband is seeking sex elsewhere. That is until I realized they are the ones with the bottomless hole for a soul. It is exactly my own groundedness that makes me wonder why I’m not enough. There is no lack of sex in our lives, and I am a very sensous artist. Originally, wondering why I was not enough, even when we had sex nightly and his friends all say I’m the most beautiful woman around, kept me awake nights. It is my own groundedness, and yours, that makes us even ask that. We do not need endless affirmations that yes, we are sexy, virul, powerful, even dominant. They’re running scared and no amount of women or sex, or abuse even, will take that away. They’re scared of their own insignificance

    I realized, I am so much better off, with or without him. I don’t need his affirmations to be whole and satisfied. He obviously will never be, and that’s miserable. It’s like watching someone light a whole box of matches, one by one, and wonder why the fireplace is still cold. They never get past the flare up. Our intimacy is so hollow now for me because of his behavior I’m not surprised he looks elsewhere. I’m a horrible actress and he’s pathetic to me and who wants to be naked in front of that? But he won’t leave, and my children adore him so I won’t either. It’s defenseless, what we do to one another.

    Dark and dreary, but what I wanted to say is I’m sending love to you. I have three friends who are cancer survivors, and lost my grandmother much too soon to it. I’ve had three scares, but nothing malignant. We value our lives so much more in these moments. Your impact is endless, so go and find your voice/love/talent, and share it… NOW. With or without him.

  • born blonde 2

    So, leave. Been there, done that.

    First husband got more and more addicted to internet porn and started seeing the women. We have kids, so of course we tried counseling first. Waited five years after divorce to start dating through a very high class dating service that checks out the members thoroughly. No married men, sex offenders, or parasites. Married again. A man who’s been through seminary, married for 20 years and his wife just left after the last kid went to college because she always wanted to live up north and he hates the cold.

    The “put out or shut up” argument is invalid. We had sex nightly for a year.

    He claimed to be, and for all purposes appeared to be deliriously happy. And satisfied. Actually worried he wasn’t enough for me. Wrong. His phone woke me up ringing at 2am. Odd time for a call, I checked it, his dad is really ill and I don’t know the numbers for all his family there. It was a “courtesan”. He had texted her first, a repeat customer it seems. My first thought, when does he have the time to see her? That’s how often we’re together.

    The silly little girl next door who believed in happily ever after is dead. I’m bleaching my hair blonde, getting a boob job, and living the reality. It’s a fucking banquet and you’re just an appetizer.

  • born blonde 2

    Do not put yourselves in the same space with these people. They’re vultures and you’re an eagle. Fly above it.

  • born blonde 2

    I know, it’s demeaning to know your husband is seeking sex elsewhere. That is until I realized they are the ones with the bottomless hole for a soul. It is exactly my own groundedness that makes me wonder why I’m not enough. There is no lack of sex in our lives, and I am a very sensous artist. Originally, wondering why I was not enough, even when we had sex nightly and his friends all say I’m the most beautiful woman around, kept me awake nights. I certainly don’t feel beautiful at all. But, it honestly does not weigh in as much to me, if I am or am not. It is my own groundedness, and yours, that makes us even ask that why they look elsewhere. We do not need endless affirmations that yes, we are sexy, virul, powerful, even dominant. They’re running scared and no amount of women or sex, or abuse even, will take that away. They’re scared of their own insignificance

    I realized, I am so much better off, with or without him. I don’t need his affirmations to be whole and satisfied. He obviously will never be, and that’s miserable. It’s like watching someone light a whole box of matches, one by one, and wonder why the fireplace is still cold. They never get past the flare up. Our intimacy is so hollow now for me because of his behavior I’m not surprised he looks elsewhere. I’m a horrible actress and he’s pathetic to me and who wants to be naked in front of that? But he won’t leave, and my children adore him so I won’t either. It’s defenseless, what we do to one another.

    Hope you’re a secretary now, and loving it.

  • born blonde 2

    Amen to that.

  • rebeccalee

    thats right girl be a lady out side the bed room and a stone cold man seducing whore in the bedroom FOREVER

  • Edssxwife

    BITCH STOP POSTING THE SAME SHIT ALL OVER THE BOARD..DUMB ASS! Once is enough,not only are you a dumb blinde your a fukkin parrot!

  • VictoriaSecret

    I found that my husband paid $300 to escort service by credit card when I was in business trip. He always says me that he will not cheat on me ever!! (His ex-GF broke his heard in past. He swore that he never will cheat on his wife)…

    Does enybody have an idea how to know what did he buy in escort service (massage, dance or sex)? Or maybe he chated on website and website charted money to him?

  • VictoriaSecret

    I found that my husband paid $300 to escort service by credit card when I was in business trip. He always says me that he will not cheat on me ever!! (His ex-GF broke his heard in past (she was cheating on him). He swore that he never will cheat on his wife)…

    Does enybody have an idea how to know what did he buy in escort service (massage, dance or sex)? Or maybe he chated on website and website charted money to him?

  • Fredericks

    He bought the poon girl,full on poon dogies style!

  • Mitch

    LOL as pissed off as that made you. Thats the best dam answer yet and sure cuts to the reality “There’s no right answer she can possibly give you” What the hell do you want her to say? Thats what you get for going to the wrong party for anwsers,DON’T LOWER AND EMBARASS YOURSELF by calling a machine that your husband seeked out! It makes no sense!

  • Mitch

    don’t be so judgmental sweet heart,you don’t know what she’s overcome in her life,she may be a eagle in regards to were she could have been and what she;s over come. Get off your moral highhorse you’re not better than anyone,even though your bruised ego would like to think you are. You women are so dam insecure and catty!

  • M.Y. O’Hara-Smith

    I find marriage to be a silly institution and maybe all this talk of prostitutes and “husbands” will lead to its demise. GODSPEED! It seems to invite all kinds of costly ‘worms’ and stresses into life and effects children more than anyone. Governments, religion, lawyers, bankers, in-laws, schools, drug companies, fashion designers, soccer Mom culture, therapists, mini-vans, cable television, Oprah, funeral outfits…Maybe the problem is that they keep trying to keep it ALIVE where it was in the beginning, which is impossible. It’s like staying stuck in a moment in the past. The only thing definite is change and living in the now. Perhaps one day we’ll all look back on it as a form of bondage. Men and women cheat themselves accepting such a sad standard and calling it a high form of love. May we all be as free as animals! All kinds out there…many levels of relating. No right, no wrong. Gawd bless us all!

  • M.Y. O’Hara-Smith

    Financial independence on both parts…LIBERATING. Could put sleazy lawyers out of business and therapists capitalising off of ‘pain.’

  • Le Honey Hive

    what a wanker!

  • M.Y. O’Hara-Smith

    sending you a TRUCK LOAD Allisa. Leave the dodo to his hobbies. Do NOT stay around to be his caregiver.

  • GROW A BRAIN SALLY!

    Sally, how the hell are prostitutes going to get off their backs and help abused women,when 99.9 percent of them are, and have been abused themselves? Seriously this is like the blind leading the blind. They can’t help you and it’s not their fault! While you’re at it go blame Mc Donalds for making people fat.
    Have you ever heard the saying secure your own oxgen mask before helping others?
    Prostitutes can’t even get their own life together,how the hell are they going take the time and money to start a support group for the wives of their tricks? Thats not their responsibilty! Your HUSBAND owes you.Thats the dummbest thing I’ve heard. I would suggest they get into therapy and heal their own abuse first. You sound like a jilted dumb ass wanting to blame the wrong party! GROW A BRAIN!

    The men are the misogynist abusers Sally to both wives and ALL women..hookers too!

    THE MEN THE MEN SWEETIE !!!! Dril that through your skull!

  • Jennifer Minnehan

    I thought I married the dream man of my life. Boy did he put on a good front. Claimed to be a christian
    cancer survivior. Had a great job opened the door for me. Never cursed! seemed to be the perfect gentemen. His company offered him a job in Singapore. I went with him, everything seem to be okay.
    I had to come back to the states for a family emergency. He brought me to the airport and cried and told me to hurry back that it would be so hard to be without the one you love. a week after I was in the states he started acting different. As a wife and woman that was married to this man 3 years. I felt something very wrong but couldn’t put my finger on it. He wouldn’t answer his phone at night. When I did get in touch with him his speech was slurred. He said he was working so many hours to stay busy and he was just tired. Something told me there was more going on. I hired a private investigator that followed him for one week!!! was I shocked to find out what my husband was doing. He had a different prostitute at our condo in Singapore every night and he was not working weekends so he wood hit bars
    and pick up prostitutes and bring them back to the condo. It was like I did not know the man the investigator had the videos and pictures on. But it was him. I was in the states 2 1/2 months he spent 48,000.00 on credit cards and I guess he was so far into his prostitution he did not care. I called him and told him I had him followed, he denied he had done anything he said whoever you hired is lying and taking your money I have never bought a prostitute and he hung up on me. I was so up set I took a bottle of xanax and tried to kill myself. My family got in touch with him and he flew back to the states.
    Begged me to forgive him that he would ever do it again. I finally tried to believe him and make my marriage work. He has done it again. He is sick and has serious problems. I call him the devil because how can anyone hurt someone they are married to and I gave 200% and he gave nothing but hurt and hell. His name is Daniel Minnehan 53 years old and he is the biggest loser in the world.

  • Truth hurts

    And this is why you don’t take a man who appears too perfect. No such thing as the perfect man or woman, if you can’t see any flaws then you can bet your ass that they’re hiding something or not being themselves

  • Jennifer

    As I stated!!! we were married for 3 years ( no ptostitutes,,, so I must have satisified him very much. It is when I left his true colors came out. That has nothig to do woth me. He is a sick bastard if he could’nt wait until his wife returned from a famiy emergency left to bury my dad and be with my family. He has the problem and sounds like you do too!!

  • Deb in South Florida

    that is an Old Wives Tale, the men who go to Prostitutes are Sneakie/Messed Up men, if they are Married Men….. Even with very sexual wives, they still get the urge, cause they are sex addicts and they get the chemical high ….. they are also wacko to take a chance on giving themselves aids or stds!!!! and possibly leaving their kids parentless!!!

  • Deb in South Florida

    Jennifer there is so much ignorance from men on here!!! I was a very sexual wife and for years I begged my husband to take me to sex shops and he wouldnt! He was never sexual, never initiated sex it was all on me!!!! His ex wife thought he was gay for the lack of initiation!!!! He was always a gentleman, wiht manners and even told me that years ago he was at a bachlor party with his brother and lots of guys, htere was a whore there and he said he was the only one who did not go in!!! he couldnt do it!!
    So what happened to him? After 14 years of marriage, I knew something was wrong, and took him to a counselor, it just came out of my mouth and I had no facts then….. counselor knew us both and she said whats wrong? I said hes cheating, and my husband said what? no way!! how could i as i am home nights and weekends? All of a sudden it came out of my mouth and i shocked them and me: you are seeing prostitutes during the day thats how you are cheating!!!
    he almost dropped but he denied denied denied, and 6 months later I had all the evidence!!!!! he saw a dozen in-house private prostitues in 10 monhts, I spoke to them all….. even they wondered why he went to prostitues as he was not sexual and they all said he wanted to talk and be friends, wierd huh? but had sex with each and every one of them, had problems getting it up and i even found he ordered extenze from the tv hahahahahahaha
    he broke down and cried and saw our pastor, he went to celebrate recovery and did a 12 step program, and now got baptized and is a new man and christian, and says he was sick and low, and pushed all his morals away to feel good. I had left him and dated and partied and had the best time in my life!!!!!!!!!
    I maybe can forgive if hes a good man for the rest of his life, as we are in our late 40′s but I will never forget …. Trust me, he was shocked that I traveled, and met other men, dated and partied….. and I came back home to him and cheated for one year on him!!!!!! ONly cause I wasnt ready to come back… but forced to by lawyer………

  • Deb in South Florida

    wow you are so right!!! I saw the word bloke is this site based out of england?
    we are in USA, here in Florida, my husband saw 12 prostitues and one right in my town, who work out of their homes… ugggggs wacko men, but I dated and cheated right back and he did NOT like it, I even left for one year!!!!! I did come back, yep we are nuts but my hsubnad is making changes and getting alot of help YOU GO OUT N HAVE FUN!!!! TAKE IT FROM ME, OTHER MEN WILL BUILD YOU BACK UP, BE CAREFUL AND SAFE, DATE FRIENDS WHOM YOU KNOW AND HAVE FUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Your married but he did it so pay backs are a b….. but its not really paybacks, it helps us build our self esteem back up, and its fun!!!!!!! My eyes will always be open, when the right man comes bye bye cheating husbnad… He said he did it for 10 months , one bout in his life and never again, I told him if there is a next time it will get violent, I did beat him when I found out initially and had a break down, and I never ever had a fight in my life before, Men push us to the limit cause some of them are selfish jerks!!!!!!!!
    write me anytime baseballmomdeb9@aol.com

  • Sharon Lykus

    Interesting Deb, I worte you about a week a go and you never responded!

  • Sharon Lykus

    You can all email Deb In South Florida but she doesn’t respond. I’m not sure why people post emails and don’t respond,seems a bit silly to me.

  • Deb in South Florida

    Sharon of course I will respond, my dad has taken a bad turn with his leukemia, so Ive been running to and from hopsital, plus I work very full time, when I read emails I will respond for sure!!!!!! I still dont see your long email anywhere to me? where did you write it? I only saw the one telling me you wrote one????? I dont sit on the computer all day, but when I read emails to me I will certainly respond!!!!! We all need support after all weve been through!!!! Kindness is very important, between us girls!! So give me time/ a chance to respond, but still looking for your response. Wish I knew where you sent it??????????

  • Deb in South Florida

    Trying to see where it was sent!!!!!!! Can not find it???

  • Deb in South Florida

    Depends which kind of prositutes your talking about!!!! The private ones that work out of their homes, some are very together and make tons of money!!! Some are in call only so visits are to their homes, some meet at nice hotels. The street walkers are messed up druggies, moreso then the home based ones. My husband did a prostitute right in my town, who has a lovlier home then me, drives a brand new mercedes, sees wealthy men and politicians, and has plastic surgery every year, travels the world. Yes she is disgusting pig to me, but she is well groomed and manicured, uses the best hairdressers in town, etc….. she is 60 and looks 40, he saw 12 different ones, in 10 months, each one he visited for about a month, I spoke to them all and met one!!!!! FElt like killing them all, but its Not their fault my own husband went to them, found their ads in the local new times and city link papers!!!! ugggggg

  • Deb in South Florida

    You sure it was me? was i on here a week ago> been in the hospital with my dad for about 4 days now….. trying to stabalize him, but I thought the other day was my first time on here!!!! will look on my email again, dont see it on here!!!!

  • Deb in South Florida

    Contact the city she lives in or the town, the town officials, they will do a sting at her house and watch, if they catch her they prosecute and can take her home away, well thats how it is here anyway, I filed police reports and one sting is taking place now.. I have to see this whore in the supermarket cause my dumb sick husband used one in our town, uggggg

  • Deb in South Florida

    Look, its illegal activity and you should be put in jail!!! You prostitutes are in it for one thing: MONEY, you have no skills so you sell your body and sex, its kinda sickening to us thats all!!!! You take our money, you make believe you like the men so much, you fake orgasms to make them get off, Your all fake. Why do it anyway?
    Men go to prostitutes to be built up emotionally, because these men are sick and damaged from something, they need so much complimenting and being told how good they are, when they are in reality bad men!!! They lie, cheat, steal, and embezzle our family money and use it for what? Then they feel sicker after they do the prostitutes, its terrible and leads to sex addiciton and causes deep problems and issues for the man himself, wife, and kids. My husband got kicked off all sports leagues in our town, it went around like wild fire!!!! Its just sick, esp. when they make believe the prostitutes are loving them but forgetting they are being paid to make them feel like that!!!! Its horrid, you whores ruin everyones lives, you should all be forced to move to reno wher its legal, and stay away from our neighborhoods!!! And our husbands things should fall off!!! Its discusting and disease ridden…..

  • Deb in South Florida

    If your husband paid a fee to an escort service it means exactly this:
    he had a visit, either he went to where she was or she came to him and they had a session. $300.00 for probably one hour session, starts with a body rub, then goes right to oral and then intercourse!!!! Most that charge this much will use condoms for oral and intercourse, but some if you slip them a little cash they wont cover!!!!! Men do not pay $300.00 for chat, its for a visit and sexual encounter!!!!!
    baseballmomdeb9@aol.com
    if you need any support, Im not on that often, but I will respond!!!

  • Deb in South Florida

    Michelle my husband did this with 12 prostitutes in 10 months, lead a double life behind my back, also paid that amt too, which means they are private escorts or work for a service….. If it happened once its very likely it happened other times as well!!!! I left my husbnad for a year, and now am back, dont know if it will work or not. He did it from apr of 2008 until like feb./march of 09 and I found out in April of 2009. I came back originally per my lawyer, we are in our 40[s married for 14 years at that point, I was so devastated I emotionally collapsed, but he was so distraught over it and wanted help bad, so he saw a doctor//counselor/ then we went together, also he did celebrate discovery, and 12 step class, and he met with the pastor regularly and we did too, he got baptized and claims he needed to become a new man as it was the last hope for him, he said it. He did change, and its the only way you can stay togther, the man must get help alone and together with you!!!! and he must go thru 12 step groups, and recovery groups and go to your church or temple and speak to someone there, It takes Work on HIS part to prove to you he wants help to get over this!!!!!!!
    baseballmomdeb9@aol.com

  • Deb in South Florida

    also: you should separate , for at least a year, and wake him up, tell his family what he did and go to google.com and google all phone numbers on his phone for the past like 3 years!!! prostitutes have web sites and they will all come up, you must know what/how often and why!!! or it never works, and While you separate you should date and have FUN !!!!! Let him suffer now, they are all sick creeps but we love them, and sometimes it can work out…… but takes so much work, also: SELL the house demand you will not live there anymore….. creep to bring her there, ugggg mine did a prostitute in my town and then was friends with her, took her and her dog to MY vet, weird huh??? I did a police report on her and him!!! Public record, he then got kicked off as coach on little league in our town, the men were disgusted by him!!!!!

  • Deb in South Florida

    Is anyone a professional write/publisher/ or movie agent to pitch a story? Does anyone live in Florida, USA on here??? South Florida? I am starting a support group and if anyone lives near me I would love to here from you!!!
    baseballmomdeb9@aol.com

  • Deb in South Florida

    I feel your pain!!! :(

  • Earshatter

    Didn’t your husband know it’s illegal? Why isn’t he in jail?

  • Johlinquist

    You women would be better off in therapy,leaving your husbands and directing your anger in a more useful way. If your going to spend your time getting back at the whore your husband contacted and beating the shit of your husband,there’s no point in staying and working this out, it’s just unhealthy all across the board.dealing with this ,with violence isn’t any better than what your husbands did.

  • bigstiffpeckerman

    Women say what you want ,but your all PROSTITUTES. The only difference between a wife and a prosititute is a blessing!

  • Genesis House of Healing

    NEGATIVE! Perhaps some he saw seemed okay butThe stats on that are rare. Do more research! If you did you wouldn’t be coming on here making these comments! Most if NOT ALL have been abused and their lives are a disaster,fincially etc. many are forced into that and alot are young girls,don’t kid yourself for a minute that “they’re together” no woman selling her body is “together” most of them feel trapped and have a hard time getting out for many reasons.Just because she has material things doesn’t mean she’s not a mess,thats superficial! It doesn’ matter if anyone here is so superior “they would never do that”,most women don’t think they’ll ever do that!

    Most women who do that have no financial maturity and are buying drugs giving it to pimps or spend it as fast as they make it. Sounds like that 60 year old is just a kept woman.there’s tons of different kinds out there,even gold diggers who look for sugar daddy. It’s rare a hooker is “well off.,together,and happy! Have you heard of HBO cathouse,we got that disgusting rag pulled from the air. The exploiting piece of shit Dennis is up for a round with me and I’ll be handing him his nuts in a paper cup,and thats on my good day!

    We have a program for young trafficked girls some as young as 11,watch how you judge these women because your husband is a mysognistic pig! One millionaire pig saw a young girl,12 years old for three years,had rape sessions with her for two hours at a time,her anis is destroyed and she’ll wear a diaper or padding for the rest of her life.This millionaire bought his way out of jail,but I haven’t forgotten!! She was finally rescued in June of 2010,still wakes up screaming. Prostitutes are humans with feelings first,don’t dump your rage on them because of your husband HUNTED them down.

    I’m not sure about this illusion of the happy well adjusted hooker,it doesn’t exist!

    There’s some articulate,beautiful women on here going through some heavy stuff, and my heart and love goes out to you,but some on here talking about suing and violence towards the prostitutes,well If you came after one of my abused minors, I’d having your ass gasping for air in legal shit ,and I wouldn’t stop until I was sure you got it! I fight to the death for my cause,and women trying to get out of that life, and I go after the men too! Make sure your husbands not in my net,because I’ll hand him his balls in a cup,or serve them for dinner!

  • Deb in South Florida

    So do women !!!!! But we usually stay committed to the husbands, until they are snagged!!!!!! When my husband cheated I moved out and dated and partied and he hated it… oh well i had the best time of my life, equal time here guys!! My sex drive is way higher then his ever was, his is so low his ex wife thought he was gay, maybe thats why he went to whores, to see if hes straight but even they said he couldnt perform and just laid there, its a sickness in the mans mind!! and pure SELFISHNESS, you men wanna see paid whores, then leave your wife first no duh!!!!

  • Deb in South Florida

    Im glad for the work you do!!! But: you are talking about different types of prostitutes!!!!! Ive done my research for 3 years and am writing a book and doing a lot of work !!!!! I am talking about one specific type of Prostitute , the home based private escort type , they say escort but they are Prostitutes!! As with any industry there is an array of different levels and these prostitutes that are private and home based do not need or have pimps!! They are on their own, all over our upper scale neigborhoods, making more money then most of us, and loving it!! I interviewed 12 of them!!!!!! Only one felt she did it because she had no other choice.. the others all chose to do it, love sex, invent sexual devices, happilly visit sex shops, talk about it, these are not the poor minors or sex slaves!!! They live in gorgeous homes, and good communities!!!! I REPEAT I am not talking about these poor young sex slaves , that is terrible!!! Im talking about a whole other breed of them and they are in their 30′s – 60′s just check the backpage.com or the back pages of the New Times paper!!!!! I met them, saw their homes, got to know some, talk to some on FACEBOOK, shop at same stores, .. they have nicer cars then I do, they are not the ones you are helping, I feel bad for the sex slaves, some are kidnapped and sold and abused terribly that is Different!!!!!!!!!! These home based private paid whores know what they are doing, they want it, they love it, they thrive on it….. they have good lives from all the money they make….. BUT its illegal and for that these kind of prostitues that do in base don their own will should be arrested and closed down!!!!!!! Or to to where its legal if that is their choice!!!! THey are happy and well adjusted and do NOT wish to get out, its their chosen career!!!!! They mostly have huge boobs and know how to use them!!! hahahahahaa you can write me at baseballmomdeb9@aol.com anytime. I help women through now, because I myself went through it and emotionally broke down bad!!!!! Of course wanted to hurt the husband first, he seeked them out, he contributed to their illegal activity ande he contributed to the possibility of killing us both!!!! But these home based prostitutes are not sex slaves, they are not kidnapped, they have lucrative businesses out of their homes and its their choice, some even have husbands who go along with it and count the money all the way to the bank!!!! I would love to help your organization and help those poor kids its horrible and possibly the missing women in Aruba were sold as sex slaves, who knows? its goes on all over and is sooo horrible!!!!!!! So what do we do???????

  • Deb in South Florida

    PS these home based prostitues in our communities are not abused, they have about 4-5 clients per day, cars are hidden in the house garage, politicians, city officials, cops and lawyers visit these prostitues so they dont even bust them and close them down!!!!! 10 out of the 12 my hsuband went to were in late 40′s early 50′s and the one was 60 , didnt look it, but you should see them , their homes, their lives!!!! its dispicable this is how they make money, but its THEIR CHOICE, with this type of paid whore, no one twists their arm!!!! they are disgusting pigs as much as the husbands who visit them, but its their choice of profession!!!

  • Deb in South Florida

    Also these prostitues do have feelings and wants its our MONEY, show me the money!!! They dont do crap until the man puts the money down, then they go into their drama/ actress/ acting!!!! OH i love you, Oh your handsome, so great and wonderful what a man!!!! hahahahahahahah they are the best Actress’s in the world, its DIFFERENT with the kids forced into it, that is soooo terrible and sad, im so sorry for htem and would lvoe to help them. You need to learn more about these prostitutes come to Florida nd we can go on a tour!!!!!!!

  • Deb in South Florida

    PS which Genesis house is this? There is quite afew is it the one in Tenn???? let me know how I can help Im in Florida!!!!

  • Deb in South Florida

    its the initial shock that gets to the wife!! its deep, shocking and we all wonder how it begins? the first thought to do it, the first time???? wierd you never know how you will react until you experience it!!!

  • Deb in South Florida

    Of course he knew , he just pushed all his previous morals and character aside!!!! He hated women of course, prob. hated me due to his neglect by his own mother.. its deep its sick and its very hurtful, we then grieve similar to a death!!!! One time he was at one of the prostitutes home when a neighbor came out and yelled you prositute, dirty whore… and she yelled I called the cops!! My husband was there and took off like a kid, parked down the block and waited it out!! I wish he was arrested but no he wasnt .. who should arrest him? all the cops and officials use the same whores!!!!! its bad, these are not street walkers they are high paid whores who choose to do this, they love their careers!!!!!!

  • Deb in South Florida

    Your in florida? me too!!!! 954 is my area code, broward county write me via email: baseballmomdeb9@aol.com Im starting a local support group for us wives!!!!!!!

  • Deb in South Florida

    BS!!! They can wind up in Jail when the police actually do their job and do stings on the homes!!! Its illegal activity ILLEGAL prostitution!!! Us wives will stick togehter against people like you!!! Of course our own spouses are whores, but why arent these prostitutes that work out of their homes in our towns get closed down??????? probably cause of lawyers like you who wish to protect them!!!!!!! ugggs makes me sick!!!!
    they spread disease and Hepatitis C which is the first test my dr. did to me, they spread it all even the higher paid ones… uggggggg

  • Deb in South Florida

    You call them escorts? THey dont escort the men anywhere but to sex and after they get their roses (money) put down!!!!! Get real, these are whores, prostitues and high paid working out of their luxury homes, in our towns!!! they live next door, down the block etc…… it is wrong as its illegal activity!!!! our husbands are sicko prics for going to them, but they are wrong to do it and pass disease!!!!!!

  • Johlinquist

    Point! but what are you going to do now, and how long has it been?

    This is just a rant board that women who have been hurt and betrayed like yourself run to after googling help when they should be googling a therapist

    You need THERAPY with a PROFESSIONAL or energy work,as good as it feels, blaming trashing the whore and your husband here on the internet are temporary pain killers,start healing ,and getting that rage out of your auric field and body because your carrying ALOT!!!
    I also do energy work and pick up energy anywere.You’ll get REALLY sick in the fall of 2012 if you don’t start releasing some of this,it’s old toxic stuff.

    You have alot of releasing to do,understand so. Don’t waste your time here. You’re not helping eachother stay stuck in vindictive mode and anger,and I’m sorry but this “support group” you’ll be starting will turn into a toxic battle ground were you keep eachother stuck in this life situation that happened to all of you. You’ll keep eachother stuck verifying hurts pains,war stories etc,MOVE ON!!

    If you’re with him now, and you’re here on a board venting,filling the comments section for some relief, he’s not doing his part,he’s NOT emotionally available and he’s not in a place were there’s transformation.You shouldn’t have to be here if he was evolved enough to see, and take responsibilty for this. You can’t help him!! This is just UNHEALTHY for you! Tell yourself the truth and leave him! Why are you hanging on?

    From what you’ve shared here ,and the little informtion
    Leave your husband,and get into therapy and forgive him (at your own pace.) There’s no medium here! Forget writing a book ,there’s a hundred women who have stories more extreme and mind blowing than yours, I hear them daily! Yours isn’t unique! We’d all like to write a book and trust me I could have had my life story as a sex addicted pig abusing women in my dark years sold into a screenplay. I was the number one reviewer on TER! I spent over (my ex wife calculated) $550,000 in seven years on hookers and strip clubs,lap dances ect I healed my life! It took two years to get things some what sane,but I was heavily addicted to cocaine and sex!

    I run a therapy group for johns who were sex addicts,and some still are. There’s counselors there,many guys are court ordered but do have the desire for change.I now have a beautiful girlfriend with a sweet daughter who has down syndrome. The blessing of my life these two,but you have to be open and ready to change ,heal and move on in your life!

    You have two choices,leave him with the lingering anger and mistrust, it will never work,DEMANDING him what to do next won’t work,he needs the desire,tuck away your penis, and stop demanding! If you can’t trust him, and he’s not willing to change,and your venting on Internet boards,he’s just not stepping up to the late and probably never will! LEAVE him

  • laura h

    Totally feel your pain as the silly little girl next door. Just in the last month found $20,000 worth of strip club bills and he confessed to sleeping with prostitutes from Craigslist 9 times. Our sex life was robust and now he is on his knees begging for forgiveness and saying he was on a destructive path and that he needs help. Hopefully neither of us has any nasty STD or AIDS. Sad stories…

  • HookerFan

    You know what all you bitter women have in common (besides husbands who want a little excitement)? You’re superstitious. You talk about church and pastors and seminary. Stop being so ridiculous and life won’t be so bad. You married bad men who believe in stupid fairy tales. You get what you deserve. You’ve married dumb men, as shown by them talking to an imaginary sky genie. It’s no wonder they were so easy to catch.

    I have a girlfriend at the moment. Been together for a while .It’s the first relationship I’ve had that’s lasted more than a year. I had only been to a hooker once, 6 years before meeting her. Since we’ve been together I’ve gone numerous times. It’s nothing evil, it just feels good. Sex is significantly more fun when it’s with someone new. So what? Men like to get a little strange on the side, it’s a natural urge. The whole reason for using whores is so as to not have to run around and cheat. No dating, no relationships, just that awesome sex. Often, sex with women we couldn’t get otherwise. That little Vietnamese spinner, that buxom blonde, that pregnant skank, whatever your pecker desires. It’s fantastic.

    In my case, it’s not necessarily anything my girlfriend is doing wrong. She’s pretty freaky, actually. I just need a variety of vagina.

    The nice thing is, I will never get caught. None of these dopey tricks in the article would work on me. The only thing that might work is a private investigator (like that woman who had her husband followed in Singapore). But, that would require extreme suspicion to do. I don’t leave a trail and I hope your husbands don’t either.

    Monogamy is not natural.

    Also, you need to take into account that for a lot of us, we didn’t have the money to do this kind of thing when we were young. So, what should we do, miss out on relationships to save ourselves for when we have the money for whores?

  • Earlybird45

    Bitch give me a break,your story could be told by millions and there’s no scandalous ending for Hollywood to be that interested. There’s been stories already written about stuff like this in Hollywood that ended in murder and worse.A million people have your story. Leave your fukkin husband or stop being a bitter vindictive bitch trying to punish everyone,you only look like a idiot,yes you do! I a bitter,nasty synical hag who will die getting back at everyone.LOSER~

  • N. Reese

    Jennifer so sorry to hear your story! I feel your pain as my story is almost identical except he doesnt just do it out of the country in Amman Jordan, Iraq -etc…he does it close to our own home. Mine is 47 years old and owns a reputable security company in NC…..Trust me…your husband may be the biggest loser in the world and I agree with you wholheartedly….but he isnt the only one….I call mine the Serpent and am on my way out of this situation after, like you giving 200%…..We deserve better! These men are mentally sick and their karma for the hurt they have caused will eventually catch up with them!

  • posh

    Calling people idiots doesnt do any good, especially someone hurting…why be cruel?..Does
    I dont get why people are just mean….other than blatant inmaturity and lack of education..your statement simply isnt true – ive done alot of research on this…my husband would tell you that “we have the best sex he has ever had”…EVERYDAY!!!…ive heard him tell his friends that-and that “he has the hottest wife in the world” – “who is a”doctor”… i heard these things when he didnt know i was listening…..its not necessarily what a guy isnt getting at home…its because there is mental disconnect alot of times and there are many reasons for this and most of the time it doesnt have anything to do with the wives at all…In my situation,he even admits the above..he says he is “lost…he lost his military career, doesnt get to see his kids from previous marriage often” and he feels like going to a prostitute gives him a “temporary escape” from reality and from someone that doesnt know his past or anything about him. Unfortunately alot of men are just driven by testosterone and have a need for the adrenaline rush of “not getting caught” and just liking variety..Some of this may stem from very controlling parents, especially the mother – which they say creates a subconscious hate for women….Thats def a contributing factor here…..NO one said hookers werent great…..Theres alot of people out there without morals….but no one is calling you out on that

  • SF Gal

    “The independent escort is the more common approach these days.”

    Yes, and this latest development will indeed make it more difficult for a wife to find out if her husband is involved in any ‘extracurricular’ activities. Even more so with incalls. How could a wife ever find out for example, if her man is going to an incall, during the day, paying cash and using the sex worker’s apartment intercom rather than his phone? It’s something to think about.

    I’m not trying to make it easier for the men by mentioning the above scenario. I just know some stories, being as I live in the Bay Area, which is known for having a huge variety of such services available. Honestly, it’s practically a smorgasbord, and even a matter of pride in San Francisco.

    I also will not choose sides here. It’s a such a hot button issue and a complex one for that matter. I wish I could say I thought it was ‘just about the sex’ too, but I think clients are likely looking for a whole lot more in some cases. If only it were strictly business. But surely it involves a level of vulnerability and exposure (not just physical) on the part of the client and the sex worker. So I think a discussion beyond whether it is right or wrong is more helpful. I feel for anyone who is not getting the level of intimacy they need from a partner, whether it be a man or a woman. I do feel that a willingness to commit and get married means there were some genuinely good intentions, at least at the outset. Sometimes people get married far too young, and do not have the level of compatibility they thought they would. Then children come along, and so on and so forth. But then, I’m not married…

  • Todd

    Give me a break,you bitter women are pathetic! I have to laugh at you uptight Americans,sue sue sue for this sue for that stay a victim stay a victim poor me,talk forever about this kind of shit,no wonder the rest of the world hates you! You’re a country of moraly righteous,hypocits! You also have the most sex crimes ,go figure!

    Some of you women on here are so emotionally and spiritually immature! You just don’t get it do you?

    When are people going to grow up? If a MARRIED man has an affair or see’s a hooker, then he is the one who is cheating. If a husband loves his wife then he is faithful, if he can be tempted then that is his fault, not the wife nor the hooker. Your husband went off with a hooker, what is hurt, your pride. In a divorce, presumably, a fair division of marital assets would be made, but to sue a hooker is pathetic and sad. You cant force someone to love you, to stay with you, and if you could, would you want to. Have some dignity. The American justice system is a joke.

    I suppose you would suggest suing the 15 year old prostitutes who’ve been sold ino that too,you pathetic human being! The white collar pigs who use them and the battle axe wives misdirecting their anger for the temptation their poor hubbies couldn’t resist,seriously you people are pathetic,but thanks or the entertainment on these posts,jesus god I’d rather have my finger nails ripped out than be with some of you spitefull broads.

  • KY

    Typical man response. Woman gets cheated on repeatedly by someone she believes she shares her life and soul with, but feeling hurt is somehow “catty”. Maybe it’s catty to be a cowardly little bitch who needs a bevy of women to keep his fragile ego intact.

  • KY

    I am not American and I can see where they’re coming from. If you share assets with your husband, and he goes and spends 87K for your money, and suing him won’t get the money back, you’re damn right they should sue.

  • KY

    Oh, your story is so awful. It’s one thing when these bastards cheat, it’s another when they try to convince you that you are crazy for catching on to what they’re doing! Glad you have the support of your kids.

  • Nat1119

    I left my fiance in July for not helping me with the bills, being on unemployment, again, and just being a lazy leech. I decided to give us another chance apart to see if he REALLY meant it when he said he loved me and wanted to work on himself. I am a professional and am more than able to support myself (luckily) He quit school in the 8th grade and his MOMMY has always bailed him out. I know- I should have stopped the story there and RAN but I didn’t. I love him. haha

    I was suspicious 2 weeks ago. I don’t know why. I took a stab at his password on his cell phone bill and was right. He has been calling escorts from ‘Backpage’ since I moved out. The calls are a minute long. When I confronted him he said he was curious about the voices behind the pics online. He was lonely and mad at me for moving out. A lot of calls are during the day, while I am working. He SWEARS he never had one over. He was addicted to calling them and hearing a ‘friendly’ voice. I asked what was said and he said that it was always clean because those are the rules and once pricing was mentioned he would hang up. Some days he would call 10 in a row- one after another.

    He had blown through some cash. He has always been able to go through cash- this is not the ‘red’ flag.

    I want to believe him………………….but I don’t. I called a couple of the numbers. The girls won’t talk to me. I’m not mad at them, just as a woman I wish one would tell me for sure.

    How long do these calls last? I know I am being stupid. We have been together for 6 years. I guess I keep trying to ‘fix’ him because of the few good features he has. He is all I know. I work and spend time with him. I don’t know how to start over.

  • http://www.filthylucre.com Ed Shull

    Natasha, I’m at a loss as to what confirmation you’re seeking. You just described a total loser, and you clearly see that. Just because he’s too broke to get more than a “friendly” voice doesn’t mean he won’t do more when he can. Why not just leave the loser and be past the drama? I really don’t get women.

  • Rosredrs

    GET STD too

  • Rosredrs

    How does it feel to be pretended loving against the real love ? Would u marry the hooker? Would you like your own person to do a three some?

  • Micchelle

    Its lying, and its that simple. Don’t COMMIT to a relationship, lead someone on and make them think that your faithful to them! If you want a variety of vagina… take your money that you didn’t have when you were younger, and get all that mess out of your system, and when you can share yourself, with one person and devote your whole being to her then settle down… When you can realize that having all of those different women, are nothing compared to reaching true intimacy, truth and devotion with someone… then perhaps you wont have an overwhelming desire to pay someone to open their legs for you. I understand the excitement of variety, but its just wrong to lie in a relatonship. If you can look yourself in the mirror after fucking a whore, and tell the woman you love that she is the only person you share yourself with, and wouldn’t care if she was doing the exact same thing, then by all means go live out your childish fantasies, hell maybe you can have 4 somes.

  • Alexraywhite

    The level of grammer and punctuation in this thread is offensive.

  • Micchelle

    Seriously Alexraywhite?! GRAMMAR!!!! Unbelievable.
    I would consider spell checking what you have written, before you judge.

  • The other man

    I’m glad you feel that way, Hooker Fan, because i am F#$%ing your girlfriend. No hard feelings, dude. Just part of life… ;)

  • Krayjess

    She sure is a good ho to lay too…. Bet she does not do to you what she does to me…hehe


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