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Is my Husband Seeing Prostitutes?

Do you think your husband is seeing a prostitute? Find out for certain.

My post on married men and prostitutes has brought in a significant amount of traffic and feedback.  One of the more interesting things that came from the post is hearing stories from women who have caught their husbands cheating on them with prostitutes.  So I thought I would write a quick post with tips to see if your husband is seeing a prostitute.

To best catch your husband, it will help to understand how prostitutes work.  First off, there are different types of prostitutes.  There are your street walkers, your escort agency hookers, the brothel prostitute, and your high-end escorts/companions.

Let’s start with the street walkers.  A typical street walker is going to charge between $20 – $100 (typically $30 – $40), and usually perform the act while in a car.  Since even scumbag husbands have some level of self-preservation, there is likely to be condoms involved.  And that is your first clue.  Condom wrappers in the car is an obvious sign that something is up.  Also, odd charges on a bank card at a drug store of gas station could be condoms.  If you see a charge for gas, and then a separate charge for inside the gas station, you may want to check if they carry condoms, and how much they cost, so that you can compare that to the purchase.  Then ask your husband what he bought.  If what he says doesn’t match the charge, and the price of a pack of Trojans does, he’s busted.

Moving on to escort agencies, these places take credit cards.  Look for any charges for things like “Airport Services”, “Mobile Assistants”, “Hotel Services” or “Massage Service”  .  And if in doubt, call your credit card company and ask them what type of company made these charges.  Believe it or not, the credit card company will sometimes be able to tell if the company is an escort agency.

Also keep in mind the typical charge for an escort agency via credit card is about $300 – $700.  If you see a suspicious charge from the same company twice in the same day, that could be an escort agency.  Escort agencies charge for having the girl show up to the room.  Once there, it’s up to the girl and the client what happens and the cost.  They will sometimes hit the card when the girl gets there, and then hit is again for the girls “tip”.

Phone records are also a good indication.  If your husband has half a brain, he’s not going to call the agency from his mobile phone, knowing you could see the call.  So check with the hotel if any local calls were made from the room.

Brothels are highly unusual, and not likely unless your husband has gone to Nevada, or out of the country.  Still, know these places take credit cards as well, and are not as stealthy as the escort agency at hiding the charges.  Look for charges of about $500 – $1000.

The independent escort is the more common approach these days.  Most advertise on the Web, allowing men to check out the goods through pictures first.  These escorts do not usually take credit cards, although some do use Paypal.  Usually these are cash transactions.  There is a common thought that anyone taking out hundreds of dollars from an ATM after midnight is up to no good.  Keep in mind that these girls typically charge around $300, because that’s what men can take out of an ATM at any time.  So look for late night withdrawals.

And because these girls are often contacted through the Web, you can often find good evidence through your husbands computer.  Check his browser history, and his cache.  Search the machine for pictures.  Sites like eros-guide.com, or Craigslist.org are the most often paces where guys go shopping for hookers.  If your husband is traveling to a different state, check out the local Craigslist for that state on his computer.  You should be able to tell if he has clicked the links for the “erotic services” section.

Keep in mind that when confronted, he will of course lie.  And when shown 100% proof, he will claim that it was his first and only time.  This will be a lie.

About Ed Shull (363 Articles)
I'm the editor of Filthy Lucre, and the CEO of USWeb. I write about things I find interesting in the financial and business space, and often gadgets. I'm an unapologetic Apple fanboy I spend most of my waking day near an iMac, iPhone or iPad. I split my time between my beach condo in Baja, and my home in Las Vegas.
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98 Comments on Is my Husband Seeing Prostitutes?

  1. my dad is cheating on my mom. it all started when i made a youtube account with my friend.i never knew there was such a think called “google account.” well, i made a youtube and i also (with out me knowing) got a google account too. i logged on my dads computar and mine for years. but one day i went on my youtube and noticed my google account. i went on it and explored it a little bit; to see what was it was about. i then saw the web history…then when i saw it. It showed something like this
    “11:00 XXX..EXCORTS/MASSAGE/CRAIGLIST…” something like that
    At first i didn’t think much about it. because i didn’t know what it meant.
    I asked my friends..and well i guess they knew.
    After that, i looked through everything and the history went back to 2009. It was like a bad car accident, it was so bad but i couldn’t look away.
    Before i had a amazing relationship with my dad. He bought me everything i wanted, eventhough he didn’t have much. He isn’t rich. Neither is my mom. But they do the best the can do. Im speakless. so shocked. because i have a super close family. we are all we have. and if my dad and mom work together. my dad works 2- 10/11/12/1/2/3 and my mom works 5 to 5. He isn’t rich, yet he can affort to do such a thing. its gross. i hate my dad now. he doesn’t know i know. and none of them know how much it affects me. im only 14 years old and im starting high school next year. im mom has no clue.
    i can’t tell her or my dad or anybody because then our family will be destroyed and they would blame me.
    i don’t know what to do.

    • Tanya, that really sucks. It is possible you’re dad was just looking and didn’t do anything. Sometimes it’s just a thought or a fantasy. Guys do stupid things sometimes, regardless of how old they are or their family life.

      Don’t hate your father. Just accept that he’s not perfect. Try not to let this interfere with your relationship. You may even want to clear that history out so it doesn’t become a bigger issue.

      • You are an idiot! Cover for him? Wow… you are a future cheater just like he is. TANYA, DONT LISTEN TO THIS GUY, HE’S ONE OF THEM!

    • dontcover4him // February 2, 2013 at 6:03 am // Reply

      This is interesting getting a childs point of view on the aftermath of men cheating. You need to confront your dad! If you need help seek a school counselor or church clergy. Your dad is sick and needs help. His behaviors cause damage… look whats its done to you already! Would you want your husband to behave like that? Cheat on you??? TELL HIM HOW YOU FEEL NOW!!!!

  2. I AM SORRY KATHLEEN… BUT ….. WHAT?!?!?!?!? aljdfhuihoqerihfoirghoirhgiorgh???? huh

  3. I am devastated……. Here is my situation. I called my husband, because I was going into labor- I was 41 weeks pregnant with our only son and he was drunk. He was supposed to be at work, but decided to go to happy hour with co workers. Well long story short, he partied it up went out on a weekend binge, ignored my calls while I was in the hospital in labor and the finale of the weekend, he called an esccot service and paid 300 dollars to this escort and had her come to our house and had sex with her.

    That was 3 months ago. I am still full of rage and am so upset at the betrayal and lies… not to mention the complete disrespect he showed by bringing her to our home. Now, we argue about it daily …. we are in counseling and he claims he wants to move forward, but how does someone move past something so fifthly ? Has anyone had any luck?

    I do truly believe after months of going over this situation that it has little to do with me, it was his own insecurities, and ability to just be a selfish person but how does someone live knowing that the man that they love is capable of something so gross? How does someone turn their back on someone they say they love and do this?

    I am suffering so much from this, and just want to let it go.

    • PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE Divorce his ass,god there are some stupid women on here LEAVE HIM. He will cheat again

      Having a whore in your house when you were delivering a baby?LMAO OMFG Come on! do you have a shred of self respect?

      This is almost a comedy anyone would put up with that. You can do bad all by yourself. Twenty years of hell with a cheater and maybe a STD or a few uncomfortable adjusting years alone with piece of mind and your sweet baby?

    • Sorry it causing you so much hurt and pain when you are willing to be a mum for your family’s sake. Pack his luggage and asks for separation. Discuss with im on terms of Agreement of Separation after consulting lawyer. When he knows he got plenty to lose, he can do his math, then he will stop his misdeeds. Ask for the max. Good luck.

    • Deb in South Florida // November 28, 2011 at 2:22 am // Reply

      Michelle my husband did this with 12 prostitutes in 10 months, lead a double life behind my back, also paid that amt too, which means they are private escorts or work for a service….. If it happened once its very likely it happened other times as well!!!! I left my husbnad for a year, and now am back, dont know if it will work or not. He did it from apr of 2008 until like feb./march of 09 and I found out in April of 2009. I came back originally per my lawyer, we are in our 40[s married for 14 years at that point, I was so devastated I emotionally collapsed, but he was so distraught over it and wanted help bad, so he saw a doctor//counselor/ then we went together, also he did celebrate discovery, and 12 step class, and he met with the pastor regularly and we did too, he got baptized and claims he needed to become a new man as it was the last hope for him, he said it. He did change, and its the only way you can stay togther, the man must get help alone and together with you!!!! and he must go thru 12 step groups, and recovery groups and go to your church or temple and speak to someone there, It takes Work on HIS part to prove to you he wants help to get over this!!!!!!!
      [email protected]

    • Deb in South Florida // November 28, 2011 at 2:26 am // Reply

      also: you should separate , for at least a year, and wake him up, tell his family what he did and go to google.com and google all phone numbers on his phone for the past like 3 years!!! prostitutes have web sites and they will all come up, you must know what/how often and why!!! or it never works, and While you separate you should date and have FUN !!!!! Let him suffer now, they are all sick creeps but we love them, and sometimes it can work out…… but takes so much work, also: SELL the house demand you will not live there anymore….. creep to bring her there, ugggg mine did a prostitute in my town and then was friends with her, took her and her dog to MY vet, weird huh??? I did a police report on her and him!!! Public record, he then got kicked off as coach on little league in our town, the men were disgusted by him!!!!!

    • HE ONLY LOVES HIMSELF….. GET HIM GONE!!!

  4. I think your article is a rag and you are an idiot for writing it. If you don’t want your husband running around with hookers then do your job and satisfy him at home, because if you were taking care of him he wouldn’t be doing it. Hookers do what most wives don’t and they are great !

    • You are a sick and selfish son of a bitch. Hookers fake liking it with you because you pay them. You moron!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      • Surrytops_is_an_idiot // September 12, 2011 at 7:08 pm // Reply

        She is not supposed to like it you idiot!!!! she is getting paid for it. It’s a service! …. and yes you would be surprised of the # of guys that look for other women whether it’s a hooker or a friend with benefits just because his wife doesn’t take care of business at home.
        Women claim is a men’s job to do several things at home… and men gladly do them but then also women have certain responsibilities at home!! but noooo they have to make up BS excuses not to do their job!

        • Be romantic and sweet to your wives if you need to fulfill your desire. Your wives, whether with children or not need to be treated with respect, love, care. No romance no love no sex, simple as that. If men can be romantic during courtship, they have ability to continue so after marriage. It’s whether they want to put in effort or not.

      • seriously ladies call men names all you want but if your married and haven’t given it up for years,you deserve to be cheated on. Sex is HUGE part of marriage,open your legs and act like a whore in the bedroom! stop being so fridgid uptight bitch,alot of men think they can punish men by not giving them any ,the reality is the jokes on them in the end!

        • My hubby hasn’t had with me for years citing fatigue and stressed and what can a sweet wife do evern after sexy lingerie? Only masturbate, so pathetic. And indeed my husband has been fxxxg around and beg me not to tell our parents. So coward. I bit my tongue when I wanted to tell him he is a coward, if he dares to do it, dare to admit but it will destroy our marriage which something I don’t want to. Now he is experiencing withdrawal symptons.

        • Born Blonde 2 // October 12, 2011 at 1:42 pm // Reply

          The “put out or shut up” argument is invalid. We had sex nightly for a year. All flavors.

          He claimed to be, and for all purposes appeared to be deliriously happy. And satisfied. Actually worried he wasn’t enough for me. Wrong. His phone woke me up ringing at 2am. Odd time for a call, I checked it, his dad is really ill and I don’t know the numbers for all his family there. It was a “courtesan”. He had texted her first, a repeat customer it seems. My first thought, when does he have the time to see her? That’s how often we’re together.

          The silly little girl next door who believed in happily ever after is dead. I’m bleaching my hair blonde, getting a boob job, and living the reality. It’s a fucking banquet and you’re just an appetizer.

        • What about when he wont have sex with the woman that will do anything in bed with him that loves him and has been with him for three years? He stopped having sex with me after a month because he just likes it from whores apparently… Your argument is unfair. I do agree that punishing w sex is bs though. I hate it. And I am hot… this is degrading

        • Perhaps if a man knew how to be intimate and not treat their women like prostitutes they might find satisfaction…… the reality is men can’t handle REAL WOMEN so they seek prostitutes, a wam bam over and done. Real women are too powerful…

    • Men who go to the Swedish Touch in Vancouver will have a charge on their credit card under Eclypse Enterprises.

    • Men want excitement and challenges, new faces and bodies. They get bored when married long even though they know marriage is for life. They just cannot honour and love the women they once loved as LUST and temptation. Ask them whether they like their wives to be sleeping around. The answer will be no, cause wives belong to them. Why the irony? Wives willing to satisfy and fulfill needs but husbands think otherwise. Do you like you food fresh or old/stale but still edible? If fresh, you got the same answer as those shallow, selfish, irresponsible men. Good luck and GOD bless.

      • Deb in South Florida // December 6, 2011 at 5:14 am // Reply

        So do women !!!!! But we usually stay committed to the husbands, until they are snagged!!!!!! When my husband cheated I moved out and dated and partied and he hated it… oh well i had the best time of my life, equal time here guys!! My sex drive is way higher then his ever was, his is so low his ex wife thought he was gay, maybe thats why he went to whores, to see if hes straight but even they said he couldnt perform and just laid there, its a sickness in the mans mind!! and pure SELFISHNESS, you men wanna see paid whores, then leave your wife first no duh!!!!

      • Stephanieathome // February 11, 2012 at 9:02 am // Reply

        Talking about stale, how many men do these whores sleep with a day.
        The wife is the freshest of them all, loser. I’m sure that you get pretty boring in bed and expect the wife be all over you after sleeping with whores who do all the work. Whores are for lazy lovers.

      • “Men” may think he knows what he wants but a CHRISTIAN MAN knows what GOD wants!

    • Born Blonde 2 // October 12, 2011 at 1:40 pm // Reply

      The “put out or shut up” argument is invalid. We had sex nightly for a year. All flavors.

      He claimed to be, and for all purposes appeared to be deliriously happy. And satisfied. Actually worried he wasn’t enough for me. Wrong. His phone woke me up ringing at 2am. Odd time for a call, I checked it, his dad is really ill and I don’t know the numbers for all his family there. It was a “courtesan”. He had texted her first, a repeat customer it seems. My first thought, when does he have the time to see her? That’s how often we’re together.

      The silly little girl next door who believed in happily ever after is dead. I’m bleaching my hair blonde, getting a boob job, and living the reality. It’s a fucking banquet and you’re just an appetizer.

      • thats right girl be a lady out side the bed room and a stone cold man seducing whore in the bedroom FOREVER

      • Totally feel your pain as the silly little girl next door. Just in the last month found $20,000 worth of strip club bills and he confessed to sleeping with prostitutes from Craigslist 9 times. Our sex life was robust and now he is on his knees begging for forgiveness and saying he was on a destructive path and that he needs help. Hopefully neither of us has any nasty STD or AIDS. Sad stories…

    • As I stated!!! we were married for 3 years ( no ptostitutes,,, so I must have satisified him very much. It is when I left his true colors came out. That has nothig to do woth me. He is a sick bastard if he could’nt wait until his wife returned from a famiy emergency left to bury my dad and be with my family. He has the problem and sounds like you do too!!

      • Deb in South Florida // November 27, 2011 at 4:14 pm // Reply

        Jennifer there is so much ignorance from men on here!!! I was a very sexual wife and for years I begged my husband to take me to sex shops and he wouldnt! He was never sexual, never initiated sex it was all on me!!!! His ex wife thought he was gay for the lack of initiation!!!! He was always a gentleman, wiht manners and even told me that years ago he was at a bachlor party with his brother and lots of guys, htere was a whore there and he said he was the only one who did not go in!!! he couldnt do it!!
        So what happened to him? After 14 years of marriage, I knew something was wrong, and took him to a counselor, it just came out of my mouth and I had no facts then….. counselor knew us both and she said whats wrong? I said hes cheating, and my husband said what? no way!! how could i as i am home nights and weekends? All of a sudden it came out of my mouth and i shocked them and me: you are seeing prostitutes during the day thats how you are cheating!!!
        he almost dropped but he denied denied denied, and 6 months later I had all the evidence!!!!! he saw a dozen in-house private prostitues in 10 monhts, I spoke to them all….. even they wondered why he went to prostitues as he was not sexual and they all said he wanted to talk and be friends, wierd huh? but had sex with each and every one of them, had problems getting it up and i even found he ordered extenze from the tv hahahahahahaha
        he broke down and cried and saw our pastor, he went to celebrate recovery and did a 12 step program, and now got baptized and is a new man and christian, and says he was sick and low, and pushed all his morals away to feel good. I had left him and dated and partied and had the best time in my life!!!!!!!!!
        I maybe can forgive if hes a good man for the rest of his life, as we are in our late 40’s but I will never forget …. Trust me, he was shocked that I traveled, and met other men, dated and partied….. and I came back home to him and cheated for one year on him!!!!!! ONly cause I wasnt ready to come back… but forced to by lawyer………

    • Deb in South Florida // November 27, 2011 at 4:04 pm // Reply

      that is an Old Wives Tale, the men who go to Prostitutes are Sneakie/Messed Up men, if they are Married Men….. Even with very sexual wives, they still get the urge, cause they are sex addicts and they get the chemical high ….. they are also wacko to take a chance on giving themselves aids or stds!!!! and possibly leaving their kids parentless!!!

    • Calling people idiots doesnt do any good, especially someone hurting…why be cruel?..Does
      I dont get why people are just mean….other than blatant inmaturity and lack of education..your statement simply isnt true – ive done alot of research on this…my husband would tell you that “we have the best sex he has ever had”…EVERYDAY!!!…ive heard him tell his friends that-and that “he has the hottest wife in the world” – “who is a”doctor”… i heard these things when he didnt know i was listening…..its not necessarily what a guy isnt getting at home…its because there is mental disconnect alot of times and there are many reasons for this and most of the time it doesnt have anything to do with the wives at all…In my situation,he even admits the above..he says he is “lost…he lost his military career, doesnt get to see his kids from previous marriage often” and he feels like going to a prostitute gives him a “temporary escape” from reality and from someone that doesnt know his past or anything about him. Unfortunately alot of men are just driven by testosterone and have a need for the adrenaline rush of “not getting caught” and just liking variety..Some of this may stem from very controlling parents, especially the mother – which they say creates a subconscious hate for women….Thats def a contributing factor here…..NO one said hookers werent great…..Theres alot of people out there without morals….but no one is calling you out on that

    • How does it feel to be pretended loving against the real love ? Would u marry the hooker? Would you like your own person to do a three some?

    • crazyastheforum // February 1, 2013 at 11:49 pm // Reply

      Why not have some integrity there James…… if you arent getting what you want at home be honest, pay up, and get the fuck out!! Damn, it’s not hard! idiot

    • urasdumbasaprostitute // February 2, 2013 at 5:50 am // Reply

      I’m sorry you think with your dick. You assume men cheat because they aren’t getting it at home….. do your research before you act like you know what you are talking about.

  5. Remember people, single guys who can’t get laid use hookers too, not every hooker transaction is ruining a marriage. Although, there are many reasons men go this route when they are married. Honestly, if a man is still sexually active and if his wife (who is healthy and able) never gets around to having sex with him, it’s bound to happen, and I can’t say I blame the man, it’s in his core nature to have sex, I’m sorry that’s biology, and men are not necessarily wired to have sex with the same person. That’s not an elegant excuse, but it’s scientifically true. While it’s not pretty, there are too many women who are willing to satisfy the wants of the basic man for a nominal fee.

    It’s not like you have to give him a daily blowjob. And yes if the man is putting no romantic effort in to it, then he’s not trying and probably does not love you anymore anyways if he’s not trying to spark you. It’s real simple, have a sexual session with your husband about every 6 to 7 days, taking periods off of course, and making at least every other one REAL hot, ya know, doing a little something extra that you know he likes… and you got a satisfied man who will need a really pathetic reason to cheat on you. Problem solved, if you’re not doing that, then his sexual mind is wandering, he’s looking at acquaintances and bar flies as possible hook ups and looking at the web for hookers, and basically searching for a way to light it up since you’re not satisfying that basic physical need.

    I’m not being mean or using hyperbole, and I know this argument is more complex, and some men are always unsatisfied and they are a lost cause and it’s obvious it will never work out with him anyways. But for the 90% of normal-minded married men who are not getting laid, that’s the skinny. It’s not too demanding, like a weekly chore. If you don’t like it, then you’ll need to work that out and maybe just treat it like an errand, but just know that if you don’t, someone eventually will, it’s just reality. IF you stay in his sexual memory and have sex with him more frequently, his mind won’t wander, and he’ll just be looking forward to the next time you guys get busy, which he knows will not be too far off.

    • can try but won’t work cause I sleep naked, been wearing sexy lingerie and he has been cheating. Said he is tired or stressed at work so no sex for me for 6 years and I’m only 39 this year. I felt like a widow. Only admitted when his lover called me and kept silent during the calls and carried tales to him that I called him. He believes her and accused me of harassing her and touching his phone. Denied blantantly he has a lover at first then told me not to tell our parents. If he cared, he wouldn’t be doing it, cheaing, lying, fxx around and showering gifts on her. What crap! Ladies, if he doesn’t want sex with you, just pack his luggage and asks for separation. Read and listen to your religion or support group to keep your sanity & love for your family and friends. The world is still a beautiful place. Do what you have not been doing for yourself since marriage. Live a life without him during separation and find a better man when divorce is finalised if marriage cannot be saved without his serious effort and commitment. Trust is difficult to earn but easily broken.

  6. Sorry, that was Synpase Enterprises – This is what appears on a credit card for charges to the Swedish Touch in Vancouver. Lots of men who go to conferences in Vancouver end up here. It is below Brandi’s.

  7. VictoriaSecret // October 12, 2011 at 10:28 pm // Reply

    I found that my husband paid $300 to escort service by credit card when I was in business trip. He always says me that he will not cheat on me ever!! (His ex-GF broke his heard in past. He swore that he never will cheat on his wife)…

    Does enybody have an idea how to know what did he buy in escort service (massage, dance or sex)? Or maybe he chated on website and website charted money to him?

  8. VictoriaSecret // October 12, 2011 at 10:44 pm // Reply

    I found that my husband paid $300 to escort service by credit card when I was in business trip. He always says me that he will not cheat on me ever!! (His ex-GF broke his heard in past (she was cheating on him). He swore that he never will cheat on his wife)…

    Does enybody have an idea how to know what did he buy in escort service (massage, dance or sex)? Or maybe he chated on website and website charted money to him?

  9. M.Y. O'Hara-Smith // November 4, 2011 at 11:38 pm // Reply

    I find marriage to be a silly institution and maybe all this talk of prostitutes and “husbands” will lead to its demise. GODSPEED! It seems to invite all kinds of costly ‘worms’ and stresses into life and effects children more than anyone. Governments, religion, lawyers, bankers, in-laws, schools, drug companies, fashion designers, soccer Mom culture, therapists, mini-vans, cable television, Oprah, funeral outfits…Maybe the problem is that they keep trying to keep it ALIVE where it was in the beginning, which is impossible. It’s like staying stuck in a moment in the past. The only thing definite is change and living in the now. Perhaps one day we’ll all look back on it as a form of bondage. Men and women cheat themselves accepting such a sad standard and calling it a high form of love. May we all be as free as animals! All kinds out there…many levels of relating. No right, no wrong. Gawd bless us all!

  10. Jennifer Minnehan // November 21, 2011 at 2:49 am // Reply

    I thought I married the dream man of my life. Boy did he put on a good front. Claimed to be a christian
    cancer survivior. Had a great job opened the door for me. Never cursed! seemed to be the perfect gentemen. His company offered him a job in Singapore. I went with him, everything seem to be okay.
    I had to come back to the states for a family emergency. He brought me to the airport and cried and told me to hurry back that it would be so hard to be without the one you love. a week after I was in the states he started acting different. As a wife and woman that was married to this man 3 years. I felt something very wrong but couldn’t put my finger on it. He wouldn’t answer his phone at night. When I did get in touch with him his speech was slurred. He said he was working so many hours to stay busy and he was just tired. Something told me there was more going on. I hired a private investigator that followed him for one week!!! was I shocked to find out what my husband was doing. He had a different prostitute at our condo in Singapore every night and he was not working weekends so he wood hit bars
    and pick up prostitutes and bring them back to the condo. It was like I did not know the man the investigator had the videos and pictures on. But it was him. I was in the states 2 1/2 months he spent 48,000.00 on credit cards and I guess he was so far into his prostitution he did not care. I called him and told him I had him followed, he denied he had done anything he said whoever you hired is lying and taking your money I have never bought a prostitute and he hung up on me. I was so up set I took a bottle of xanax and tried to kill myself. My family got in touch with him and he flew back to the states.
    Begged me to forgive him that he would ever do it again. I finally tried to believe him and make my marriage work. He has done it again. He is sick and has serious problems. I call him the devil because how can anyone hurt someone they are married to and I gave 200% and he gave nothing but hurt and hell. His name is Daniel Minnehan 53 years old and he is the biggest loser in the world.

    • And this is why you don’t take a man who appears too perfect. No such thing as the perfect man or woman, if you can’t see any flaws then you can bet your ass that they’re hiding something or not being themselves

    • Deb in South Florida // November 28, 2011 at 2:28 am // Reply

      I feel your pain!!! 🙁

    • Jennifer so sorry to hear your story! I feel your pain as my story is almost identical except he doesnt just do it out of the country in Amman Jordan, Iraq -etc…he does it close to our own home. Mine is 47 years old and owns a reputable security company in NC…..Trust me…your husband may be the biggest loser in the world and I agree with you wholheartedly….but he isnt the only one….I call mine the Serpent and am on my way out of this situation after, like you giving 200%…..We deserve better! These men are mentally sick and their karma for the hurt they have caused will eventually catch up with them!

      • Jadedine2002 // March 19, 2012 at 1:44 am // Reply

        You say Iraq? How did you catch him there?

      • The prostitution problem is greater than many women think. My so called “perfect husband”, or at least he portrayed himself as being one, went to a prostitute and was shot and killed because she set him up to be robbed. The wages of sin is death. So men — CAUTION — it could happen to you!!

    • Bitch give me a break,your story could be told by millions and there’s no scandalous ending for Hollywood to be that interested. There’s been stories already written about stuff like this in Hollywood that ended in murder and worse.A million people have your story. Leave your fukkin husband or stop being a bitter vindictive bitch trying to punish everyone,you only look like a idiot,yes you do! I a bitter,nasty synical hag who will die getting back at everyone.LOSER~

  11. bigstiffpeckerman // December 6, 2011 at 3:04 am // Reply

    Women say what you want ,but your all PROSTITUTES. The only difference between a wife and a prosititute is a blessing!

  12. You know what all you bitter women have in common (besides husbands who want a little excitement)? You’re superstitious. You talk about church and pastors and seminary. Stop being so ridiculous and life won’t be so bad. You married bad men who believe in stupid fairy tales. You get what you deserve. You’ve married dumb men, as shown by them talking to an imaginary sky genie. It’s no wonder they were so easy to catch.

    I have a girlfriend at the moment. Been together for a while .It’s the first relationship I’ve had that’s lasted more than a year. I had only been to a hooker once, 6 years before meeting her. Since we’ve been together I’ve gone numerous times. It’s nothing evil, it just feels good. Sex is significantly more fun when it’s with someone new. So what? Men like to get a little strange on the side, it’s a natural urge. The whole reason for using whores is so as to not have to run around and cheat. No dating, no relationships, just that awesome sex. Often, sex with women we couldn’t get otherwise. That little Vietnamese spinner, that buxom blonde, that pregnant skank, whatever your pecker desires. It’s fantastic.

    In my case, it’s not necessarily anything my girlfriend is doing wrong. She’s pretty freaky, actually. I just need a variety of vagina.

    The nice thing is, I will never get caught. None of these dopey tricks in the article would work on me. The only thing that might work is a private investigator (like that woman who had her husband followed in Singapore). But, that would require extreme suspicion to do. I don’t leave a trail and I hope your husbands don’t either.

    Monogamy is not natural.

    Also, you need to take into account that for a lot of us, we didn’t have the money to do this kind of thing when we were young. So, what should we do, miss out on relationships to save ourselves for when we have the money for whores?

    • GET STD too

    • Its lying, and its that simple. Don’t COMMIT to a relationship, lead someone on and make them think that your faithful to them! If you want a variety of vagina… take your money that you didn’t have when you were younger, and get all that mess out of your system, and when you can share yourself, with one person and devote your whole being to her then settle down… When you can realize that having all of those different women, are nothing compared to reaching true intimacy, truth and devotion with someone… then perhaps you wont have an overwhelming desire to pay someone to open their legs for you. I understand the excitement of variety, but its just wrong to lie in a relatonship. If you can look yourself in the mirror after fucking a whore, and tell the woman you love that she is the only person you share yourself with, and wouldn’t care if she was doing the exact same thing, then by all means go live out your childish fantasies, hell maybe you can have 4 somes.

    • The other man // January 25, 2012 at 3:29 am // Reply

      I’m glad you feel that way, Hooker Fan, because i am F#$%ing your girlfriend. No hard feelings, dude. Just part of life… 😉

      • She sure is a good ho to lay too…. Bet she does not do to you what she does to me…hehe

        • I bet you don’t have the balls to let your girlfriend read how you really feel. Who knows, you said she’s pretty freaky…… maybe your already yesterdays news and you don’t know it yet…..

  13. “The independent escort is the more common approach these days.”

    Yes, and this latest development will indeed make it more difficult for a wife to find out if her husband is involved in any ‘extracurricular’ activities. Even more so with incalls. How could a wife ever find out for example, if her man is going to an incall, during the day, paying cash and using the sex worker’s apartment intercom rather than his phone? It’s something to think about.

    I’m not trying to make it easier for the men by mentioning the above scenario. I just know some stories, being as I live in the Bay Area, which is known for having a huge variety of such services available. Honestly, it’s practically a smorgasbord, and even a matter of pride in San Francisco.

    I also will not choose sides here. It’s a such a hot button issue and a complex one for that matter. I wish I could say I thought it was ‘just about the sex’ too, but I think clients are likely looking for a whole lot more in some cases. If only it were strictly business. But surely it involves a level of vulnerability and exposure (not just physical) on the part of the client and the sex worker. So I think a discussion beyond whether it is right or wrong is more helpful. I feel for anyone who is not getting the level of intimacy they need from a partner, whether it be a man or a woman. I do feel that a willingness to commit and get married means there were some genuinely good intentions, at least at the outset. Sometimes people get married far too young, and do not have the level of compatibility they thought they would. Then children come along, and so on and so forth. But then, I’m not married…

  14. I left my fiance in July for not helping me with the bills, being on unemployment, again, and just being a lazy leech. I decided to give us another chance apart to see if he REALLY meant it when he said he loved me and wanted to work on himself. I am a professional and am more than able to support myself (luckily) He quit school in the 8th grade and his MOMMY has always bailed him out. I know- I should have stopped the story there and RAN but I didn’t. I love him. haha

    I was suspicious 2 weeks ago. I don’t know why. I took a stab at his password on his cell phone bill and was right. He has been calling escorts from ‘Backpage’ since I moved out. The calls are a minute long. When I confronted him he said he was curious about the voices behind the pics online. He was lonely and mad at me for moving out. A lot of calls are during the day, while I am working. He SWEARS he never had one over. He was addicted to calling them and hearing a ‘friendly’ voice. I asked what was said and he said that it was always clean because those are the rules and once pricing was mentioned he would hang up. Some days he would call 10 in a row- one after another.

    He had blown through some cash. He has always been able to go through cash- this is not the ‘red’ flag.

    I want to believe him………………….but I don’t. I called a couple of the numbers. The girls won’t talk to me. I’m not mad at them, just as a woman I wish one would tell me for sure.

    How long do these calls last? I know I am being stupid. We have been together for 6 years. I guess I keep trying to ‘fix’ him because of the few good features he has. He is all I know. I work and spend time with him. I don’t know how to start over.

    • Natasha, I’m at a loss as to what confirmation you’re seeking. You just described a total loser, and you clearly see that. Just because he’s too broke to get more than a “friendly” voice doesn’t mean he won’t do more when he can. Why not just leave the loser and be past the drama? I really don’t get women.

    • If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck…. it’s a duck. He’s lying, he’s deceitful, he’s pathetic for you working while he seeks other women. OPEN YOUR EYES!!!!

  15. Alexraywhite // January 12, 2012 at 10:19 am // Reply

    The level of grammer and punctuation in this thread is offensive.

    • Seriously Alexraywhite?! GRAMMAR!!!! Unbelievable.
      I would consider spell checking what you have written, before you judge.

  16. ILoveMyWife // March 13, 2012 at 11:54 pm // Reply

    As my wonderful wife tells me “sex is easy, its feelings that get in the way”. I do firmly agree with her, and I will always agree with that statement no matter how long I live. If a man feels the need to go and visit a prostitue, then by all means visit a prostitute. If a wife feels the need for the same thing then she is entitled to do the same thing as well. I am not saying that it is right for spouses to do that to eachother, but I will say this about it. Guys if you want to go out and get some strange, why not talk to your wife about it…granted I do not have the most normal of marriages, but I can tell my wife anything in this world. Ladies, be more excepting of what the men are saying…don’t blow them off or call them perverts just because that is what society is dictating you do. If you can both agree as a couple to allow another woman (or man) in the bedroom then share and enjoy. There needs to be no feelings attached to this person, but it opens many doors and will if you have a strong marriage make the two of you that much closer.

    Swinging is a lifestyle choice, and you always need to go into any situation with an open mind, and the ability to tell your spouse that you are not comfortable with a situation. PROTECTION PROTECTION PROTECTION!!!!!! Not everyone in the world is as clean as your wife or husband (not from experience) should be so make sure all precautions are taken. Swining couples tend to have much healthier relationships due to the fact that they are open to talking with eachother about situations in which on or the other would otherwise have to hide…according to society that is. For instance ladies, say your man is walking with you in a grocery store and he sees a female that is very attractive….in the world we live in automatically he is going to look away and hide what he is thinking. Instead why don’t you point her out and ask what he thinks of “that”…turn the female into an object much like a box of cereal on the shelf rather than a real person that he can think to himself as a “spank bank” or “I could have her if it wasn’t for my wife”.

    By talking about these things with your spouse you should be able to affectivly open communication lines and stop the want for a prostitute and replace the need for it with yourself…or another swinging couple.

    For the guys always remember that even though your wife is not putting out so to speak she is still a very sexual being and needs your attention. Never in your life should you ever stop complementing and flirting with your wife or as I like to call it “spitting game”. Let her know how important she is to you and how beautiful you think she is…even on days that she is wearing sweats and cleaning up after the kids (even runway models love to drop the makeup and lounge, let your wife) she will still need that reassurance from you. Even if she says “stop lying” or even “you have to say that cause we are married”. NEVER STOP TELLING HER YOU LOVE HER!

    I have rambled long enough, and kept on topic about as look as a Hooker stays in church….thought I would try a bit of a joke. I will quote myself here being that is for the most part what I have been doing to end this. The key to any great relationship is communication, if you have that then you have the world in your hands.

  17. ILoveMyWife // March 13, 2012 at 11:54 pm // Reply

    As my wonderful wife tells me “sex is easy, its feelings that get in the way”. I do firmly agree with her, and I will always agree with that statement no matter how long I live. If a man feels the need to go and visit a prostitue, then by all means visit a prostitute. If a wife feels the need for the same thing then she is entitled to do the same thing as well. I am not saying that it is right for spouses to do that to eachother, but I will say this about it. Guys if you want to go out and get some strange, why not talk to your wife about it…granted I do not have the most normal of marriages, but I can tell my wife anything in this world. Ladies, be more excepting of what the men are saying…don’t blow them off or call them perverts just because that is what society is dictating you do. If you can both agree as a couple to allow another woman (or man) in the bedroom then share and enjoy. There needs to be no feelings attached to this person, but it opens many doors and will if you have a strong marriage make the two of you that much closer.

    Swinging is a lifestyle choice, and you always need to go into any situation with an open mind, and the ability to tell your spouse that you are not comfortable with a situation. PROTECTION PROTECTION PROTECTION!!!!!! Not everyone in the world is as clean as your wife or husband (not from experience) should be so make sure all precautions are taken. Swining couples tend to have much healthier relationships due to the fact that they are open to talking with eachother about situations in which on or the other would otherwise have to hide…according to society that is. For instance ladies, say your man is walking with you in a grocery store and he sees a female that is very attractive….in the world we live in automatically he is going to look away and hide what he is thinking. Instead why don’t you point her out and ask what he thinks of “that”…turn the female into an object much like a box of cereal on the shelf rather than a real person that he can think to himself as a “spank bank” or “I could have her if it wasn’t for my wife”.

    By talking about these things with your spouse you should be able to affectivly open communication lines and stop the want for a prostitute and replace the need for it with yourself…or another swinging couple.

    For the guys always remember that even though your wife is not putting out so to speak she is still a very sexual being and needs your attention. Never in your life should you ever stop complementing and flirting with your wife or as I like to call it “spitting game”. Let her know how important she is to you and how beautiful you think she is…even on days that she is wearing sweats and cleaning up after the kids (even runway models love to drop the makeup and lounge, let your wife) she will still need that reassurance from you. Even if she says “stop lying” or even “you have to say that cause we are married”. NEVER STOP TELLING HER YOU LOVE HER!

    I have rambled long enough, and kept on topic about as look as a Hooker stays in church….thought I would try a bit of a joke. I will quote myself here being that is for the most part what I have been doing to end this. The key to any great relationship is communication, if you have that then you have the world in your hands.

  18. Interesting article but recommendation to check to browser history is not sophisticated enough. All modern browser are equipped with privacy mode (no history recorded etc). If the guy is smart enough he can use that. Only way to catch this is enabling logging on home router (if he doesn’t manage it!) or use some kind of spy program for his computer (assuming the woman is the better with computers)

    Of course he probably won’t use his mobile phone-pay phones are cheap at Walmart, and all sorts of calling apps are available for smart phones. Get a stealth app for the smart phone to log calls and texts…

  19. The consequences and effects of marrying teh wrong guy!!! The guy who marries the wrong woman WILL try to compensate , aka prostitutes. So ladies and gentlemen make sure you marry the right guy and for the right reason.

  20. I got a phone call from a man asking for my husband on my cell phone. I took a message and told my husband to call back. He got defensive and said I don’t know who she is. He called the number next to me and I could hear her voice. She said do u remember me from yesterday? He said I don’t know u and hung up on her. A few hours later I texted her pretending to be him. I finally said I was his wife and she called me and said she was a hooker and they had intercourse. I showed him the messages and threw him out of the house. There was not a lack of sex in our relationship. As a matter of fact we had sex the same night the he saw the hooker. It is now 4 days later and he denies that they had intercourse. Only admits to her performing oral sex on him for $30. Disgusting. We have been married for 12 years and he blames me for his choice to seek out a whore. I know it is not my fault, but it still hurts like hell. He swears it was the first time but I find it hard to believe that someone gets caught at there first time

  21. Those are excellent ways to determine if your man is cheating. I had to search for months, saw patterns in bank withdrawals in certain areas of town, confronted him and dared him to respond with a lie! He’s crazy to think that I WANT TO SPEND MY TIME BABYSITTING!!!!

  22. You never stated if your wife approved of your cheating….. that doesn’t count? Thats the problem…. there is no respect or consideration for the betrayed. It’s like our feelings are not considered…..

  23. …. there is nothing lacking in Alexraywhite’s blog…. put down the pipe

  24. beauty is what is inside…… it’s definetly not a whore full of the worlds cum.

    • or a bitter old hateful judgemental kunt (spelled wrong so it can be posted) who justifies her hatred and violence as punishement with her god and Christian bullshit. I’d cheat on you too,you sound like my ex. You dont have to worry about inner beauty hateful hag,from the rampage under different names on here all in one day I can see you have none.Your a toxic vile old bitch,and crazy. Now go stuff that fire and brimstones B.S up your spiteful,condeming ass!

  25. WHAT??? LIKE YOU OPEN YOUR LEGS FOR ANYTHING???? LOSER

  26. Susan Podolski // February 2, 2013 at 6:13 am // Reply

    My husband bought prostitutes in Singapore in 2010, the we went to Cartagena Colombia in 2011 and he was caught buying prostitutes again,. I filed for divorce and he ended up marrying a prostitute his name is Daniel Minnehan working with CB&I the prostitutes is Sandra Lemus!! Oh well he got her off the streets and I got rid of the loser!!

  27. menarebiologicallypolygamous // February 16, 2013 at 6:35 am // Reply

    dumb dumb dumb! there’s something wrong with a man if he doesnt try to get all the tail he can. it has nothing to do with how good a husband he is. its not even ‘cheating’. Cheating is not playing by the rules of marriage, that is not accepting your role as a man. Being a henpecked dominated loser, and letting your wife wear the pants, thats cheating…

  28. Hi, I am not sure what to do. I happened to check my husbands phone this morning, and I found a missed call with the girls first name from about 1 that morning. There were also text messages between her and my husband. Basically there was one about his birthday coming up, the girl also said she missed him or missed talking to him. The last one was also a text message around the same time as the missed phone call. I googled the number, and it was a girl of an escort. Later I confronted him, and he said he had no idea who she was, and how the name even got in his phone. So someone else picked up his phone who happened to have birthday around the same time as him, texted this girl… Come on I am not stupid. I told him I googled the number and she was an escort came up, so he laughed saying that should have been my clue he did not know her. He said the fact that I even looked up the number, was crazy to him. He says I get jealous, and this is part of my jealousy. I mean names, numbers, and texts do not just appear on a person’s phone and that is what he tried to tell me.

    We have a good sex life, I thought, so why is he turning to this? Do you think he even did anything with her, or are they just talking? Do you think I am wrong that I have a feeling he did?

    • I think the chance he’s telling the truth is pretty slim here. Short of catching him physically in the act, this is about as close as you will get to proof.

      So he’s cheating with a hooker, and lying to your face when confronted with undeniable proof. With all due respect, I think you’re husbands being an a-hole and taking you for a fool. How you handle this is of course up to you, but you shouldn’t feel bad about being pissed, you have every right to be angry.

      Do you still have the number? Check your husbands phone records and see if he made previous calls. Or, you could always text her back when he’s sleeping. Grab his phone when and text her that you’re missing her and want to know if she’s free tomorrow, and ask if she can lower the price for repeat dates. Her reply should give you a good idea. But I would start with the phone records.

      Once you have more concrete proof, don’t ask him about, you tell him you know and to not disrespect you further by trying to make you sound crazy or stupid. Only when he comes clean will you be able to get some honest answers as to what this is.

      You then have a choice, do you accept it and move forward, either allowing or not allowing the behavior, or do you decide that he’s not worth the breach and leave him? Either way, don’t let him take control of your decisions. You decide for yourself.

  29. Thank you for getting back to me. You pretty much told me what I already knew that I needed more proof. I am not dumb, so why is my husband treating me as if I am. I do not know about getting phone records because everything is his name. I am pretty much screwed there. Do you think this girl will think that it is him or know it is me. This is not me being jealous. I am concerned, he is going to catch some STD from her. I think I would be more okay if this was someone he had feelings for. This to me is gross! And if this is true like I think it is, I will have lost all respect for him. I mean how do I get past this. This girl is an escort. I don’t even want to wear my ring right mow. I am because I making him think I believe him when all my trust for him is gone, so how am I supposed to get past this. I can’t even stomach him right now and to think he betrayed our marriage this way. I knew there were things. I know I have a sixth sense for this stuff. The real kicker is we have four kids together 2 are ours and 2 from his first marriage. I know this is going to really hurt the 2 oldest. I have known his six year old daughter since she was almost 2. Granted I know these are reason to stay together and this is his fault not mine. I would want to still see his 2 older kids when I can. They are very important to me as well, and they are like my own.

    • I imagine you can make the escort believe you’re him. But honestly there doesn’t seem to be much of a point. I’d say you set aside a time to talk to him alone and without being pissed or reactionary, you ask him what’s going on. If he starts with the “you’re crazy” or “you’re overly jealous” crap, tell him that’s not an acceptable reply and if is going to shut you out then you have to assume there is nothing more to discuss between you.

      Maybe I’m weird here, but to me the lying is much worse than the cheating. You caught him, and he knows it. He’d rather you just sit back and take it than him have to fess up and apologize. If his ego is that big, and he cares so little for you, then here isn’t much left to be said.

      I get that you’re close with his kids, and that is something to think long and hard about. But you do have to truly think about this. It doesn’t sound like something you’re ever going to be ok with, so that leaves you with two options:

      1. He comes clean and stops this behavior.
      2. You leave him and move on with your life.

      If you agree with that, then your path is clear. Don’t play Cold War games of pretending to believe him. Take the high road and be direct. You don’t need to be hostile or angry, even if that’s how you feel, but be direct and lay out his options.

      And as far as the “You’re crazy and jealous” stuff, that’s him knowing you’ll second guess reality because the stakes are so high. Its manipulation and it’s a dick move on his part. Remind him he is a husband and father and the least he can do is be a man about admitting when he makes a mistake.

      Again, I think you should talk to him directly, alone and calmly. Don’t ask if it’s true, start from the position you know it is. Say something like, “We need to talk about you with this escort. I’m angry, but most importantly I’m afraid you’re crossing the line of no return for us and you’re going to break up our family. I need you to be honest about why you’re feeling the need to do this.”

      Give him a sort of amnesty for coming clean. When he tries to deny it, remind him you’re not stupid and that this is his chance to man up to the mistake and work things out with you. When he lies again, walk away and give him some time. Let him know tomorrow you’ll be making arrangements to leave and if he has something to say before then, that’s great. Give him the night to consider what’s at risk. But then do move forward for your own sake.

  30. I went in his email and found an explicit draft message from a girl about liking what he said and if he was free to get together, and went into expicit detail about what she would do for him. Again, I confronted him but this time on the phone, Again I was mad. I acted impulsively, and again he denied it saying he had no idea what I was talking about and claimed it was spam, it was not in a spam folder. He again turned it around on me and said I look for these things. I told him what about the girl, we will call her “Shannon” . He told me again he had no idea how her number got there. Oh, and her name was actually on his phone, but he had no clue how it appeared there, and suddenly, I am the jackass. He swore to me he was never with any “prostitutes” and there are not any other girls. He said I sought this out because she wasn’t in his inbox? Oh, and mysteriously, this was deleted from his drafts altogether. In hindsight, I should have waited until I saw him, but thempn his older 2 kids would have been there. I was really mad, and may have acted on impulse. He maybe one of the biggest manipulstors I have ever met.

    Can these spam messages be put into drafts. Why would he get this stuff if it is not legit? Drafts are usually messages not sent, correct, so maybe the thought of sending something back, but did not. His response looked like let’s meet up tonight, what is your number.

    I agree with what you are saying. I need to talk to him again, calm and rationally, but I think he is going to keep on lying to me. I agree with you, he has little respect for me as his wife and the mother of his children. I agree, there is so much he could lose here, and other women will not put up with this BS. I really do think he is insulting my intelligence.

    The place is mine, so I would tell him not to bother coming home tomorrow night? This is not me, right. You do not think I sought this stuff out. He is truly doing something shady and is not going to man up. Instead, he is going to turn everything around on me. I don’t even know who this person is anymore. Maybe, I never did.

    We have only been together for almost 5 years. Out youngest daughter is 1. This is his second marriage which should have told me something. I just knew his ex has issues, maybe part of it is him.

    I do think someone else would be happy to be married to me, and cherish the person I am inside and out. I will think about what is on the line here. I have so much to think about. I know our kids cannot be what keeps us together. Trust, not cheating, or lying also are a big part of what I want. You hit the nail on the head, lying which he clearly is doing is a BIG deal breaker for me.

    • It sounds like you have your answer. You have phone messages, email exchanges, etc… You don’t need any more proof. Obviously you should be printing and documenting as much as possible at this point in preparation for potential legal issues, including custody disputes.

      You’re not crazy, and you’re not in the wrong. I feel you do owe him a one-to-one conversation where you give him the opportunity to take the step to fix things, but you need to know what you want. I would predict the next step from him will be an admission, and you’ll hear things like, “I was just curious”, or “I never went through with it”, and my personal favorite, “This was the only time, I swear”. Be aware that he will be more careful next time. Look for things like alternate emails, alternate phones, or service like Google Voice and Skype to make calls from a separate number.

      The fact is, it sounds like he has no intention of stopping his behavior, so you should probably proceed with what will make you happiest long term. Kicking him out is probably a good next step, regardless of what you decide to do. And do start building your pile of document evidence for any legal protection you may need.

      Sorry to hear it’s gone this way, but you’re right in that not all guys are like this, and deserve better.

      And yes, a Draft is a saved email you were sending. So his excuse is bullshit there too. Not that it matters at this point.

  31. Heart broken wife // December 23, 2013 at 5:56 pm // Reply

    Hi Ed shull,

    I feel I am dead but still alive . I can’t feel my body or heart. I am in so much pain, I just found out my husband of 12 years has been cheating and been sex addict for all these years to prostitues and massaging ladies . He was acting perfectly normal and cheating all these years . He is computer geek , keeps everything safe and clean . I just had baby few months ago , I was waiting for him to come back from work to take shower and he told me he is going to wall Mart to buy waste basket , I said it can wait . But he still went and switched his phone off for couple of hrs . That is the first time in my life I even thought something is wrong . Then I found in his ph the appointment he had at massaging center . I was broken into pieces . I immediately asked and which he denied . Long story short , every other day he is doing with escorts and massaging ladies or with ph chatting. We have 2 kids. 5 yr old and 4 month old. Obviously my husband showed any interest to change. But my 5 yr old loves him so much. I am very depressed and don’t know what to do. I am so afraid to loose him for kids shake and same time I feel so much sick when he has no love to me .

  32. Hello, I am terribly sorry for all the pain you have gone trough. I honestly wish you all can recover, reinvent yourselves and be happy. I am currently going through a similar situation. I married my 9-year boyfriend; we have been married for 16 months, and have a 4-month baby.

    After a huge fight my husband asked me for the divorce and left home. The following day he transferred $20,000 to an actress/model/escort to spend with him 2 weeks, which she did. Not only she got the 20K but also various expensive gifts and a trip to Disney with him (what a ridiculous place to take a courtesan).

    I am eager to divorce and start a new life with my baby. We actually haven’t progressed much on the divorce negotiation because he has been too busy with this young lady (she is 22 and we are 30). I am not sure what is going on but he feels he is in love with her and even thinks she loves him. He might have the fantasy that she will see him even if he does not pay her, they are currently in Europe on a trip, but he keeps treating her like a princess flying first class, staying in resorts and getting her expensive stuff.

    I would like to know your perspective on two matters:
    1) Can their relationship last, I mean be real?
    2) How often do cheating husbands repent after divorce? It is just that this whole situation is so incomprehensible to me, he treats the whore as a princess and for the same time he is been with her he has treated me horrible, he doesn’t even care for his baby. He wants us out so he can bring the escort to live in my house.

    Thank you all.

  33. My husband and I got married in 2009. We had a baby girl right after 9 month. When I was 7 month pregnant doctors told me that I have a HPV virus. I was devastated, shocked and scared. I was sure that I got infected from my husband because it was an arrange marriage and I was virgin when I married him. So, of course he didn’t accept the fact of that STD issue. I just forgave him, I was so naive and stupid. I was only thinking about the baby’s health. After he totally changed and I stopped paying attention and stopped following his messages and emails. After couple years in 2011 I found out that he has an account with dating sites. He had so many contacts and he was chatting with them everyday. I was again so depressed and angry, and so sick of it. I couldn’t believe he could do this to me. Meanwhile, he apologized me, and said he would never ever cheat and compare me with those b…..s*.. What do you think? Again I forgave him. I just fell back in love with him once he apologizes and kisses me. As of today his working as a truck driver. He came home after Jan 1st. And opened his phone and searched for history records, emails, messages because I don’t trust him and at same time I love him. I found out he was searching for girls in Dallas, TX using backpage.com He called a girl Jan 1st at 1:09 am to call him back. I found a half naked girl in backpage with same exact number that he texted to. She was a petite nurse with 30 min, and 60 min good service of relaxation massage. At same day he went to sauna in Dallas because I was on the phone when he told me that. Also I have the find my Phone app where I can track him so he didn’t lie to me about it. He came home, I took him to restaurant and after a nice dinner I just opened my heart that was killing me. He said he never ever met anybody besides me. I said just to get separated if he is tired of leaving similar life. He agreed, yes he just agreed without even worrying. We have a 4 years old daughter this is just breaking my heart with such a pain. I looked up for an apartment we didn’t talk for 2 days and yesterday he came a little drunk and started to cry and apologized me. He just said that he loves me and never ever cheated on me. He didn’t say he will stop searching for backpage girls or dating sites.
    Can you tell me to what to do? To forgive him again? I’m so afraid to lose my family, to break my family apart. What can I do? Please help me anyone. I love this man. I just keep believing his apologies. Give me some advice pls… Thank you

    • Rihanna, I’m sorry to hear about this, and I apologize for the delay in replying.

      At this point I think you know all you need to. Your husband clearly has a problem being honest and not screwing around. He’s given you an STD, and you have caught him multiple times since.

      If you want to give him another chance, that’s your call. But I don’t think you’ll ever know for sure what he’s doing. Even if you don’t catch him, he’ll likely be continuing his behavior.

      So, if you don’t like the way you’re being treated, and he’s unlikely to change, then it’s time to move on. That sucks, especially for a little girl who he must not care about enough to stop his behavior, but that’s the reality.

      In the meantime, keep your proof of his actions, so you have what you need for the divorce. And make sure to protect yourself, since obviously it’s not a concern for him.

  34. Hi, I need help. My husband was out with his brother on saturday night and they only came home 6 the next morning. He told me he was at a bar but i felt something is wrong and checked his wallet. I found a slip for a whorehouse that he had swiped for 550. He promised me he didnt sleep with anyone and that him and his brother only drank. He even took me to the place for me to ask them and they said that he only drank and played pool, but ofcourse they would lie to protect their clients. Can you please give me your opinion as i have a very hard time believing him. He hasnt done this before (going out drinking)

  35. I found phone records for my husband that showed 3 calls to a number I didn’t recognize. I was snooping because I suspected he was up to something because we hadn’t been intimate in a while. The phone calls happened to be on a day that he was missing for about an hour when I was trying to contact him to pick up my daughter. I googled the number and it was a hooker named Krystal. The three calls to me seem like he called to set an apt then called twice for a meeting place or room number. I confronted him and the lame excuse I got was that he contacted her to earn money taking pictures for her. Is he an avid photographer yes but I don’t believe this. He refuses to come clean and admit to what happened. We have a young child together and have been together for so long (since 1997 when we were just 17), Im nervous about leaving him but unless he comes clean, I will never trust him again. It haunts me. I tried checking his phone because he has all phone records hidden and he actually threw his phone against the wall and broke it. His phone never leaves his side and he wont even bring his work phone home anymore. I just don’t know how many more he has cheated with. I deserve better than this, I wish he would come clean so I can make a decision without worrying if I made a mistake.

    • It seems like a simple thing to check, ask to see the pictures.

      Of course he’s probably lying, so you’ll have to figure out what you’re doing at that point.

  36. I have been married for 3 years and together for 10. My husband’s behavior and pattern changes throughout the relationship. One day he is madly in love with me and the next day he isn’t. I have noticed phone numbers from other women on his cellphone but he always have an excuse. He was caught giving his cellphone out to old sex partners on Facebook but he brushed it off. Once he asked an ex-girlfriend for sex on Facebook but he said that they were just playing. Two years ago I noticed that he was on Backpage but he claimed that he was just looking. When I check his cellphone many times he is on some type of sex websites. Yesterday we had a disagreement and I checked his cellphone and again he was on Backpage looking at whores. Do you think he is just looking or is he actually meeting up with these women? My husband drives trucks and he works at night. He also carries money on him just in case of emergencies. We do not share and credit card or bank accounts. How could I find out the truth? He will never admit to anything because he is a pathological liar. Please help me!!!

  37. Mary Magdalene // April 23, 2014 at 2:47 pm // Reply

    Why would you want to continue with a pathological liar,of course he’s cheating. Hire a PI get proof and get a divorce!

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