Charles Ray Fuller - (nearly) the richest man in the world

By Ed on May 1st, 2008 at 12:15 pm

As a criminal you have to chose if you want to spend an entire life in crime, or just go for that one big score. If you plan out and execute a big enough crime, you could just flee the country and live out your days like a bad Pierce Brosnan movie on some tropical island with a hottie. All the time your name being used back in the hood as some sort of modern day D. B. Cooper.

Well that was the plan of Charles Ray Fuller. A man whose name will go down as a dreamer. Crazy? Maybe. Stupid? No doubt. But no one can take away the man’s dream.

Mr. Fuller is a man who appreciates the simple plans. He knows that the more complicated the plan, the more things can go wrong. So his plan, much like himself, was simple.

On Wed., April 30th, Charles Ray Fuller walked into a local Chase Bank in Fort Worth, TX. He handed a check to the teller, made out to him from his girlfriends mother, for $360 billion dollars. In case you don’t know what that looks like, $360,000,000,000.00.

I know what you’re thinking. It’s unlikely that his girlfriends mother, who must be very proud of her daughters choices in men, would have $360 billion dollars in her account. But you forget that many of use have overdraft protection. My bank for example lets me go over-limit all the time.

But in a case of clear racial profiling, the teller called the account owner to verify. Crazy. A black man can’t have a check for $360 billion dollars in this country without being a “criminal”?

The unjust event lead to the arrest of Mr. Fuller. He was also charged with possessing a weapon (must be his foil-like intelligence) and marijuana (which obviously should be charged as an accomplice in this crime).

It could not be confirmed if Charles Ray Fuller and his girlfriend are still together. But I’m sure if they are not she will move on and find another dreamer. Women are attracted to a man with a plan.

And to all the people in the Fort Worth prison system, before you judge a man by his failures, keep this in mind; failure is the path to success. And if you don’t swing for the fences, you’ll never hit that home run.

And to Charles Ray Fuller, I have this to say. Keep dreaming man, without dreams we are only left with nightmares. I anxiously await your next Lex Luther moment.